Here’s how I do it.
I meet her in a bar. When we first meet, I flirt a bit with her.
We grab some drinks and sit down on a couch next to each other.
But I also amp up the flirting and physical contact. (For more details see Ten Rules for the Perfect First Date)
It’s the height of the interaction. Things have been going well. We’re almost done with our first drinks.
I turn to her and say “Let’s get out of here.”
I usually do this at a flirty point, not necessarily at a really deep connecting point. But the idea is that things are going great and you’re cutting it off.
She says “Where are we going?”
“This other place I really like,” I respond.
This is why it’s good to know a few places in your neighborhood where you can take her.
“Are you into heavy metal?” I ask her as we gather our stuff to leave.
“Uh… not really.”
“Good. Neither am I. There’s this heavy metal bar down the street that’s really fun. Let’s go.”
We walk into the heavy metal bar. It’s this freaky but fun dive bar.
We grab another round of drinks. We sit and connect, amp things up, have a lot of fun.
Then again, at a fun point, I say, let’s get out of here. We’ve pretty much had one drink at each place.
Then I walk her back to my place.
I typically use some type of excuse like “I need to stop by and use the bathroom,” or “Let’s stop by my place for a minute but then I’m kicking you out.”
It’s lame, but that doesn’t matter. It’s just an excuse so that she doesn’t have to confront the fact in her mind that we’re going back to my place for sex–even though she wants it.
So each place I’ll stay maybe 45 minutes or so, give or take 15 minutes. I pace it depending on how “on” it is with her.
I’ve also done it where I take her right back to my place after the first drink (or not even finishing the first drink).
I’ve also just walked by the front door of my apartment on my way to the other bar and said that I need to use the bathroom or not even said anything and just started walking into my place.
Once we’re in my building, if there’s been enough physical contact between us on the date, I’ll usually try to make out with her in the stairwell leading to my apartment.
It’s dangerous and we could get caught. That makes it more fun and dirty.
Once we’re back at my place any number of things can happen, depending on how revved up she is and how responsive she is to my touch.