http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ Approach Forum » Recent Posts en Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:26:09 +0000 http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1115#post-5035 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:47:41 +0000 itouch82 5035@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Eric you so right sometimes i dont know how much i should go out and how many approaches i should do but your right<br /> So the first time I did the social freedom excersices i get form 0 to 180 like 60 points my state was amazing it was like i had fun that i didnt hava a long time.(I did the monnwalkthat was fun) The second time I got 30 point the last time i did it was 18 so i have to push harder because i know that i can do it<br /> But you are totally right I cant start to do 20 approaches if you sometimes approach i did today 6 approaches direct next time maybe more </p> <p>I love Brad P. s Style of Gaming it is really fun but i dont know if its working in Germany i tried like 10 times i know its not a lot the horse girl opener in german but most time if i ask do you like horses they say no at the beginning how should i respond to that </p> <p>I eject myself after the direct opener because it many times dont hook or dont have to say anything </p> <p>But my question is how much time do you recommend to go out and how many approaches? and How do you get balls of steel?Is it important to have an trainer (instructor) or wing?</p> <p>Mystery said 4 nights for 4 hours 49 approaches or Sinn everyday 7 approaches<br /> Brad P. says 30 a month</p> <p>Thanks Eric thanks for this forum </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1115#post-5034 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 18:12:29 +0000 Eric Disco 5034@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <blockquote><p>so im trying to get 20 blowouts now everyday </p></blockquote> <p>I like your determination. That will get you far. But it can also hinder you.</p> <p>Let's say you want to run a marathon. But you've never run before. </p> <p>A marathon seems really far. 26 miles! You've never done any long distance running. But if you're going to get up to 26 miles, you're going to have to run a lot.</p> <p>So the first day you decide to do 10 miles. You go out and start running. Somehow, using all your determination, you make it through the ten miles.</p> <p>The next day you are very sore but you are determined. So you go out and do it again. You can only get up to 4 miles.</p> <p>So you push yourself even harder. </p> <p>"I'm going to do 15 miles every day next week," you tell yourself.</p> <p>By the end of the week your body is telling you to FUCK OFF.</p> <p>You may even be injured. Your muscles hurt all the time. You hate running.</p> <p>This is not where you want to be.</p> <p>It takes a *long time* to become a marathoner. It also takes a long time to get good with women.</p> <p>Start slow. Be okay with doing easy things. Push yourself out of your comfort zone, but don't push yourself so hard that you get frustrated and hate this.</p> <p>I love Brad P. I subscribe to almost everything he teaches. He was my first instructor and I even did some assistant coaching for him.</p> <p>But I don't subscribe to his social freedom exercise. I think it pushes guys too far out of their comfort zone too fast.</p> <p>If you do manage to go out and do what he wants (a.k.a. run 10 miles) the next day you will not only be right back where you started, but your body will hate you for it.</p> <p>Take the exercises and do a little bit at a time. Train your body like you would for a marathon. Start off running a mile or two every day for the first two weeks, then move up to three miles. Then four. Then six. </p> <p>Build yourself up slowly. It's the only way you will truly enjoy this and truly build your confidence.</p> <p>Eric </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1115#post-5033 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:21:36 +0000 itouch82 5033@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>So from social anxiety to social freedom 0----180<br /> i have one time 64<br /> second time 30<br /> third time 18</p> <p>but one of my friend who is really good said to me :, Just do it!!,<br /> so im trying to get 20 blowouts now everyday And do the how to beat aa program too</p> <p>never I will give up </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1117#post-5032 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:08:58 +0000 Eric Disco 5032@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Both you guys are right on. It's good to have something prepared to say, particularly if it lowers your anxiety.</p> <p>You may also want to practice going in sometimes unprepared as well when you get more comfortable. Sometimes that can put you more in the moment.</p> <p>Eric </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1117#post-5031 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 04:24:43 +0000 nonstop 5031@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Routines are good in the beginning, so long as you don't get too stuck on the words (ie: repeating it exactly). Routines are meant to be guides so that you don't think about what you're saying so much and are able to relax.</p> <p>It's good to have something to say: a funny story, something she's interested in, etc.. but the words aren't as important so much as how you make her feel when she's around you. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1117#post-5030 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 02:41:16 +0000 -Humz- 5030@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>The title basically explains itself.. But the main question is</p> <p>Isnt it better to have something prepared as you open a set? </p> <p>I completely understand Eric's opener ("just wanted to say hi"), but after you are able to successfully open with it, what do you do? There's a big chance might blank out.