http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ Approach Forum: Last 35 Posts en Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:46:48 +0000 http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=385#post-1701 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:05:22 +0000 Aikuzo 1701@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Im still on the stage of asking time/direction, but Im getting used already even on asking time on group of "hot girls" , do you guys have any ideas of other variation/ or things I can ask to a stranger to add more pressure into it or do I really need to start on the scary stuff (saying "Hi")? Any ideas guys? </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=390#post-1700 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 04:38:02 +0000 wwbaker3 1700@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Man, I'm having some issues attracting the right girls...</p> <p>Currently due to my "hard to get" persona I've been getting girls that put up bitch-fronts and end up being insecure, low self-esteem individuals. Seems like they only react to guys that treat them poorly and banter to death with them.</p> <p>Sure, they're attractive and shouldn't have issues with their bodies (yes, I can attest to that) but I believe that they carry more baggage than it's worth the trouble.</p> <p>I've had experience being "nice" in the past and all I got was friendliness and no sexual tension. However, after I reinvented myself I've been getting all the ass and girls possible with my "funny/cocky" extroverted personality and it's certainly been different than the not-so-distant-past.</p> <p>So to sum it up, all of the ones I'm attracting now have issues with poor self-image and thus are not LTR material. It seems that my new persona doesn't work on girls that are extremely social, confident, and independent.</p> <p>What am I doing wrong?</p> <p>Help! </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=389#post-1699 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 03:19:19 +0000 nonstop 1699@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>I tell myself: "You don't like her, you only want to say hi to her"</p> <p>And if I can convince myself, I can do it, because technically, I 'don't' want her... But then I have a mental thing where I no longer am attracted to her because of it...</p> <p>Don't think about it as picking up on them, think about it as just talking and saying hi. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=389#post-1698 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:36:28 +0000 Miggy 1698@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Happened to me probably 3 times when I was out. Everytime I'm about to open, I freeze and freak out mentally,lol. Seriously I got pissed of several time because of this. I really liked those girls, especially the last one....mmmmm nice tits.</p> <p>Anyone got some mantra they repeat on their heads or something when they're about to open? </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=383#post-1697 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:32:07 +0000 Miggy 1697@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>"Hows the weather up there?" - opens up some interesting conversation. hahahaha </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=388#post-1696 Sun, 07 Sep 2008 20:57:37 +0000 stev111 1696@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Swiching from singing out loud I high fived someone passing by and they high fived back :&gt;</p> <p>btw what does it mean when a girl is passing you on the street and she totally looks the other direction and gazes at something the other side of the road. I mean when I had acute AA/SA I even acknowledged the passer-by with a quick glimpse and a smile I wasn't completely rude </p> <p>stev111 </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1695 Sun, 07 Sep 2008 20:47:06 +0000 Francis 1695@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hi Aikuzo,</p> <p>thanks for the reply. I'm sorry, my first post must have made me sound like a sex hungry fiend. I don't go out and approach expecting to get laid. I really do like being in the presence of women and chatting to them. Just yesterday I was in an hour conversation with a woman on the bench (approaches/chats are getting longer), and even though I had no intention or attraction for her, I deeply enjoyed being in her feminine presence.</p> <p>I do realise that I'm getting way better at this, and I agree all this impatience and negativity will just slow me down.</p> <p>My rant was just one of insecurity, I was just so fed up of doing all these approaches and not being able to secure a close. I know I shouldn't be thinking this, but eventually we all want to meet and date women. That's what we're here for.</p> <p>Thanks</p> <p>Francis </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=222#post-1694 Sun, 07 Sep 2008 20:14:48 +0000 MadCoyote 1694@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>one of the biggest things that has helped me out socially is to just let go of my ego sometimes I haft to remind myself sometimes. I don't know if it works with pick up but it does give people an oportunity to connect with me better and I have noticed that my current social and proffesional relationships have gotten better from it. I try to just model myself after people that are laid back, and easy going. A few things these people do is they: Listen more then talk, laugh at themselves and they don't try to hide their vulnrebilities in other words they don't try to give an illusion they are perfect but they don't think they are losers cause they are good at somethings just like every one else. