Always Be Closing

by Eric Disco
Jan 4

Lee is always forwarding me entries from Craigslist Missed Connections.

It’s for people who have had interactions with strangers but didn’t get to exchange contact info.

A lot of times you see posts where a girl was into a guy, but she just didn’t act in time. Or act right. And she missed her chance.
You asked me for directions to the subway, and then said I was cute and asked if I would like to grab some food. When I said I was on my way to a date you asked if I was married or if it was a boyfriend and how it was going. I was running late and caught off guard so I said that he was my boyfriend.

Truth is it was a first date, you were cute and confident and kept popping into my mind through out the date. You went out on a limb, now I am. I’ve got nothing to lose – should have taken your number or at least exchanged names.
It’s so easy to think that a girl simply wasn’t into you when often times she froze up just like you did. Here’s another:
We got on the subway at the same stop in Queens, but I got off before you in Manhattan. You liked my drawings, I wanted to know about the art you make. I got nervous when you sat next to me. I would love to meet you again, and not “in another lifetime.”
And another:
Tuesday evening, 11pm. Close to Brooklyn Bridge. You were wearing all black and didn’t have lights on your bike. We made eye contact and you biked after me to ask for my name. I was incredibly startled and walked away. I’m a petite Asian girl and get hollered at often, it’s an unfortunate reflex to ignore guys. If you read this, reply back with the color of my coat and what kind of haircut I have. We can chat.
And another:
You were chatting me up on the uptown 4/5 this evening and explained we both lived on the same block in the East Village. I got on at Wall and you approached me just before I had to switch to the 6 at Brooklyn Bridge. Sorry about that, I just wasn’t thinking, I definitely didn’t mean to blow you off.

You seemed like a sweetheart and if you’d like to be in touch, so would I. To clarify, I’m the tall curvy brunette with freckles and you’re a tall white dude with brown hair/professional looking and we were on the train around 7:15 this evening.
The moral of the story? Always be closing! At least carry a business card around that you can give to women.

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posted in Text and Phone Game

COMMENTS
7 responses
Lee says:

To me, there are two important insights from observing this behavior. 1) Women are incapable of quickly saying yes. They are bound by a combination of social convention and evolutionary psychology to resist until a man has demonstrated certain desirable qualities. It makes sense. This is their way of weeding out the weak, the awkward, and those incapable of taking risks for something they need. 2) If, even when women are strongly attracted to a man, they are sometimes compelled to act as if they are not, you can absolutely forget about waiting for a woman to approach you. It will not happen. It can’t happen. As you can see from these posts and many others like them, it is difficult for women to show strong interest even when they want to. These posts show the extremely weak hand that women have been dealt in the game of love. They can’t initiate and, in most cases, can’t even quickly choose the man to whom they are attracted. As the Hebrew prayer says, thank the Lord that you have not been made a woman!

–Lee

Rick says:

Lee,

I have to strongly disagree. You are describing a woman of say 20 to 30 years ago but not todays women. I was approached by a woman last night in a bar. She came right up next to me, ordered a drink and started talking to me. She was actually pretty funny but I was not attracted enough to her to pursue anything and she asked me out. Gave me her number. I took it but again, not interested. I also know a number of cougar types in bars that approach men quite a bit. In LA about two years ago I saw it quite a bit. The guys were model types, tall athletic build good looking dudes and they were all over these guys. I heard most of it. They were next to me at a bar they talked to each other about how hot these guys were. They went right up to them and hit it right off.

Then there is online dating. The LA thing gave me an idea. I did an experiment on a couple of online dating sites when I was not getting any responses and put up a false ad of a male model looking type guy to see what would happen. 6’1, good athletic build. Got at least 20 responses a week from women and many pretty good looking. Almost all propositions. One was a smoking blonde that forwarded her number. Kid you not my friend.

So in summary, women today are quite aggressive with men they are attracted too. Women are dealt a far better hand than men by a mile. I think that prayer is wrong. If one is an attractive woman today, you can pretty much have it all AND the guy she wants within reason. Women are aggressive today.

Lee says:

Rick,

The online world is different because it is an artificial environment that leaves very little opportunity for game. She knows why you are there and there is no way to hide your interest and very little you can do to show your confidence. The hard numbers – height, age, profession, etc. – become more important. A few years ago, when I closed my online dating accounts at age 46, I was getting hardly any responses from women. But I have absolutely no trouble approaching women of any age on the street or in a subway. The difference is game.

Women will initiate contact online, but this doesn’t translate to initiating contact on the street. When it comes to the street, the park, the subway, and the coffee shop, the experiences of the vast majority of guys on this site matches the academic studies on this subject: with very rare exception, women do not approach men.

Dude, the posts in this article are real. You can look them up. You won’t find similar posts from men. When men are interested, even if they are unable to initiate an interaction, they will at least show interest while that interaction is in progress. What these posts from women demonstrate is that women are often compelled to show disinterest even when they are very interested. They are not in control!

–Lee

Charles says:

@ Lee,

I’ve had this happen all too many times. Her first instinct is to say no, even when I run a solid set. Is the business card the only thing you can recommend to prevent showing up in one of these ads?

Lee says:

I would make it a personal card, not a business card, but yes, if she changes her mind after the interaction, giving her your contact info is the best way to give her a chance to follow up. However, if you’re used to asking for phone numbers and it is part of your approach, you shouldn’t change your approach just for the few women who are going to change their minds about you after you’ve left. Most of the time, a no right there is a permanent no. Nevertheless, it is useful to know that some of these knee jerk negative reactions are not real.

–Lee

Manray says:

What this tells me is to keep going for it. You keep having the conversations, keep approaching, keep doing the right things, and eventually you get the results.

Manray says:

Wow, I looked up “missed connections” on my local city’s Craig’s List. There are 2-3 of these every day from girls to guys they met and were too afraid to get numbers from. And my city is medium-sized – not huge like NY.

I’ve been thinking of getting a personal or calling card. Hmmm…..

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