</p> <p>I heard/read (can't remember) Eric telling his story about perfumes. He explained how he opened a lot of girls with it and every time he'd add in a little more to his story. It is safe to say that it became somewhat of a routine.</p> <p>In the pickup community there are a bunch of levels of seduction. Opening, transition, demonstrating higher value while bantering, kino, rapport... and so on.. all of which must be done through some sort of communication.</p> <p>This is a site about approach anxiety, but part of this anxiety comes from not having anything to say. In my opinion having somewhat of a routine fixes that.</p> <p>what do you guys think?</p> <p>Feel free to comment.</p> <p>-Humz- </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1115#post-5029 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:35:53 +0000 peice 5029@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>It takes a while my man. Slowly try to break outside of your comfort zone, like jman said. The best way to start is to just get out there! Walk up to attractive women, sit beside them on the bus.... you don't need to talk to them! Your body just needs to get acquainted with this feeling. Eric has said this countless times. Start small but always try to improve no matter if you see a difference or not. You and I have a long life to live... why such the hurry? :) </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1115#post-5028 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:10:26 +0000 jman179 5028@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <br /> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1115#post-5027 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:10:26 +0000 jman179 5027@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>This site's a great place to come to for that. Absorb Eric's articles on here and ask us questions, its a great resource. The biggest point is to stick with it and get out of your comfort zone one small step at a time, don't give up. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1115#post-5025 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:29:45 +0000 itouch82 5025@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>First of all Im living in Germany.I have plenty of time and for most time I end at 3.30 pm. So I started this community stuff from july 2009 and I really approached a lot at beginning my first classmate became my girlfriend but i didnt have sex with her I think because of my sexuall anxiety. Then I lost her she said "I shame for you".So I am still a virgin. So I try now or want to approach but I dont I go somewhere else and excuse but I cant approach I think if i am approaching im social ackward but in my opinion I am already socially ackward. I have this "How to beat approach anxiety" from Brad P. but I cant go nowhere with this. So please help me what other ways are to defaet approach or in my case i think it is social anyiety. </p> <p>Thanks </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1113#post-5024 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:36:27 +0000 Eric Disco 5024@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <blockquote><p>If she suggests trying again, should I say no, walk away and just find someone else?</p></blockquote> <p>People will say anything. But what really matters is their actions. I hold very little stock in the words that women say. </p> <p>A girl could say "Oh my god, I miss you so much and want to see you again." And I'll tell her I miss her too. But until we've actually made concrete plans--and she follows through with those plans--her words are close to meaningless for me.</p> <p>If this girl says she wants to see you again, then you can go along with it. But don't put too much mental energy into it until you're actually out with her. There's no point.</p> <p>Don't talk on the phone to her too much. Just move the conversation to when the two of you are meeting up. Try to stay off chat as well other than a bit of back and forth and moving on to actually seeing each other.</p> <p>Eric </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1114#post-5023 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 23:05:01 +0000 thatnewguy 5023@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>thx </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1114#post-5022 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:01:46 +0000 Francis 5022@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hey new guy check out Eric's post</p> <p><a href="http://approachanxiety.com/?p=63" rel="nofollow">http://approachanxiety.com/?p=63</a></p> <p>I think he's got another one somewhere on the subject but there's a lot you can do to overcome your height.</p> <p>Good luck</p> <p>Francis </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1114#post-5021 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 04:11:19 +0000 thatnewguy 5021@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>i admit i have anxiety issues and blah blah... but the second thing that makes me wuss out on approaching women is my height. i'm only 5 ft 2 :( and i'm 20 by the way. there are probably girls that i can go for that are shorter than me but some girls that are taller than me just attracts me so i need some advice on how to get over my height issues. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1113#post-5020 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 21:01:38 +0000 -Humz- 5020@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>whoah! Awesome insight Eric, Thanks! It all makes such perfect sense now.