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1693 Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:27:34 +0000 Aikuzo 1693@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Francis my man..... try to appreciate women and don't go out there w/ the soul purpose of getting laid, the only goal were supposed to have when we go out is to start a conversation, things are going to happen naturally you dont have to try too hard, just believe change will naturally HAPPEN wheter you like it or not this way. </p> <p>It doesnt matter wheter their receptive or not, as long as you say atleast the line "Can I ask the time?", its huge thing,even if they look at you bad or watever, tell yourself "It's good, I did good, the only goal is to say it and I did it so its good" , repeat this on your mind until your negative thoughts shut off. </p> <p>Our impatience and negative just slow us down, its like putting more energy in lesser result</p> <p>Your impatience is just making your fast progress slow right now and base on your words, I recommend you to read some materials of Zan Perrion on the internet. I know we're doing "pick ups" but its a very powerful mindset to feel "emphaty" towards women, love and respect them no matter what the outcome is, this is probably the best I could say.</p> <p>Best way to understand it is to find a really nice girl to connect w/ that will turn you on because of her feminity and inner attractiveness, not just her outer looks. </p> <p>If you want someone to talk to we can chat up on IM, just let me know man.... We can do all this together! Im not there yet but I'll try things as best as I can, but anything else dont quit! </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=387#post-1692 Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:44:19 +0000 Aikuzo 1692@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Awwww damn! Im on my 3rd day of "what's your time?" for my AA and this morning before going to Walmart for work , I read a post in the Home site about the type of "voice" you use and "When small talk is Big". Anywayz I tried to change my tone from very formal to "I am your very close friend" voice today and damnnnnn!!!! I had a blast! For me, things became sooo easyyy, more effective, it feels more good! I tried it on anyone - strangers, my co-workers xD, my boss and I was so happy that they are so comfortable openning up to me like it never been before, and the most important thing is atlast I feel like Im really being "me!". It's like sending a signal "I being myself around you and I trust you so it's cool.... dont worry you can do the same" kinda vibe I think that makes them comfortable around me too. I still got long way to go but I feel like I just killed a very big weakness &#38; I was so happy I dunno how to thank you Eric for this HUGE HUGE impact you'd made me (but pls dont ask me for money haha!)xDD, I'll keep posting here again to keep you track of my progress to I'll be talking to you soon man! Thanks again!! xD.</p> <p>-Aikuzo</p> <p>P.S. Could somebody who knows the post about the "familiar voice" Im talking about show me where it is on the Home page, I lost the page and cant find it back Lolz. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1691 Sat, 06 Sep 2008 17:36:56 +0000 Marcello 1691@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>I wish I knew.<br /> I have spent the last three months tackling street approaches. On one hand I can approach more, in more situations and with less hesitation. On the other my inner game keeps getting worse due to the constant barrage of rejections and lack of any positive tangible results (no dates, no sex and nothing of pleasurable). I am going to see a psychologist starting next week to see if there is some way to deal with negative self talk. Next maybe I will enrol in a gymn, even if I am actually reasonably fit as it is.<br /> I have been going at this for years, as a matter of fact for more than most people have taken to go from chump to being able to make a living teaching this stuff, and definitively it is not a pleasant way of living. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=293#post-1690 Sat, 06 Sep 2008 15:22:30 +0000 Elvis 1690@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Same here some girls do eye contact, some don't but what Eric says is true. I also don't think intense eye contact is good for approach you seem too interested.</p> <p>Some times women realize you a mile away and they are already fixing their hair or cloth. Some even see you in your car and start grooming. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=372#post-1689 Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:01:16 +0000 vandersteen 1689@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <blockquote><p>sorry, i don't know what city your from but I find the reverse is a lot more common..women can be very cruel when they reject men,especially in a club or similar scene. I'm sure the scene you described does happen,but women get approached way more than men,especially if they're attractive,they become so jaded to it they react badly automatically,not to mention inflating their egos.