On the forum, Zhelyazko asks:

[It's been said that] only 7% of all communication is verbal the other percents are in way of speaking and body language.

Do you agree with the findings of this study and what does it mean?

How you tell a story is way more important than what the story actually is?

The underlying question here is, considering the importance of body language, how important is the actual content of what you say?

Is it worth crafting and working on a specific stories to use over and over or is it better to just ‘wing it’ and focus on body language and delivery?

Lately, I’ve been using an opinion opener/story that goes like this.

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Friday early evening.

My friend said he’d go with me to a concert. It’s a band I really like.

But then I get a text from him saying he’s feeling sick and staying home.

None of my other friends are interested in going.

Should I go to the show all alone?

A huge part of me just wants to go home, watch a couple movies and call it a night.

I decide I’m going out instead. It’s the first rule: just get out.

I don’t need to interact with anyone all night. Even if I just go and watch the band, that’s something.

Read the rest of this entry »

My band had just finished performing. I was putting my gear away when this CUTE girl comes up to me and asks if I know where Khaya is. Khaya is one of the singers in my band. I pull out my chump moves and say “No.” Just like that. Everybody take notes. “Okay,” the girl says and walks away.

DOH! Why didn’t I banter with her a little??! I could have said anything. “Khaya is in my mouth.” Fucking anything. Anything better than “No.” I could have used semi-erect half-funny banter and it would have been better. Instead I acted like a deer in headlights.

I finish putting my gear away and set off to find Khaya.

Now, before you go thinking that I get laid from being in a band… Read the rest of this entry »

They were sorority girls. You could tell just by looking at them. Half of them weren’t very cute. The place wasn’t packed. None of the places in the area were, it was a Wednesday night. So we decided to stay.

I’m with Frank and Craig. As soon as we walk in, I go over to one of the girls. I’m not that attracted to her. Because of the way she lit up when I walked over, I didn’t even have to use an opener. I ask her if this is a private party. She gives me the details that they are taking their sority sister out because she just turned 21.

Whenever there is a party at a bar you are totally in. No matter what. Make it your business to find out who the party is for and talk to everyone there, ask how they know her, etc. It’s like being at a house party. “Did this girl get her birthday spankings?” I begin asking. Read the rest of this entry »

I crashed a fashion-design holiday party with one of my friends last night. I wasn’t part of the company but somehow we got in.

Everyone was dancing and having a great time. I love to dance, but my dancefloor attraction game isn’t that great. So I decided to try and figure it out.

I tried to come up next to a girl and dance next to her, shoulder to shoulder, where both of us were facing in the same direction. That didn’t seem to work. The girl wouldn’t turn to face me.

I tried going up to another girl and doing the fun hip-check, something I do all the time with girls I’m friends with or already know. That didn’t work either. The girl still faced her inner circle. Read the rest of this entry »