Women will mess with you.

They’ll tease you and bust on you.

And occasionally, they’ll be downright mean.

It can get confusing because if a girl says something “mean” to you, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.

In fact, it could mean the exact opposite.

After all, we are using the same exact tools: busting on her and having fun with her.

If you’re going to dish it out, you should be able to dish it in.

That’s why it’s important to learn how to handle resistance from women.

Some people call these “shit tests.” Whether she’s doing it to test you or simply because she plays rough, it’s good to know what to do.

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This is an article from my friend Hurricane Lee.

Some of you on this site have asked me to break down a good interaction.

Some time ago, Eric and I were at a rooftop bar, a place with a particularly stunning view.

Next to us are three women (later joined by one more).

One of the women has her back to me, but I see her when she came in.

She is tall and smoking hot, wearing a beautiful dress.

I am 45. She is 25, as I will find out later.

I don’t like to open conversation with women who are not looking at me.  But this woman just won’t turn towards me.

I get my chance when she starts to put her hair up in a knot.

When women are that hot, it’s ok to open with something negative.

The Negative Opener

Me: “Get your hair out of my face, sister.”

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It’s Christmas time again.

Women are out everywhere doing what they do best: shopping.

It’s no surprise the one of the easiest ways to meet women is to talk about gift buying.

She’s a hotty in the Medical Reference section at Barnes & Noble bookstore.

She’s leaning against a railing with her face buried in a book.

I walk over, stand next to her, and pick up a book off the shelf.

I open the book and tap her on the arm while looking at the book.

“Do you think this is a good gift for a nurse, or do you think she’d be sick of stuff like this?”

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What’s your name? Where are you from? What do you do?

Oh my god, she’s thinking to herself. Another boring conversation.

She starts to answer with the same thing she’s said ten thousand times.

She’s getting bored to tears. But then…

You bust on her. All of a sudden she’s having fun again.

Here’s some banter you can use to make almost any conversation fun and playful.

Got your own favorite banter? Share it in the comments.

She Tells You Where She’s From – “Oh no, a [location] girl? You guys are trouble.” When she asks why, “[location] girls are all brats” or “They’re always hitting on me. They’re really grabby.”

Artist, painter, sculptor ? “Oh my god, you’re not going to ask to draw me naked, are you? I’m not falling for that again!”

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“The nature of improv comedy,” Kelvin tells me, “is that you react to what’s happening.”

“A lot of times when people see a comedy improv group do something, they say, ‘Wow! You guys must think really fast!’ “

“And the truth is, no, we’re not thinking at all. We’re just reacting.”

Kelvin was one of the most introverted guys out there before he got into improv comedy. He had so much social anxiety he couldn’t walk into a McDonalds and order a Cheeseburger.

Learning improv comedy helped him to become more spontaneous, to think less and to act more.

We all want to be spontaneous. We want to be fun, creative and witty as well. But social anxiety will kill that spontaneity. Read the rest of this entry »

“Hi,” I say to the girl behind the counter before I pay for my sandwich.

“Hi,” she says back in a dreary tone of voice.

“You don’t seem so happy to be here,” I say.

“I’m out of here in a couple of hours,” she replies.

“Where?” I say.

“I’m going on vacation.”

“Sweet!” I say. “Where to?”

“Europe,” she says.

A girl next to me getting ready to pay for her drink jumps in and says “Where in Europe?!”

“Italy and France.”

“Oh my god, take me with you!” I say. The girl behind the counter laughs “I’m totally going with you.”

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You’re out at a lounge with a very attractive woman, sitting, talking, enjoying each other’s company.

And she spills her drink.

What do you do?

If you’re a jerk, you might get angry at her.

But chances are, you’re not a jerk. You’re a nice guy.

Probably too nice.

So instead of getting angry, you might say to her “That’s okay, don’t worry about it.” You would play it cool.

Okay, not bad. It’s good to be nice. Nobody wants to hang out with a jerk.

But something that would make her feel even better is busting on her.

You turn to her and say “Oh my god, I can’t take you anywhere,” as you sigh. “Go wait in the car.” Read the rest of this entry »

A Question from a Reader:

Eric,

I rent a room from one of my buddies who owns a house. He and his girlfriend are both out of town for the week on vacation.

His girlfriend asked one of her friends to stay at the house and sit for their cat. Her friend is an 18-year-old college student that goes to a nearby university.

She’s also rather cute.

I got back home yesterday evening. When I arrived I introduced myself to her, made some small talk, and watched some TV before she had to go to sleep.

She seems rather friendly. At this point, I think you can tell where this is going.

This is pretty much the opportunity of a lifetime for any dude in their 20s–young 18 year-old girl-next-door type staying at your house, sleeping there over night, for the week.

Before I end up getting insta-friended, I figured I’d send you a mayday in hopes of you getting this soon and being able to help me out.

How do I increase the tension here? Read the rest of this entry »

Someone recently asked me, is it possible to banter *too* much?

There is an important concept called calibration.

It is what separates the men from the boys, the Don Juans from the amatuers.

Theoretically, I could flirt and banter for hours. There is always something to banter about…

Oh my god, you could even be my little banter partner and we could take trips around the country and all we’d do is banter. We could start little banter clubs and only people who are good flirts could join.

Maybe I’d let you join.

Well, I don’t know you’d have to be extra nice to me. Let’s hear you banter. Oh my god, that banter was horrible! I just went gay for a second. Okay, try again, this time with a little more sexy in it.

On and on and on…

So when is too much? Read the rest of this entry »

As luck would have it, I end up sitting next to this very cute girl on the plane. It’s a night flight to LA.

The aisle is three seats across. I’m sitting in the window seat and there’s another woman on the other side of the cute girl.

I start talking about some guy who was thrown off the plane because he was drunk. The drunk guy had been sitting next to me in the terminal and had fallen all over me a couple of times.

“What’s with all these drunk guys and hot girls always trying to touch me?”

The banter begins. Read the rest of this entry »