</p> </blockquote> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=386#post-1688 Sat, 06 Sep 2008 05:02:14 +0000 Aikuzo 1688@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hello guys, this is the post that I made yesterday on Natural Game Forum but I would really like to share it w/ you for your motivation and your own amusement as well xD. </p> <p>Hi guys, I only usually talk to my female friends, co-workers but last night I decided that today Im gonna start working on it so let me share it w/ you. Man.... I tried my best.... I started w/ the "Can I ask for the time?" today w/c I managed to ask 25 people I think but boy, I dont expect crazy stuff happens lol. People are way nicer, I think in 25 there's only one that's not friendly and we ended up in an awkward conversation, do I blame myself? my auto-pilot mind yes but I keep telling my self "It's ok, the point is to just talk to her, you did it so its cool" over and over so its alright. </p> <p>But the rest are crazy, there's one cute girl on the library that look like who work there Im trying to call couple of step ahead of me and Im like "Excuseee meee, excuseee meeee, oh miss excuse meeee" xD , she turns to me and say "Wwwhaaattt do youuu neeeed?" then she smiled lol. And there's a very friendly girl in the restaurant counter that I ended up talking for 5 mins after I ask what they serve on the restaurant, she ask me if Im spanish because that's what she thought of her ex before and it goes on and on. </p> <p>Im just happy that this stuff happens on my very first day naturally w/ just the simple rule "Just try your best, dont worry about the outcome", and I just want to say that it just feels so damn different and good XD to take care of things that "really" matter to you.</p> <p>- I made this post yesterday and I just came back home now from my 2nd day, the day's gone by and I try my best to ask for "time" for 1 1/2 hr , and to my 6 hr walmart shift whereever I had a chance to see some girl or some group of girls ^^ , I did it at all times that I lost my count already lol, anywayz Im having fun wish me luck too thx. </p> <p>- Aikuzo </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=328#post-1687 Sat, 06 Sep 2008 04:54:29 +0000 Aikuzo 1687@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Oh god Im not doing this stuff and now that Im imagining it, it is so damn powerful. Im not sure if its like Zan Perrion's "They are all your girls" or Johny's "Treat all the women as if their your lovers" but I'll try this tomorrow! I will probably be back to tell you how it works out and ask you some questions, thank you Iger. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=328#post-1686 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 22:51:16 +0000 iger55 1686@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hi man, good to you. "DumbAssLover" - what I meant here is behaving like her lover, letting her imagine she can have sex EASILY with you, physically escalating and behaving like a dumbass as well. What I ment is being bold in your escalation and if she critisize you, you just behave like you didn't do anything wrong, you can smile to her, hug her playfully, or something like that. So, it's something personal meaning and I'm not sure I completely express it in words here, but hope you understand it a bit more now. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=385#post-1685 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:03:46 +0000 lordt78 1685@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Maybe start asking girls to touch your nipple and tell them you've shaved it and it's really nice. Most girls will run away but it's a level beyond asking for directions. :) </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=385#post-1684 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:35:59 +0000 nonstop 1684@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Try to find out something interesting and unique about that person.</p> <p>Not "what do you do for work/fun?" but something genuine.... ie, if you met me on the street and asked "what do you do for fun?" to me, I would say something like "I go to the beach, mountain bike, and play games". But that's a generic bland answer, and kind of a lie.</p> <p>A more genuine answer would be, I like to bodysurf.. or I play online games with my friends at LAN parties etc. Something a little past the surface is what you're looking for.</p> <p>dig deeper, more genuine. You no longer want to say hi, you want to say hi, and find out a little more about who you're talking to. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=385#post-1683 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:28:02 +0000 Aikuzo 1683@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hello guys I tried asking for time/directions to people and It's starting to get too easy now. I want to put a little bit more "pressure" but saying "I just had to come and say Hi" is still too much for me for now. I just need your suggestions..... thanks. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1682 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 19:50:33 +0000 Francis 1682@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hey Derek,</p> <p>she already hinted in our conversation that she had no friends deliberately. She was at a point in her life she was sorting things out and was spending a lot of time alone. It didn't bother me because frankly I didn't want to date her. I asked to keep in touch because she was a cool girl and we had great chat.