The All-or-Nothing Mentality Kills Your Chances with Women

by Eric Disco
Oct 5

You’re sitting in the park. You see a hot girl walk past. She’s amazing. You savor the view.

Then the thought hits you:

Wait. I could actually talk with her.

Do you approach her or don’t you approach her?

This question in itself is a problem. It sets up a binary: Either / Or.

Either you jump into the cold water or you don’t.

Next comes the excuses. There’s a million reasons why you shouldn’t.

I’m too busy.

The situation isn’t optimal.

I’m too stressed out right now.

It probably wouldn’t work.

I don’t know what to say.

I’ll do it later. 

Your brain comes up with an endless number of excuses why you shouldn’t approach her.

So you don’t.

The problem is that this happens to you all the time.

99.999% of the time you see an attractive women, it isn’t the right situation to talk to her.

Over and over this happens until eventually you don’t even think about approaching them anymore.

You see a hottie and almost never hear that voice saying, “I can talk to her.”

What if the problem isn’t that you’re a giant pussy?

What if the problem isn’t one of the million excuses not to talk to her–many of which to some extent or another may be valid.

The problem is the false dichotomy that you set up:

Approach or don’t approach.

When given these two options you’ll almost always choose the latter.

Instead of falling into the either/or trap, you can start to take action in small, manageable ways. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

You could still take some kind of action.

You could walk up beside her so that you could talk to her if you wanted to.

You could ask her for directions to the nearest library.

You could compliment her on her shoes.

By setting yourself up to do all or nothing, you are virtually guaranteeing that for most of your existence, you will do nothing when you are attracted to a woman.

And that’s a very difficult habit to break when that perfect opportunity does present itself.

Next time you are attracted to a woman, instead of just enjoying it, think about something you can do to put your body in motion.

Your love life will thank you for it.


posted in Ramp Up

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