There are too many things wrong with me.

My forehead is ridiculously high, my skin too white.

My eyes are too small. They’ve been described as “squinty” by tactless friends.

My jawline is anything but strong. I hide it with a beard. All the fashion now.

I’m getting older, and still I’m typically not the smartest man in the room.

I’ve lost enough debates at my age to know that there will likely be someone at the table with a better grasp of history. Or a better memory. Or someone more likely better read than me.

My career isn’t terrible. But it’s not progressed in a decade as my true love is arts–music, writing–neither of which has won me accolades, save for perhaps this blog and my successful coaching.

I have women to thank for showing me the light. The ones who let me get oh-so-close, but not quite. They turned me into a revolution.

They made my bones hurt with inadequacy as they let me fall in love with them.

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A former mentoring student of mine sent me an e-mail this week.

Hi Eric,

I seduced a hot girl that I briefly worked with.

After I hook up with a girl, I usually ask her for her views on sex and seduction.So I asked this girl how she likes to meet men.

She said she hates meeting men at bars or clubs.She told me her favorite way to meet guys is at Union Square*!

She said if she is ever in the mood to be picked up she will go hang out at Union Square and wait for a cool guy to approach her!

I also asked how they open her. She said she hates when they compliment her right away.She said she loves the “smooth” guys that open indirectly and then seduce her through conversation.

So interesting that this is your favorite game spot and that you prefer indirect. Thought you would find this interesting.

*”Union Square” refers to a park in the middle of Manhattan that’s surrounded by bookstores, supermarkets and clothing stores.

Aaaah. It warms my heart.

The takeaway from all of this is not that all women necessarily respond better to an indirect approach, or that all women prefer to meet guys during the day rather than in bars.

The takeaway here is that women want guys to talk to them.

It seems women are always providing resistance to us in some way. Even when a girl likes you, she will “test” your meddle by offering resistance. It’s in her nature.

Due to this, it’s easy to start viewing women as an obstacle rather than realizing that they want to meet a great guy.

Seduction is a collaborative process.

Next time you go to talk to a woman, remember this. She may have set out that day looking to meet a great guy.

And guess what? You are that great guy.

I’m standing on the subway platform when she catches my eye. I look over at her.

And then… I see her subtly look in my general vicinity.

Is she attracted to me? I wonder to myself.

Asking that question is a mistake in and of itself.

This is because women often don’t know themselves when they are attracted to a man, at least not in the same way men do.

As men, it’s easy for us to make the mistake of thinking that women are attracted to us in the same way that we are attracted to them.

When a man feels attracted to a woman, he knows right away. He feels a desire to have sex with her.

For the most part, man’s attraction is visual. When he sees a woman, he feels attraction instantly and powerfully. There is no doubt in his mind that he wants to fuck her. Read the rest of this entry »

This post is brought to you by my good friend “Hurricane” Lee.

One of the most pressing questions I get from guys is when to kiss a girl. Do you try to kiss her when you first meet? On the first date? Later?

On the one hand, pushing sexual escalation is almost always a good thing. Kissing is a natural next step in sexual escalation.

On the other hand, kissing is an extreme form of interest. If you go to kiss her, she knows you’re very, very interested.

So when is the ideal time to kiss a girl?

First, you never want to just go in for the kiss without any prior physical escalation. That would be weird and a little awkward, especially if she were to turn you down.

The principle here is that nothing should feel unnatural. Just as she gets used to one level of intimacy and gives you her implied consent, you go a little further. Read the rest of this entry »