</p> <p>I do agree with you though, I am definitely much closer than I was before. A year ago I never thought I could meet and chat with women like I do now. As I said I just don't know how to evolve and start getting numbers. I'm just frustrated not dating or having women in my life. I've never picked up someone before, I've always relied on my social circle in the past.</p> <p>I just have no clue when this shift will happen. How long must force myself out to do at least approach saying "hi".</p> <p>Francis </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=384#post-1681 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 19:16:25 +0000 stev111 1681@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>o.k. well I can easily ask for the time, i'm always the first to say hello to every stranger and I have started conversations before and have done some social convention breakers like sing out loud (*giggles*).</p> <p>I can maintain eye-contact with women, smile and when I get to know women I'm not afraid of innuendos (although again that depends on how well I know them). I think my biggest obstacle is just starting talking to women who I don't know but I would like to know just how to tap into deeper level "alpha male" stuff when I'm making friends aswel.....jess I'm greedy :&gt;</p> <p>Thanks </p> <p>stev111 </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1680 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:49:41 +0000 Derek 1680@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Alright, I guess it surprised me that she refused. I'm not that experienced either and just recently got my first phone number and date from pickup. I guess I dont have much to say other than you are likely much closer than you think. I'm sure you know this statement wont be true. "I feel I can be approaching for another 2 years and still wont be dating." </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=366#post-1679 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:46:25 +0000 Aikuzo 1679@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>But seriously man is there a reason behind you wearing a watch? </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=384#post-1678 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:31:17 +0000 Aikuzo 1678@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hello Stev, if you starting fresh best start is to read the AA ebook but if you want, elaborate us where you are in the "game" so we can give you more personalized advice. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1677 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:09:11 +0000 Francis 1677@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Well to be honest Derek, I'm not getting dates. That's the point about this post, I'm finding it hard to transition from the friendly stranger to dating them.</p> <p>The girl who I chatted to for 2 hours said politely that she was not in the stage of her life to meet new people, so refused giving contact info even just to hang out.</p> <p>Francis </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=381#post-1676 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:52:53 +0000 Derek 1676@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>yeah I'm sad summer is ending :( I plan to start going to bookstores mainly. I tried street approaches too and had a tough time. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1675 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:24:09 +0000 Derek 1675@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>you make it sound like you arent getting dates, what happened with the girl you talked with for two hours? </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=384#post-1674 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:10:05 +0000 stev111 1674@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Soon I will be going away to start university.</p> <p>Could you guys give me any help, advice and tips on how to be the "Alpha male" and approach girls.</p> <p>Thank you </p> <p>stev111 </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=381#post-1673 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:11:12 +0000 iger55 1673@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Yeah, wwbaker3's advice is good, I think. In a couple of months I will meet the same problem either, but it's okay, as we can meet women everywhere actually. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=383#post-1672 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:36:06 +0000 Francis 1672@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Zed,</p> <p>at the moment I'm totally into this guy, you may know of him from David DeAngelo's material</p> <p>Sean Stephenson<br /> <a href="http://www.innergamemagazine.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.innergamemagazine.com/</a></p> <p>he's a therapist and motivational speaker and I'm getting into his podcasts.</p> <p>Look at him, he's 3 foot, disabled guy in wheelchair and gets girls. He has defended that it's not because of him being successful at his business and getting money it's because his inner game is 'bulletproof', he is witty and knows how to click with women. He just believes he can.