Reply To: two approach problems

[The_Hurricane]

Regarding your first problem, judgement by others is one of the four sources of anxiety for anyone learning to approach. (The other three are: judgement by your target, judgement by your friends, and your own judgement of your performance.) There’s really not much you can do about it except to keep approaching. Not only will it go away over time, but also, as you gain experience, you will come to relish the opportunity to shock bystanders by doing something that polite society deems completely unacceptable.

It’s also an opportunity to demonstrate some serious confidence, which helps you rather than hurts you. It’s that confidence that a woman finds most attractive when you approach, and the more difficult the social environment, the more confidence she will perceive it took for you to approach her.

It’s also really funny to see some of the shocked looks and smiles of the people around you. Oddly enough, it’s women – and especially older women – who are least judgemental. They love the idea that you did something uncomfortable for the possibility of finding romance.

As for approaching women who are sitting or lying on the grass, deliver your lines standing tall and relaxed. When the conversation actually start – when she responds – just sit down and keep going. Do not lean, stoop, or do anything else that may indicate that what you’re doing is at all important to you. You are just having fun.

–Lee