I’m standing on the subway platform when she catches my eye. I look over at her.

And then… I see her subtly look in my general vicinity.

Is she attracted to me? I wonder to myself.

Asking that question is a mistake in and of itself.

This is because women often don’t know themselves when they are attracted to a man, at least not in the same way men do.

As men, it’s easy for us to make the mistake of thinking that women are attracted to us in the same way that we are attracted to them.

When a man feels attracted to a woman, he knows right away. He feels a desire to have sex with her.

For the most part, man’s attraction is visual. When he sees a woman, he feels attraction instantly and powerfully. There is no doubt in his mind that he wants to fuck her. Read the rest of this entry »

Success. There’s nothing quite like it to fill your sac with confidence.

Things work out between you and a girl, and all of a sudden it feels like you’re part of the “get’s it” crowd.

The stink of desperation washes off of you like a hot shower.

And, conversely, there’s nothing quite like a dry spell to whither your confidence.

Even though you may be holding it together on the outside, on the inside you’re shriveling, dying for the touch of a woman.

Even though you may have perfectly good reasons why you’re going through a dry spell–you’re getting out of a relationship, you’re raising your standards, you’re challenging yourself in a different way–something is still eating away at your soul:

Doubt.

You wonder whether you still “have it.” Whether women are really attracted to you. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not where I want to be. All of this is killing me.

I’ve been doing way too much. Working too much. Running around. And I’m not enjoying it.

I have almost no free time to myself. I’m running myself ragged.

I don’t like where I’m at and how it feels.

I’m jumpy all the time, and rushing from thing to thing. I’m getting overwhelmed.

I feel like I don’t have time for anything in my life. All I want is a little free time.

So I’ve started a new affirmation.

My life is leisurely and relaxed.

How can this affirmation help me here? Isn’t that just wishful thinking?

Read the rest of this entry »

Positive self-talk. There’s a reason guys are skeptical.

You want to live in reality. You don’t want to make things up in your mind.

You don’t want to just think you are excellent, you want to BE excellent.

You didn’t get into this to fool yourself.

You have a healthy attachment to reality.

You know what you can and can’t do.

You can’t walk up to a beautiful woman and say “Let’s have sex.”

She’ll say No.

This is reality.

But you want to improve. You want to be better with women. And you know there are ways to do it. Read the rest of this entry »

When you were a kid, if every morning your mother told you,

“Look at you. You’re such a loser. You’re an unattractive slob. Nobody likes you.”

How would that change your life?

What if instead, your mother told you every day in a loving tone of voice,

“Look at you. You are so smart and handsome. Everyone likes you.”

You would start to believe what you heard, even if you chose not to.

We human beings are highly social creatures. So much of what goes on in our minds is a construct of what we believe other people think of us.

If someone tells you something day in day out, inevitably it will start to sink in. You will feel differently about yourself, regardless of the reality of the situation.

Read the rest of this entry »

It first came out as a joke.

I’m in an art gallery with my friend looking at some photos. There is a hot photo of a girl with a guitar practically making love to the camera.

“Wow, she’s pretty hot,” I say to my friend.

“Oh yeah. That’s Michelle Branch” he says.

“She wants me, I can tell,” I joke with him.

But in a way, I’m serious.

This superstar, sexy-as-hell girl with a guitar in a photo wants me. There is no way that is reality, is there?

Yes, it is possible. And no, this is not some Twilight Zone episode.

Read the rest of this entry »

The date was amazing.

Oh. My. God.

I can’t believe how much chemistry was there. I can’t believe how much we connected. I can’t believe how HOT it was!

And you start to think about her.

And think about her.

And think about her.

It’s nice to think about her. But there comes a point where you’ve thought about her too much. You can feel it.

There’s a difference between feeling good about it, and feeling pain, insecurity, neediness, or possibly even hints of depression. Read the rest of this entry »