</p> <p>You have stated before you're a good looking guy who is successful and you seem like a cool well adjusted man. We all know women don't judge us on looks the way we judge them. I'm sure you a cool guy, show her this and she's not even going to think twice about your height. I've seen countless short fat guys with taller model looking girls and they cant all be rich. They and especially Sean Stephenson are proof it can be done.</p> <p>Good luck.</p> <p>Francis </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=381#post-1671 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:28:43 +0000 Francis 1671@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>I heard that in the UK we will have an Indian summer (sort of like unusual sunshine and good weather) this autumn/winter, so the weather will be ok at times, but this has made me realise that we are heading into winter period now. It's certainly going downhill and means tactics will have to change for next few months. :( </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1670 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:28:04 +0000 Zed 1670@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Francis, you ARE getting better at this. Think about the positives. A few months ago you could not approach that much yet now you can approach more easily and talk to girls for longer. </p> <p>I know the feeling of frustration of wanting to get this done quickly - but don't worry. Keep approaching. Try different styles, e.g., go direct if you are getting bored with indirect openers. </p> <p>I'm convinced that if we stick to this for a few more months we will all start seeing some results. </p> <p>Hang in there bro! </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=383#post-1669 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:07:59 +0000 Zed 1669@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Guys, I have this thing at the moment where I just don't approach girls that are taller than me. Unfortunately I'm only 5'6 so a lot of girls are taller than me. I feel physically attracted to them - but just think in my head that a woman will not be interested in hooking up with a guy who is shorter than her.<br /> How do I get past this? Have you guys been successful with women who were taller than you?<br /> I had a chance to approach a cute girl at the supermarket but didn't because she was taller than me and I thought she wouldn't be attracted. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=381#post-1668 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:02:16 +0000 Zed 1668@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>I know Francis, the weather around where I am based is dreadful right now as well. But hopefully it will improve soon. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=382#post-1667 Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:50:00 +0000 Francis 1667@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hey Eric and everyone,</p> <p>I've been thinking lately: when exactly does one get better? I know this is a silly question to ask as there is no direct answer to suit everybody. But I've been wondering since April I've been getting out there and approached many girls, if not every single day, it's been often...I'm much confident now approaching women and I'm starting to get into deeper longer conversations, I spoke to a girl in park for 2 hours about life and spirituality which shocked me, but still have a long way to go I feel. But when can one say his is ready? To be honest I can be approaching daily until next April and still not feel ready. The real question is what are we waiting for? What are we waiting for the right before we can start dating women we meet?</p> <p>I'm just getting bored of these daily approaches now, I'm not meeting the type of women I want and having friendly conversations with them is not what I want to do forever. I don't want to be just another friendly stranger, if I see hot girl, I want to approach her and openly flirt, no nice guy bullshit, I want to flirt with her so openly and blatantly and go for a close whether I get it or not, but I don't believe I can do this. This is a bit of a rant post I know, I'm just losing patience with all this. I do have much praise for the one approach a day method and loved the eBook but, BOY, I'm feeling very hormonal (also a little lonely) and asking directions or chatting to women who I'm not going to date or fuck is really irritating me. </p> <p>Guys can I get your personal views on these questions:</p> <p>1. What are you waiting for to be right in order to get to where you want to be?</p> <p>2. How will you know you're there?</p> <p>3. What is your goal?</p> <p>When I ask myself these questions, I can't come up with anything concrete. I feel I can be approaching for another 2 years and still wont be dating. I just don't know how to evolve my approaches away from Mr friendly stranger who was "...on his way to meet friend, but wanted to say hi", to Mr flirt who wants opens very direct with intention, date her, and/or fuck her hard. </p> <p>Sometimes it feels like women don't want to be approached, date a stranger they met on the street or even have sexual encounters with them, but I've been around guys who have made it happen, but can't work out how. I know girls do want to be approached, dated and fucked even when they act like they don't, but I just have not got a clue how to unlock it.</p> <p>I'm losing patience.</p> <p>Francis </p>