I wanted to review my steps and maybe get some advice...
I'm in a club/bar and see this cutie. I'm real attracted to her and she's the only one I'm really paying attention to in the club. I'm standing by the hallway that leads to the restrooms. I act as if I don't see her as she walks to the bathroom, but I think she looks at me for a sec.
There was a show going on and after the show the dj starts playing music and everyone in the club starts to get up from their seats. It starts to turn into more of a club atmosphere. It's not real crowded though.
I know I was conscious of my body language in the club and I tried to portray confidence and comfort the whole night. I'm with two friends and they just break off and head toward the dance floor and stage area. One of my friends knows a performer and he goes to say hi. Here is where I feel anxiety building up. I am unsure of whether to follow my friends (I don't want to be a follower) or to move to the back of the club because I am now standing alone. I want to move to the back so bad because it's comfortable and right now I am uncomfortable, but I don't. I fight the urge and somehow end up on the opposite side of where I was. I am now by the front of the dance floor where my two friends are. This is also the same side the cutie is on. She's sitting behind me. I see she's by herself. She seems like my type. I can't muster the courage to talk to her.
I run into my co-worker and a couple of his friends. I introduce my buddies and they end up hanging out with us. The cutie is now sitting with her friend (female).
People are sprinkled on the dance floor. The cutie and her friend get up and dance not too far in front of me. My friend, we'll call him Odie , thinks the cutie's friend is hot and suggest we go get a shot and then approach them. I agree. We get the shot and come back. However, I am hesitant to approach. Odie leaves to look for my other friend so they can approach the two cuties.
So I'm standing there with my co-worker's friend, we'll call her Jan. Jan's grooving to the music and I'm trying to act cool, slightly grooving to the music too. Then, the cutie's friend says something to Jan. Jan looks at me and says "she says not to be so shy".
"What?" I say
"she says not to be so shy" Jan repeats.
Great! They can tell I'm shy! The flight response of moving to the back of the club kicked in, and I almost left but I chose to respond.
With a smile I tell Jan "calling me out on being shy is making me more shy".
I then turn to the cutie's friend and with a smile I say "you calling me out for being shy is making me more shy".
She kinda of smiles. I also say I'm not much of a dancer, in which she responded "just pretend there's nobody here watching"
I take her hand and ask her name. I next take the opportunity to exchange names with the cutie! (we'll keep calling her cutie). I then slide in between the girls and start to get my 'freak' on! I would dance facing one and then turn around and face the other. I then decided to dance facing mainly the cutie because she was the one I was into. Thankfully, Odie came by and started dancing with the other girl because I wasn't sure how long I could keep them both entertained.
"You know your real cute" I say to the cutie
she says "thanks"
We start dancing real close. My face gets real close to her face at times, my hands are on her hips, and at other times on her back. I would look right into her eyes. I felt like we were vibing great on the dance floor.
After awhile, Odie and cutie's friend go to the bar to get a drink. Cutie and I stay on the dance floor for a little while longer then take a break. We sit at a table. I think this is where I F'd up Big. I asked if she was a student, she said she was a graduate student and she tells me what she wants to do. I told her what I did for work. Then it got around to me telling her I'm a homebody. She said she was too and then asked what I did on the weekends. I got stuck. I didn't want to tell her, or anyone for that matter, I've been working on getting over my social anxiety and mainly my anxiety of meeting and talking to women. And I also didn't want to tell her I was broke so I stay home a lot. So I said "I don't want to turn you off"
she said "it's ok" and now she's really waiting for an answer.
So I told her that I play a lot of video games and order a lot of pizza.
WoW! right?
I then followed up by telling her that I've had a lot of pipe dreams. I tried to play basketball overseas, I went to film school and lived in L.A., and most recently I tried becoming a professional poker player. Then, I told her right now I'm in limbo.
Our conversation wasn't really playful at all and I think I turned her off with my video games and pizza answer, not to mention I was being interviewish and I listed a bunch of failures and basically told her I was currently doing nothing.
Anyways, we end up on the dance floor again and things seem to take off from where we left off. But then cutie and her friend had to leave to catch a train, so I asked if I could get her number. She hesitated for a while. I then asked if she had a boyfriend, thinking this was the reason for her hesitation.
She said "I just don't know what I want from this".
Man, I love her honest answer. Also, I know I fucked up because she wasn't very willing regardless of the way we danced together.
I then say she can take mine in case she ever wanted to talk. And with my phone in my hand she ends up punching in her number. I dial her number so she can have it in her phone. She later confirms that she got it.
Odie tells me that we're gonna walk them to the train. On the way to the train, Odie and cutie's friend are in front of us and they are hitting it off pretty good. They don't stop talking and they're making casual plans to go to a restaurant. Meanwhile, me and cutie are basically just following them listening. We mention things here and there to each other but we don't really converse. We make it to the train and say our goodbyes.
The next day I am happy I got to dance with cutie and get her number. Yet I feel this pressure that I should text her. I'm not sure why. So I type up this text:
"had a great time at the club... and dancing with you was kinda of cool too ;)"
I get unbelievably nervous about pushing send. I end up pushing send.
I get no response. after a while I check the text I sent and for some reason I only sent the last two words of my text.
"too ;)"
I'm thinking I should leave it at that.
Any comments, suggestions or links to articles I should check out?
Thanks for taking the time.
-Slimm
