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Aug 19

It’s amazing. It never fails. You get in front of a person whom you are madly attracted to, and your body locks up. Your brain is in prison, frozen with nothing good to say or do. Maybe you’ll think of something brilliant ten minutes after you walk away from her. But while you’re in it,

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Jun 30

I haven’t had a date in sixth months, I just realized. I’m going through a dry spell, I thought to myself. I was 27 years old, living in New York City and I hadn’t kissed a girl in what seemed like forever. It sucked, but it wasn’t a big deal, I told myself. It will

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May 15

1. Know Yourself I am an introvert. That means I need time alone to recharge. You may see this as a weakness when it comes to pickup, but it’s also a strength. It means I am inherently sensitive. Yes sometimes I am hypersensitive. But I have an advantage in connecting with one other person, even

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May 4

A Reader Writes: You’ve really nailed the nuts and bolts of approach anxiety. The problem is, I know this stuff, but every fucking time I go to act, I shut myself down. I justify why I can’t do this right now, how I’m just too scared. I imagine myself walking up to a woman with

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Apr 8

She’s amazing. It seems like all eyes are on her as she walks past. A ray of light has just pierced the busy Barnes and Noble cafe. She sits down at a table and begins reading a book. She’s alone at her table. I’m alone at my table. She’s amazing. Did I already say that?

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Apr 6

Questions from a reader: I take it you were once like every other nice guy out there who couldn’t talk to strangers for whatever reasons, but while most gurus and websites advertising seminars and workshops would have you believe that your approach anxiety can be fully ‘cured’ in six hours, you seem to still suffer

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Mar 15

Every day on the streets of New York City I see attractive women. I hardly have to turn my head to look at one because another cute one will walk by. Why don’t I approach more of them? Why am I afraid to approach a harmless girl? If things don’t go well with her, I’ll

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Mar 11

In the past, I was the nicest guy in the world. That was my M.O. I was nice with everyone. All the time. I always put people ahead of me. I think I could have gotten a gold medal in the Nice Olympics. I did it because it made me feel good about myself. I

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Feb 23

It’s after work. You’re in the supermarket picking up some food and you see her. She’s beautiful. And sexy as hell. You want her. Maybe in the past there would be no way you would go up to her and talk to her. But now you have a game plan. You decide you are going

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Feb 17

I’m at the airport in Vancouver going through immigration when I first see them. They look like rock stars. You can just tell. Aside from their look, they have a presence about them. They are five guys, looking slightly cooler than everyone else, going through immigration together. I’m getting the third degree from an immigration

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