</p> <p>I will work on my rapport skills and by the way, thanks for the kudos ramakandra and Eric. Afterall, and like I said, she was my first and when I got into this I knew I was gonna fuck it up. I was ready to walk away at any moment. I even mentioned that to her (the walking away part), and she would cling on even more whenever I said it (cat string theory?).</p> <p>She's behind me now, but last question about this matter.</p> <p>If she suggests trying again, should I say no, walk away and just find someone else?</p> <p>Thanks again, that cleared my head so much.</p> <p>Cheers,</p> <p>Humz </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1113#post-5019 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:13:25 +0000 ramakandra 5019@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Eric made smart comments here - we both agree however that you did a great service to yourself. Further, you had a good attitude and smile the entire way. Very tough to get guys to be excited and happy for what they are embarking on, so kudos to the behavior you kept. With a few minor tweaks in your timing and conversation themes you will be unstoppable. Best of luck! </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1113#post-5018 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:41:22 +0000 Eric Disco 5018@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hey Man,</p> <p>You did a lot of things right. And what ramakandra said was pretty good.</p> <p>I'll give you a little more feedback on some things that stood out to me that could have been better.</p> <blockquote><p>She calls me every single day after that for about a week and a half, we end up going out for the first time on Saturday of the following week. </p></blockquote> <p>This is a red flag to me. You really don't want to put so much relationship building in without actually seeing her in person. If there are some limitations, like she's long distance, than that can be okay. But particularly before you've hooked up with her, this is very dangerous and usually not so good. You'll want to see her within a few days and keep the conversation light.</p> <p>The reason for this is because she gets validated the relationship stuff. That stuff is good and necessary, but when there is no direct physical intimacy involved, you are building a weak romantic foundation and pushing it toward friendship. It seems like you kept things going with banter, which is fine, but talking every day without even hooking up is probably not the best thing to do.</p> <blockquote><p>I try to get her talking about herself but she wouldn't speak, so I end up telling more of my stories to keep the night interesting. </p></blockquote> <p>Another red flag. This is a tough situation, but it's imperative that you find out things about her so you can appreciate her as a person. if not, she feels like you like her for her looks or you don't really know her too well.</p> <p>If this is happening with a lot of girls where they don't share things about themselves, you may want to brush up on your rapport skills. Your attraction skills seem strong, but you need to get her to reveal. </p> <blockquote><p>After I got on the bus she calls and stays on the phone with me for 30 more mins. (wow.) </p></blockquote> <p>I feel like this is where you need to lead things as a guy. All this phone conversation is problematic. It shows that she's not willing to talk/get involved in person. Plus, if she's this interested, you should in some way leverage this to get her to talk about herself.</p> <blockquote><p>I ask her at one point "what are we doing here? Are we having fun or is there something more?" </p></blockquote> <p>I can see why you brought this up if she's not sharing very much about herself. But at this point you have very little leverage to have a "talk" with her. You've already validated her in so many ways by talking on the phone with her when she wants. You gave her what she wants. </p> <p>Even if you felt the way you did above, I find that "talks" tend to be counter-productive. You probably would have been better off pulling away a little bit and then seeing where she's at.</p> <blockquote><p>Then I ask "So I'm your boyfriend now?" And she answers with "Are you saying you're not?" I answer with "well, okay I'm your boyfriend but I still know nothing about you, but hopefully that's gonna change this friday" She says okay. </p></blockquote> <p>This exchange right here is just not good. Firstly, you don't want to be her boyfriend until you've gotten physically intimate, more than just making out. But then to agree to be her boyfriend and admit that you know nothing about her brings your value down A LOT. You basically told her that you're willing to be her boyfriend just because you're attracted to and not because you like her as a person. That makes her feel very unspecial and makes you look really easy and needy.</p> <blockquote><p>she IM's me with "I need to talk to you" Then says "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" and "I think it's cause I'm not over my ex yet". </p></blockquote> <p>I think the ex thing was just an excuse. It may or may not have been true, but this girl was really into you at the start. You did a lot of right things, but moving into relationship territory you took some missteps. True, if she wasn't sharing about herself, there may have been something wrong with this from the start. But offering to be her boyfriend when she was probably just joking about it is sort of a problem.</p> <p>In the future, I would simply keep the communication to a minimum between the time you meet her and your first date. You don't want long phone calls and IM chats. You want to be a little bit scarce. </p> <p>I would also wait until you've slept together or at least had some physical intimacy beyond kissing before there's any talk of boyfriend/girlfriend.