I was taking the train around the city looking for different locations, and I noticed something:
All the cute girls I was meeting were on the train going to these locations rather than at the locations themselves.
There’s a reason a lot of guys inevitably ask the question: How do I meet women on public transportation?
In New York City, aside from women walking down the street, there is probably no place you see more attractive women.
So it’s very worthwhile to get good at meeting women on public transportation.
First, let’s discuss the pros and cons of doing this.
The Advantages of Meeting People on Public Transportation:
There are a lot of gorgeous women. If you ride public transportation, I don’t have to tell you how many attractive women you see, particularly during rush hour.
Women tend to be alone. A woman may be on her way to work or on her way to meet friends. But while traveling, she’s usually alone. If there’s a boyfriend, you’ll know right away. He’s usually right with her on the train, not in some other section of the store or bar.
Women tend to be bored. In stores women are busy shopping. In bars, women are with their friends. On public transportation, a woman is typically waiting for the train. She’s not doing anything, except maybe reading, looking at her phone, or staring off into space.
Women are not talking on the phone on the subway. One of the most frustrating logistics out in public is women talking on the phone. And it seems the hotter the girl, the more likely she’s in the middle of a phone call rushing down the street. Underground, in the subways, there is no phone reception. Let’s hope it stays that way.
Women are stationary. In stores women are rushing around. Women walking down the streets are not easy to stop, especially in winter. When waiting for public transportation, or riding it, women are usually standing still or sitting.
It’s indoors, so it’s usually not too cold or too hot. Most stations are indoors, so they aren’t effected by weather. Buses and trains themselves are a comfortable temperature for conversation.
The Drawbacks of Meeting People on Public Transportation:
There can be a lot of people listening in. Usually, there are people around when you start talking to a girl on public transportation. People tend to be quiet, so inevitably your conversation will be overheard. That may make you uncomfortable initially.
Small time window. If you talk to her on the train platform, it’s difficult to predict when the train will come. Once on the train, you don’t know how long you have to talk with her. She may be getting off at the next stop. This is a very unforgiving time window as compared to a store or a bar.
Loud trains and buses. You may be speaking to her on the platform when a loud train comes along and your conversation is interrupted. Some older trains are fairly loud once you’re inside them.
Logistical issues getting on and off. If you start talking with her on the platform, it may be a problem getting near each other once on the crowded train. If she sits, there may be no open seats next to her.
Being underground sucks. Unlike a park or a store, train stations and the trains themselves are not the most enjoyable environment. I could walk through parks and stores for hours, but after an hour or so on the trains, I really need to get outdoors and get fresh air.
Tips for Meeting Women on Public Transportation
Warm up before you get to the trains. I like to engage a few people asking directions outside before I get to the subway platform. That way I’m warmed up and ready to go when I get down there.
Try to go during rush hour. I read an article a while back where a guy went on the train every hour to see how many women versus men there were. During rush hour in the morning and evening, there are 55% women. By 3 AM, the ratio has dropped to something like 5% women. Lunch hour during the week and on Saturdays isn’t bad either.
Get next to her. There’s usually a great excuse to get yourself in her vicinity on the platform or on the train: Act like you’re looking at maps and signs for directions. If she’s on the other side of the train, you can get up, look at a map, and then walk over near her. If she’s on the platform, you can try to look at signs in the vicinity. Or simply stop walking when you get to her and turn and look to see if the train/bus is coming.
Try to find a seat next to her. If there is an open seat next to her on the train, bus, or platform, always take it. Sometimes you need to act quickly when a lot of people are shuffling around, so keep your eyes open.
Be indirect. Because it’s such an enclosed space, you want to be more subtle about engaging women. Some ways to open women that have worked for me:
“Do you know if there’s a zoo in central park?” Example.
“Love the boots! Where did you get them? My friend was looking for a pair exactly like that.”
“Do you know a good place for karaoke?” Example.
Talk to her on the platform first, if possible. Start talking to her on the platform first if you see her instead of waiting. If you’re too scared to open her on the platform, or the situation isn’t right, it’s not likely you’ll feel better about it once you’re on the train.
Find out where she’s getting off. Once in conversation with her, ask her subtly where she’s getting off. That way you know how much time you have to talk with her and get her contact info. Depending on what you’re going for, you can also say, ‘No way! Me too.’
Be ready with contact info. You don’t want to be scrambling to exchange contact info when her stop comes up. Do it ahead of time if possible. You may even want to have a card with your e-mail on it in case you need to exchange info fast.
You can check out some field reports about meeting women on subways in the Subway Field Reports section.