Lifestyle.

It’s been said that if you have an interesting enough life, that you almost don’t need any pickup skills.

I don’t totally agree with that. If you are completely unable to take initiative, you’ll be debilitated in any environment.

But in some ways it still holds true.

You attract people into your life by your passions and interests. In many ways, it’s what you do that attracts people into your life, not who you are.

Ever have a friend who just always had something fun planned? He’s the go-to guy when you want to have fun.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s that time of year.

Office parties. Holiday parties. New Years. All kindsa parties.

Parties can be one of the best places to meet people, particularly cute women.

But for guys with anxiety, it’s not always the easiest thing in the world to go out and party.

Here are some tips to make things better for you.

1. Don’t underestimate the power of simply showing up. Woody Allen once said, “80 percent of success is just showing up.”

Always say yes to a party invitation, unless there’s a really good reason why you shouldn’t go. Read the rest of this entry »

When I first started learning how to talk to women I didn’t know, I lost touch with some of my female friends. I didn’t quite know how to include them in what I was learning.

As I’ve gotten better at this stuff, I’ve begun to appreciate women on many different levels and have started to re-integrate them in my life in other ways than just romantically.

Being friends with women is important. Having women as friends is important. Friends in general are important. But there are many benefits to being friends with women.

Being friends with women allows you to see them as human beings. What does this mean? Does this mean you turn into a wussy and just be super nice to every girl you meet? Actually the opposite.

You see that they’re dealing with their own problems and insecurities. They worry about guys not calling them back. They have their own set of issues to deal with. Instead of putting women up on a pedestal, it allows you to see them as having their own struggles. Read the rest of this entry »

This last weekend I was in San Francisco. A group of us went out at night. One of my friends brings his girlfriend. And the girlfriend has a friend along.

We’re all hanging out drinking, having fun, talking to people out at bars. Eventually I make my way over to her. I sit down next to her and start talking to her, bantering a bit, just having fun.

She’s not having any of it.

My game was on, and I wasn’t intimidated by this girl. I could tell it was something else. This would have been a great opportunity to use something I’ve been doing lately.

When a girl is only minimally interacting with me, not giving me enough attention while I’m talking to her, I’ll say something like “You’re losing me.” and walk away from her.

It’s a bit harsh, but if I come back later, they’re usually more receptive.

But I didn’t.

Why? Read the rest of this entry »

One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is how little I enjoy bars and clubs for meeting women. I see that as a challenge, so part of me wants to take it on.

And it’s a great place to practice approaching LOTS of women in a very concentrated place where everything’s dark, everyone’s drunk and nothing really seems to matter.

But these places just really start to bore me. And I get tired and I just want to go home and go to sleep.

It’s tough to have fun when I’m bored and tired. And women can tell when you aren’t having fun. If I’m dancing it’s another story. I actually enjoy myself.

But just hanging out trying to talk girls who are partying just doesn’t do it for me anymore. Read the rest of this entry »