</p> <p>Beyond that, this was a great interaction and you should be really proud of yourself. </p> <p>Cheers!</p> <p>Eric </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1113#post-5017 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:50:51 +0000 -Humz- 5017@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Thank you so much ramakandra, that was some great stuff.</p> <p>A couple of things though, whenever I asked her about previous relationships, she responded with "I'd rather tell you in person, hehe and i'd probably forget by then" It was like she didn't wanna mention anything about it. So there was no way for me to find out she just got out of a relationship. Not to mention, she was the one who said I was her boyfriend (she brought it up).</p> <p>You are right though, logically speaking I was only interested in the idea of her (she was only a 7 btw). haha, I even told her "how did you get so lucky to have met a guy so understanding/fun like me?" and she'd laugh. I often thought during that period "Okay, I understand what I'm gonna be bringing to the relationship if we have one, but what is she bringing to it?" and the answer would almost always be "other than what each and every other girl can. Wow, nothing.."</p> <p>I liked the fact that during all this, I always had a smile on my face, which got me so much attention from women on the street/subway/library. I felt so confident that I could do anything, I felt so creative (you should see the texts I was sending her). I was in state all the time.</p> <p>I guess I just feel depressed cause It made no sense to me, I was gaming this girl so perfectly only to find out I was her rebound.. =/</p> <p>In conclusion, This is the time where insecurities start to rise to the surface again. So it is important for me to write this. I know I've come so far (at some point I was not able to sit beside a girl in class in highscool because I was so terrified). And now I'm doing approaches. I am the fuckin man! She did not deserve me, she could not handle me, therefore she had to end it.</p> <p>Thanks for reading bro, here's my favorite text to her incase you guys think you can use it.</p> <p>I tell her about having a midterm in a couple of days and she tells me to go study.. about an hour later I text her with</p> <p>"Me + You = Salsa Dancing.. Wait WTF?! This isn't Calculus! :P" Then I IM with "yea I'm done studying" (so she doesn't think I was actually thinking about her lol)</p> <p>cheers,<br /> Humz </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1113#post-5016 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:40:42 +0000 ramakandra 5016@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Dear Humz,</p> <p>I am afraid to say after reading your story that you are correct in that she was only validating her ability to rebound. Although you felt very interested in someone and connected with her in short order, this is the mode that many people function by. You did great with the initial questions about her background and following up with text and first date. I think you are well ahead of other guys in your execution.</p> <p>However I don't think you did anything wrong or distracting from keeping her interested in you. You made your effort known but if there was any part I could suggest, it was suggesting boyfriends/relationships to a girl who has recently gotten out of one. As much as girls enjoy relationships they are fickle about their ability to move into new ones after the breakup.</p> <p>Further, I think this girl did not actually interest you because she did not talk much about herself - maybe she was really attractive which clouded your judgement; I also believe she is a drama queen and freaked out about this episode. Not worth your time in my opinion, even though you may have been very excited to have made a move with someone. It isn't hard for a guy in your position to get new girls and you should not hang yourself to dry on it. As far as literal advice is concerned you may have to play cool and act like its not a big deal. Ignore her if you have to, or let her come back to your life on her terms but keep your distance. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1113#post-5015 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:48:34 +0000 -Humz- 5015@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>This is a bit long, so please bear with me.</p> <p>As a part time job, aside from university, I help set up events/rides. About 3 weeks ago on Sunday, I was working when 2 girl volunteers came to help. I notice one of them looking at me, so I walked up and asked "you're not persian are you?" she smiles. It was on.</p> <p>Volunteers are supposed to rotate between rides, every 1 hour or so, but she stayed cause I bantered with her a lot (i.e. teasing her about her being a buttler cause all she did was let kids out of the rides =) ). At some point I shared something about me with her (I write/sing songs) and she says that she might know someone that can help me, so she ends up giving me her email, from which I got her number. (I text her "dork :P" almost instantly for her to get mine)</p> <p>First time we talk was on Instant messaging, as she confessed she stayed for me "I had my eye on you" and "I thought you were cute". She calls me every single day after that for about a week and a half, we end up going out for the first time on Saturday of the following week.</p> <p>On that saturday she greets me with a hug that lasted for like 10 seconds, she holds my hand and we walk to a chinese restaurant (kino all night, and everytime I kino she moves in closer). I try to get her talking about herself but she wouldn't speak, so I end up telling more of my stories to keep the night interesting.