It is toward the end of our second coaching session.
Patrick has learned the first two steps: to get comfortable in a location and to position himself next to women he’s interested in.
We are in whole foods. We have been walking around downstairs. He will pick up an item of food and ask a woman how it is.
After she responds he says “Thank you” and walks away.
He does not continue the conversation.
I’ve forbidden him from doing so.
“What were you going to tell me?” I say to him when he returns.
“I’ve got fucking balls,” he says to me.
This is what he says to me after every interaction. I do this with all my clients.
We come up with a phrase in the language he would normally use that he will come back and tell me after every interaction. Read the rest of this entry »
One of my mentoring students lives in Montreal. He flew into New York every other week to work with me. He recently completed the six-week program.
This is what he had to say about it:
Learning how to meet women was important to me. And this program was definitely worth it.
I like the approach of this program. The anxiety is not gone, it’s just easier to handle. Which is fine.
Part of what I found interesting is that I got a lot more positive responses than I would have expected. I think it’s just part of that overall perception that the random approach can’t happen successfully in real life. Read the rest of this entry »
Deep down inside, there must be something inherently wrong with you.
You’re sure of it.
It has to do with how you experience life. The way you experience other people.
You know there’s more out there. You’ve tasted it.
For moments at a time, you experienced the joy of interacting with a woman you are madly attracted to.
She looked at you, for a moment. And for a moment you tasted it.
The Pickup Community promised you the world. Devious ways to win her heart.
You can change, they told you. They gave you the words. You adopted a new personality.
But weeks later you forgot the magic words and you’re back to square one.
And now you stand there and you look at how far you’ve come.
You look at where you’re at. And here, it seems, is not that much different than there.
Read the rest of this entry »
“This is the most important part of the weekend,” I say to the guys in the workshop.
“Now comes the time when we brag about how awesome we did.”
One student is not doing awesome. Or at least he feels that way.
We just spent the last four hours going around Manhattan talking to women in different locations.
We went to bookstores, cafe’s, supermarkets, records stores, in parks and just walking down the sidewalk.
“I’m actually doing worse,” Mark says. “I’ve gotten phone numbers from women before, but today I didn’t get any. It’s like I was so nervous, maybe I was putting too much pressure on myself.”
Read the rest of this entry »
With so many people teaching pickup these days, how do you find the right coach to work with?
Here are seven things to look for in a great coach.
1. A great coach will build on your strengths.
He won’t try to completely take you apart and rebuild you. He’ll notice what’s working as well as what needs to change.
Making you see and feel good about what’s working is as important as helping you change what’s not working.
It’s not about giving someone a new personality and things to say, it’s about bringing out the confident, sexy guy that is inside you.
2. A great coach will share personal examples from his life.
In lectures and in answering questions, he’ll talk about his personal experiences with women. Read the rest of this entry »
You see that girl.
The thought enters into your mind for a split second: Talk to her.
But you don’t. Why?
It costs too much. You’ve paid the price before. Too many times.
You don’t want to feel the way you did the last time you approached a girl.
And the time before.
This is simple economics. The economy of emotions. You don’t want to feel that inevitable rejection. You have your dignity and you don’t want to lose it.
So you keep walking.
And that’s all you have, is your dignity.
And you have been exiled. You are shunned to the sidelines of life. Doomed to watch. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve got a HUGE secret to share with you today.
I talk a lot about the blood, sweat and glory of going out there and changing yourself. Dealing with the emotional turmoil of devastating rejections and harsh embarrassment.
How if you slave away, day after day, you can slog your way to the top of that mountain called ‘confidence.’
But there’s a huge side of approach anxiety which isn’t often talked about. Getting past approach anxiety can be…
Are you ready for it?
Lord have mercy, I did not just say that. Read the rest of this entry »
A write-up from one of my students from the last Art of Rapport workshop. -Eric a.k.a. Disco
I was lucky enough to have Eric a.k.a. Disco as my coach for Art of Rapport in Chicago.
Disco was also my coach at the Art of Attraction workshop. Besides being a highly skilled PUA and an excellent teacher he is simply a great guy and someone I now consider a friend.
I can be pretty damn good at bars and clubs when I’m in the mood, but I lacked a strong skill set specifically geared towards success at approaching women during the day.
My lack of experience meeting women while sober during the day resulted in my lack of confidence and uncertainty about exactly how to go about approaching successfully during the day. Read the rest of this entry »
When you are in a high-pressure situation, where you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone to try something you’ve never done before, what happens? Your body locks up. You go into self-protection mode. You may start acting fearful and inhibited instead of being expressive, creative, and fun. And women notice this.
In an attempt to get more comfortable and learn to be fun, I recently took an 8-week Comedy Improv class at Upright Citizens Brigade. To my surprise, it was probably the most fun I’ve ever had taking a class. It seemed like all we did during class was play games and make believe. All the while it helped my game immensely. Read the rest of this entry »
I have a fear of public speaking. More precisely, I should describe it as a phobia. I’m not really scared, I just react badly when I get up in front of a large group of people. My blood pressure starts to rise, my skin starts to get flush, and worst of all, I lose all ability to think on the fly. I’m not so bad if I have something prepared, but God forbid if I have to think up something right then and there.Learning to be a better public speaker is a great thing. But conquering this area of my life probably wouldn’t be enough for me to practice public speaking every other week. I don’t make very many public speeches. But the benefits that go along with learning public speaking will help me in my every day life and in my game with women.
Women are attracted to the man up on the podium speaking to hundreds of people, whether he’s a preacher, a politician, or a professor. He is the one wielding control over the room and captivating the multitudes. True charisma is the ability to seduce thousands, not just one person Read the rest of this entry »