Does She Want You to Come In?

Today’s post is by my good friend, Lance Mason, the founder of Pickup 101.

You’re at her door.It’s late.

It’s getting later.

She looks up at you, leans in, and you kiss.

“Well, I guess I should go,” she says.

“Yep. I had a great time,” you say.

“Me too!” she says and smiles. Waiting. Standing there, as it’s getting later.

“Have a good night,” you say, and walk away.

And the first few steps you are happy, until something hits you.

It’s like a little goblin sitting on your shoulder, and he’s been watching the whole thing, keeping his goblin mouth shut.

But now he just has to say something. And you know what that something is.

She wanted you to come inside. Genius.

You look back, and see her head inside, and for just a shimmer of a second you see a spark of sadness on her face. She’s sad because she’s going in alone.

I hope this sounds familiar, and I hope you realize this has something to do with you.

You will have a lifetime of dating ahead of you. And you will find yourself in all different kinds of dates and situations that all lead to the same crossroads at the end of the date.

At some point you both have this page in the “Choose Your Own Adventure” book, where she can head home, and you can head home.

You’ll have all sorts of thoughts going through your mind when this time comes.

“It’s late. I have to work early. She has to work early.”

“It was a great date. Don’t screw it up now. Get out while the getting is good.”

“If she wanted more, she’d invite me in.”

And of course, the real reason behind it all…

“I can’t ask her in or ask to come in, because that would be pushy, or creepy, or…. no, that’s not it. I can’t try to go inside with her because then she might REJECT me.”

Sad stuff, isn’t it?

At your door. At her door. And all that’s standing between her and you getting to enjoy each other, guiltlessly, in fun like little kids amazed at a great birthday present, is one move.

Just a few words.

There is a magic spell to overpower that fear of rejection that stops you from going inside with her.

There is a trick.

And I’m going to give it to you.

But first, I want you to think back to the movie “The 40-Year Old Virgin.” I caught it on cable last night, and had forgotten what a great, sweet date movie it is.

What’s really sweet about it is how it shows the woman in the relationship needs her man to want her, and to be sexual with her.

And when he doesn’t, well, she doesn’t think it’s nice, or chivalrous, or kind or gentlemanly or anything like that.

No, when she finally snaps and can’t figure out why he hasn’t made a move on her, you remember what she says?

“Are you going to kill me?”

She’s so confused by his refusal to act like a man and act on his desire for her that she can only assume he’s a creepy killer.

Now, I’m not saying that your dates are left at the doorstep wondering if they should call the FBI, but you have to know that SHE IS EXPECTING YOU TO MAKE THE MOVE.

She’s insulted if you don’t. And I know this because, well, I’ve done the same thing.

I can’t tell you how many dates I’ve been on, where I left her there, or walked her out, and saw that moment of disappointment on her face.

And most of those girls I just never heard from again, great date or no.

It took me YEARS to figure out that you are ALWAYS better off making a move, always better off going for the kiss, inviting her in, getting into her house.

As long as you do it smooth, with a pure heart, and the best intent for fun and sexy time.

Want to know the secret to doing it smooth? Here it is. One line that will change your life. But once I give it to you, I want you to go out and USE it right away.

Next time you are with her at your door, or her door, and you both know it’s that is-it-the-end-of-the-night? moment, just stop.

Smile.

Look in her eyes.

And say, “I’m thirsty. Are you thirsty? Let’s go inside and get a glass of water. The water here is just amazing.”

Smile some more, so she knows you are just talking smack about the water, and lead her by the hand.

All it takes to be together is a strong move, made gently.

Make it easy and fun for her to be alone with you, and she will not only want it, she will do it.

And then neither of you has to end a great night thinking, “Too bad this couldn’t keep going all night.”

THAT’s what she really wants. So go make each other happy.

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posted in First Dates