</p> <p>I then tell her to walk me to my bus stop where we made out which caused me to miss my bus, so we stayed and made out some more. After I got on the bus she calls and stays on the phone with me for 30 more mins. (wow.)</p> <p>We set another meeting, which was the Friday of the following week.. </p> <p>I ask her at one point "what are we doing here? Are we having fun or is there something more?" she responds with "I want both"</p> <p>(Beginning of the end) She IMs tuesday night telling me she's gonna be starting a new job soon so I tell her "Are you sure you don't need someone to hold your hand on your first day?" And she answers with "wait let me just call my boyfriend" </p> <p>so I banter it off then I add "well, whoever your boyfriend is, he isn't spanking you enough" (Credit Lance Mason's Banter Deck). Then I ask "So I'm your boyfriend now?" And she answers with "Are you saying you're not?" I answer with "well, okay I'm your boyfriend but I still know nothing about you, but hopefully that's gonna change this friday" She says okay.</p> <p>About 5 mins after that she starts freaking out about "not being sure if she wants to be in a relationship at the moment" So I tell her, "okay then just stop, why are you rushing? let's take it slow" She agrees.</p> <p>She calls again wednessday and everything's cool, then Thursday night she IM's me with "I need to talk to you" Then says "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" and "I think it's cause I'm not over my ex yet".</p> <p>I just don't understand what happend there. Was this girl just playing? Was I just a rebound? How can I use this to my advantage and move forward? I know I'm not supposed to dwell over this, But that was my first date/kiss/semi-relationship.</p> <p>If you've read this far thanks for reading. Your input is much appreciated.</p> <p>Thanks in Advance,</p> <p>-Humz- </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1096#post-5014 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 08:57:15 +0000 chris toms 5014@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>This is how i beat AA: You got to take Baby steps, start off speaking to people on the bus, shop assistants even sales people who call you up, then gradually build this up into longer conversations.</p> <p>A key point is when you start approaching dont be so Outcome Orientated start speaking and then excuse yourself this takes the pressure away.</p> <p>Good Luck </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1112#post-5013 Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:57:56 +0000 Eric Disco 5013@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Never ever answer this question unless she's already you're girlfriend. It can only hurt you to answer this question, whether the number is high, low, or in between. Always joke it off. Just say "Thousands," or "I can't even count that high."</p> <p>She does not want to know the answer. If you've been with lots of women, that's great. You have a lot of experience. But to let her know that is a big mistake.</p> <p>Eric </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1112#post-5012 Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:04:10 +0000 Soy El Unico 5012@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>When a girl, either directly or indirectly, asks if you've been with a lot of girls, what's the best answer? In my opinion, it seems that this question presents a guy with a great opportunity to display some social proof... even if it's completely bogus. That is to say, whether you're a genuine stud or fakin' it till you make it, you can gain some serious ground with the way you answer. BUT... what's the best way to answer? You don't want to come across as a man-whore, and you absolutely, positively don't want to come across as inexperienced either. SO... what's the best strategy when this question comes up (and it does)? </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1101#post-5011 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:36:51 +0000 Doodle2 5011@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>let me ask you mriley, do you believe there is anything wrong with you? </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1111#post-5010 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 09:40:14 +0000 themann25 5010@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Sorry about the grammar in the post im a little tipsy </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1111#post-5009 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 09:39:16 +0000 themann25 5009@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>today idid not really plan approaching. I went to a bar and my friend was standing right next to this hot chick he wasnt even acknowledging her. I say hi how you doing what your name she stared at me for a second kind of weird then she showed me her finger which had a cheap looking weding ring on it. She seemed upset but when I said I didnt know she was like it was okay and the conversation ended. I then went to a club didnt make any approaches but one girl pulled me to dance with her then pushed me away when i didnt impress her with my dance moves. Another chick seen me talking to my friend and asked was I talking about her. It caught me off gaurd I then said yeah I was telling him how nice you looked. And then it got silent. So I walked away. Most of the chicks were dancing or talking with some dude and I stood on the sidelines bobbing my head pretending to enjoy myself is there any suggestions on what I should be doing. