Can you See the Matrix?

by Eric Disco
Jun 16

How many times have you walked away from an interaction and then a few minutes later thought:

“I should have said _____!”

In The Game, Neil Strauss uses a great analogy for guys who are great with women.

You see the matrix.

In the movie The Matrix, time slows down when Neo becomes a master.

He dodges bullets that come at him, in what feels like, slow motion.

This is what happens in interactions with women when you get good. But not just when you get good, when you get relaxed.

The first interaction of the day, I’m tense.

An interaction can feel like it’s going at 500 miles per hour. It’s over before the blink of an eye.

This is because I’m not comfortable with the vast spectrum of possibility, the full range of responses I may get from women.

But then I interact with a woman or two. I typically walk away thinking, “I could have said ______. But I didn’t.”

That’s okay.

Because the next interaction, I’m ready.

It seems like there are a billion different possibilities when you say something to a woman.

But in actuality, there are usually only a certain number of responses–even less if you are practicing by saying the same thing to different women.

With every initiative you take, you get closer and closer to “seeing the matrix.”

Those bullets come at you slower and slower.

A girl says, “Thanks for your help.”

And instead of reflexively saying, “You’re welcome,” in nice-guy mode, you say:

“Where would you be without me?” with a wink and a smile.

The more consistent you are with your initiatives, the faster your reflexes.

Until you’re in the zone…

Exactly where you want to be.

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posted in Ramp Up

COMMENTS
6 responses
Ben says:

Eric, this is great article man. I tend to be like one of those people who talk really fast during conversation with others(not just girls I don’t know).

Probably one of the most crucial things to do that I notice is slowing things down, like my speech, body movements, eye movements etc. Just like how they say that the body follows the mind and vice versa, if your mind is going a million mph with anticipation and nervousness it going to manifest itself in your body.

But just taking a deep breath and focusing on the absolute present moment and having slow calm body language, tonality, good posture, and eye movements can be hugely benifical. Instead of trying to calm your mind you can calm your body first and reap the benifits. If you are calm and slow this will help to give the interaction a less manic feel to it and you can focus on what matters.

With that said there are moments where I personally can feel like I seem too “social roboty” doing interaction. This is usually seen in your facial expression. Like when you first try to focus on improving you posture or body language, you are fully present in the interaction because your focusing on your body and not what happening in front of you.

So you have this kind of deadpan face as you consciouslly think of your body postioning and such. What would you suggest for someone encountering this problem, maybe just keep practicing until it become who you are? Thanks.

Eric Disco says:

Hi Ben,

At the beginning, when you are focusing on your body language, it will be difficult to focus on other things. But once you practice it enough, it becomes second nature. You become aware of how your body language is communicating. You can actually think of it while you’re doing other things.

This is because the two types of communication in the end are saying the same thing. If you show disinterest verbally, you show disinterest with your body as well.

Also, part of this is habit. When you bust on a girl, it’s a good idea to give her a touch on the arm. But when you do that, you also want to look away. Seems like a lot to remember, but once you do it enough times, it becomes a habit.

Eric

Ben says:

Thanks for the reply Eric. Yeah it is really important to know the signals that you are sending out with your body for sure. The example that you gave in your reply is one of the those great sort of under the radar mixed siganls that show of non-neediness But also show that you like her. Like giving a compliment and than busting on her and then turning your back to her playfully. I’d love to here some other examples of mixed messages that display your playful non-neediness and make the girl curious about you.

Matt says:

You can also learn a lot about yourself by paying attention to your body language. It can tell you a lot about how you really feel, not what you’ve talked yourself into think you’re feeling. Try it, it can be a surprise.

Eric Disco says:

One of the best ways to learn about yourself is noticing your body language around women that you’re not into. Watch your eye contact, body positioning, how relaxed you are, etc.

Eric

Socialkenny says:

This zone or sweet spot is incredible feeling.

Ultimately you aren’t afraid to be ballsy neither,and you’re quicker on your feet while in the matrix.I’ve been noticing this in my game over the years.I’m in the zone after a warm up set or 2.

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