One of the biggest mistakes guys make, over and over, is trying to logically convince women to date them.

They spend an inordinate amount of time demonstrating that they are an appropriate match for her.

For a woman to get involved with you, she must, at some point, take action, even if that means simply responding `yes’ to your initiatives.

That initiative is always based on her feelings.

The decision to not date you may be a logical one or an emotional one.

For example, if she’s experienced, she may deduce that her feelings are being manipulated and she may decide that she does not want to date you.

Or she may not feel emotionally inclined to date you.

But no matter how logical she is, her taking a positive step to get involved with you will always be based on emotion. You may be the perfect match on paper, but if you don’t turn her on emotionally, she won’t say Yes.

Why?

Ultimately, she knows that feelings are all that remain in a relationship.

No matter how good or appropriate the proposition, if you don’t feel it right at the beginning, you will never feel it. She can envision feeling less, but she can’t envision feeling more. Read the rest of this entry »

Most men walk around insecure about their looks.

They feel bad that they can’t attract certain women because they themselves aren’t physically attractive enough.

They walk around with a feeling that attraction for women works the same way it does for men.

Most men haven’t had enough experience initiating interactions with women they don’t know.

Because of this, they can only mirror their own attraction mechanism–which is highly based on visual input-and project that onto women.

They feel that women are just like men, except that they have different bodies (female bodies) and are attracted to different bodies (male bodies).

Read the rest of this entry »

Where do you draw the line between confident and cocky? Between assertive and aggressive?

How do you walk around like you think highly of yourself, but not like you think you’re better than everyone else?

Guys are always trying to reach that line. But they usually fail.

I’ll illustrate why with an example.

In coaching guys, one of the biggest problems is that they don’t speak loudly enough when talking with women.

About 95% of the guys I coach speak too quietly.

Introspective guys tend to speak quietly with everyone, friends included. And then they speak even lower when they take initiative with a stranger.

Put that guy on a crowded train where other people are within earshot, and he’ll speak even quieter.

It’s barely a whisper. Read the rest of this entry »

Me and my wing, Lee, have spent a long time going out together meeting women.

We’ve developed some effective ways of working together that are completely original.

Below I talk about some ways we work together when meeting women during the day and at bars at night.

The Importance of Positioning When Being Indirect

Positioning is critical, particularly when being indirect.

Being indirect means you’re using an excuse to talk with her rather than displaying your interest up front.

Examples of indirect openers include asking for directions or asking for an opinion about something.

You’re in a park. If you get up and walk past ten other people to ask a woman how to get on the internet, it won’t come across as believable.

Read the rest of this entry »

I was with my 3-year-old nephew this weekend.

We were playing with his toy cars. He would always start off this way:

“Uncle Eric, which car do you want?”

“I want the blue one,” I’d say.

“No!!! I want the blue one. You take the green one!”

Almost every time we played he would do this.

He would first check to see which toy I wanted, and then take it for himself.

Was he being a dick?

No. He’s doing what kids do, and human beings in general.

If one kid is playing with a toy, all the other kids want that toy, even if there are a ton of other toys to play with.

It’s called mimetic desire, a term coined by the philosopher Rene Girard.

Mimetic means to copy. Read the rest of this entry »

Women will mess with you.

They’ll tease you and bust on you.

And occasionally, they’ll be downright mean.

It can get confusing because if a girl says something “mean” to you, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.

In fact, it could mean the exact opposite.

After all, we are using the same exact tools: busting on her and having fun with her.

If you’re going to dish it out, you should be able to dish it in.

That’s why it’s important to learn how to handle resistance from women.

Some people call these “shit tests.” Whether she’s doing it to test you or simply because she plays rough, it’s good to know what to do.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is an article from my friend Hurricane Lee.

Some of you on this site have asked me to break down a good interaction.

Some time ago, Eric and I were at a rooftop bar, a place with a particularly stunning view.

Next to us are three women (later joined by one more).

One of the women has her back to me, but I see her when she came in.

She is tall and smoking hot, wearing a beautiful dress.

I am 45. She is 25, as I will find out later.

I don’t like to open conversation with women who are not looking at me.  But this woman just won’t turn towards me.

I get my chance when she starts to put her hair up in a knot.

When women are that hot, it’s ok to open with something negative.

The Negative Opener

Me: “Get your hair out of my face, sister.”

Read the rest of this entry »

In Weekly Challenge that just went out, (you can sign up here) we talk about push/pull.

Here is a great video where a comedian/magician takes push/pull to another level.

The part where he does push/pull starts at around 1:38:

“What’s your name, princess?”

“Stacey.” Read the rest of this entry »

The Ballad of the Nice Guy (via Reddit)

“Is there a zoo in central park?” I ask her.

It’s 10 AM. We’re standing on the subway train.

I’ve carefully positioned myself next to her so that it seems incidental that I’ve chosen to ask her.

She responds, saying there is.

“I have friends coming into town for the weekend and I’m thinking of bringing them there,” I say, continuing the conversation.

We start to talk a bit about the zoo and central park. And then…

I stop. I let conversation drop.

I look around the subway car as I wait…

Wait…

Wait…

Wait… Read the rest of this entry »