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1101#post-5008 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 15:41:31 +0000 Allegory 5008@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Hey Mriley,<br /> This is interesting. Maybe you should get in that situation again, let the same things happen and once you feel like leaving, just don't. Sit with the feelings of tiredness allow them to show, even express them. In my experience, I've noticed that sometimes there are doors we never open, not because we can't, we just happen to react the same way to similar situations every time. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1110#post-5007 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 05:22:43 +0000 relentless 5007@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>**takes note**</p> <p>ha ha thanks eric! </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1109#post-5006 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 21:42:16 +0000 nonstop 5006@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Even smaller, just start by holding you gaze as you walk by. Look them in the eyes and DONT FORGET TO SMILE (at least a little smile, so you don't creep them out). You'd be amazed how far a smile can get you. Stand tall, it will come naturally the more you do it, and it portrays confidence; women love confidence. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1109#post-5005 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 20:12:13 +0000 Eric Disco 5005@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Approaches. </p> <p>I don't like that word. Yes, this site is called Approach Anxiety. But that word makes it sound like you're trying to land a plane which has a good chance of... crashing and burning.</p> <p>Of course your body doesn't want to do any approaches. There's too much on the line.</p> <p>Start with something small. Compliment a girl on something, her shoes or her hat. Or you can start even smaller and compliment a guy.</p> <p>There is no way to build a house from the ground floor up. You must start with the foundation. Get comfortable doing little, meaningless things that carry no weight first. Then move on to 'approaches' i.e. trying to get into a full conversation with a girl you don't know.</p> <p>It sucks to not have someone on Valentine's day. We all want to be loved. We all want validation. And it's good to keep bettering yourself and learning how to be happy so that you can meet people you really like and bring them into your life.</p> <p>But there are just as many people in unhappy relationships. A relationship is not the cure for everything. In fact it takes a lot of work.</p> <p>I've been in boring, unfulfilled relationships, or relationships that I knew weren't good for me. And it sucks to have to back out of that. It is one more obstacle to finding someone you really like.</p> <p>Be glad that you are on the path. </p> <p>Eric </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1110#post-5004 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 20:05:40 +0000 Eric Disco 5004@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>It's fine to plan dates that far ahead. In fact you want to, especially if it's the second or third date and you want to put space in between the time you see them.</p> <p>Your best bet it so send out a flirty text message or two. </p> <p>"There's a rumor going around that you look really cute today. Can you confirm or deny these allegations?"</p> <p>Something fun and not really trying to get into rapport.</p> <p>Eric </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1110#post-5003 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 19:18:39 +0000 jman179 5003@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>I think if you mix it up a little that won't be a problem. Don't always plan the dates so far ahead, be a little unpredictible... its good to do it off the cuff sometimes, 'I'm going to my favorite sushi place tonight (example) wanna joing me?'. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1110#post-5002 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:30:08 +0000 jhonnybravo 5002@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>i was wondering what do you guys do when you've planned a date on saturday (random day) which will take place on wednesday what do you guys do to keep the girl excited for the date? i have had a number of times where i feel the girl just isn't excited anymore. how do you guys handle this? </p> <p>jhonnybravo </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1104#post-5001 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 16:37:23 +0000 enufisenuf 5001@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>your actually a pretty good writer, i enjoyed reading this despite its length. Anyway i would sweat it really, you did A oppurtunity, but not THE opportunity. i would talk to her if i saw her again, and maybe bring up what happened rathert than letting into be a reason for awkwardness. Its very likely that her friend was dragging her to talk to you, and she was too shy to come say hi, whether or not this was the truth, if you believe it to be so, you dont really have a reason to feel embarassed next time you see her and it will show. </p> http://approachanxiety.com/forum/topic.php?id=1109#post-5000 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 05:17:25 +0000 themann25 5000@http://approachanxiety.com/forum/ <p>Today I went out to the mall by myself. Seen a lot of girls but I made no approaches. Is there anything I can do to change the way I think and improve myself esteem. I feel kind of pothetic no chicks at home by myself on a saturday night before valentines day. I thought about going out to a club but I never seem comfortable there with all my AA or seem to keep a descent conversation if I do speak. Any advice </p>