Approach Forum » Sexual Escalation, Dating and Relationships

1. honeyoak
   Member

   I need some advice on getting this girl. she works in another building in the hospital that i work at(we are both summer students). We complete research "projects" that entail a get together about once a week(for the last 3). I have gamed this girl very tightly (certainly better than anything she would get at her engineering focused uni- the girl to guy ratio is 1 to 3-4) and I am certain that she quite likes me. the thing is that before the occurrence of our first date (which she confirmed with no hesitation), her mother broke her hip (this has been confirmed to be true). she canceled the date after I called her about some logistical issues(my sister needs the car and drops me off at work now) saying that she take needed to care of her mother and that her entire family is working (more "I am busy" talk). she said that she would email me about rescheduling for next week.I am really worried about this for a few reasons:
   1) i really like this girl and think that this develop into a LTR (I am a bit picky about LTR's so this means alot to me) and i know that she likes me so i dont want to mess this up
   2) I could be loosing vital momentum
   3) I could be put into the despised "friend" category
   4) negging is not as effective on her as other girls (part of the attraction)
   5) in retrospect I wasn't as sensitive about her mothers condition as i could be (this is a known problem of mine)

   I know that game is telling to sit down and be quiet but my instincts are running wild. I want to tell her about how being busy is no excuse, and maybe she is not as interested as she thought (I dont want to go down this road as I may loose her). Should I propose to meet her at her house for scrabble (sexuality killer?) or something else? I am not sure how to make a comeback or neg at her for the situation without sounding like a total insensitive jerk. Another thing is this busy talk. I know it is important for game but I am getting tired of this. being "busy" just seems to push plans to the future than getting me what I want.

   Any advice would be great,
   cheers, honeyoak

   Posted 2 months ago

2. Eric Disco
   Host

   I want to tell her about how being busy is no excuse, and maybe she is not as interested as she thought.

   Terrible idea.

   Should I propose to meet her at her house for scrabble (sexuality killer?) or something else?

   The choice of meeting at her house is not a bad idea. But it is a bad idea to propose again to hang out with her when she said she's busy.

   Another thing is this busy talk. I know it is important for game but I am getting tired of this. being "busy" just seems to push plans to the future than getting me what I want.

   She's telling you something when she says she's busy. Most likely it means that you didn't game her as "tightly" as you thought you did or that you fucked it up somehow.

   You should not propose another meeting if she says she's busy.

   You: Hey, let's hang out on Thursday. There's this great bar. blah blah blah.

   Her: Oooh. I can't on Thursday.

   At this point, if she doesn't suggest another day, you do not start throwing out other days. If she's interested, she'll mention another day.

   My suggestion is this. You have some other leverage here. You see her once a week. Keep gaming her there. Get her to come to you a little bit more and then try to make the move again.

   So when you see her in this group acknowledge her initially but then give her zero eye contact. Make her come to you. Flirt and talk with everyone in the group but her. Be playful and outgoing with everyone, including the guys. Remember, she's attracted to you for your confidence. You can display that to just as much, and sometimes more, in the way that you interact with other people. Sometimes it's even more powerful because you're not trying to impress her with your confidence.

   And when she does come to you, be very fun and playful with her. Be a very cool guy. Do not be negative at all or sulk. If she's not responsive to "negs" then be playful in a more fun way. Use cocky funny. Get her into role-plays.

   Once you do start to move things forward with her, you can continue to use the your research project. But turn the obstacle into an opportunity. Say things like "We should hang out but we definitely can't date. It would be bad to date someone in your research group."

   Eric

   Posted 2 months ago

3. honeyoak
   Member

   Thanks alot Eric. I am usually oaky with 95% of girls that I interact with but that 5% makes me question (do men have rationalization hamsters too?) all that I have learned from knowledgeable folk such as yourself. luckily I am smart enough now that I default to neutral when confronted with a situation like above (as opposed to going all beta on her) and cannot think of anything stupid that I did to this one. I just am finding it frustrating that my skills have improved such that I can end up sleeping with girls that I have no interest in (not necessarily uglier by a objective measure), while the girls that I go for always give me trouble.

   honeyoak

   Posted 2 months ago

4. Eric Disco
   Host

   When you really like a girl, she will inevitably leave you feeling a bit off balance. That's okay. That's a good thing. That's what you've been practicing for. That's when you need to keep your head about you and trust in what you've already been doing. This is why we practice so much, so you'll be ready when that great girl does come along.

   Eric

   Posted 2 months ago

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.