How to Succeed More Often Than You Fail

by Eric Disco
Jun 7

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posted in Self-Improvement Strategies

COMMENTS
17 responses
Bajazet says:

Hi! Awesome post! I couldn’t agree more with what you write.
It’s amazing to learn that our brain just needs 30 days to break an habit and between 30 and 90 days to ingrain a new one! Wow! Terrific!
Could tell us in which study did you get that stunning information.
It really fuels my motivation to know that science is on my side when i want to get social and better with women.
Thank you so much.

Bajazet, France.

Nony says:

Oh yeah? I’m gonna make a team and crack the record in 60 days. Thanks, Robbie Kramer

Fitznony, Nigeria

Hey Bajazet, I don’t remember the exact study but the exact number is actually 21 days. I just say 30 to make sure. Glad you liked the post!

Cameron says:

Great article Robbie! I particularly liked the bit about video games!

@Cammy… haha I thought you would like that!

Ariel says:

Eric,

Just wanted to say I have been doing your approach a day for 20 days now, and trying to do your 60 day challenge. I have to say I really feel a transformation going on – it manifests everywhere – in how I talk to people in work, in how creative I can be at work, in how girls respond to me, in my posture. I love the clarity and simplicity in how you write. I hope to get to NY sometime to get some coaching from you. Any chance you will be coaching in Europe this fall? I will be in Amsterdam

On another topic – there seem to be some technical problem with the forum. I cannot register and post there.

Zhelyazko says:

Great advice Robby but the problem for me is how to make it fun when even asking strangers for directions is not fun because it is difficult and tires me a lot. Yes i get a sense of satisfaction for having done it but knowing how much more I have to do to even get close to achieving my goals deprives me of power to continue.

Zhelyazko says:

Oops sorry it is Robbie

H.d. says:

Can I offer a revised perspective on this topic? This is coming from a gentleman who has literally spent his entire life afraid to approach women. The best thing for people with AA to do is to train in martial arts.

If you can’t approach, do something that scares you which will build your confidence. It’s a physical skill which gives you physical confidence. I recommend MMA, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, or anything else highly physical and challenging, and most important SCARY to you.

I have a ritual where I spar Friday nights, come home, shower up, and then go to the bars. My confidence was so high coming out of BJJ practice, that I rolled right up to the three most gorgeous girls at the bar, began teasing them and had a 10 minute conversation.

Without having done martial arts, prior, I probably would have either not gone out, or if I would have, I would have sat at the bar and did nothing. I really recommend martial arts, and preferably something that scares the shit out of you to increase your confidence in approaching women. Let me know how it works for you.

Marcello says:

“If your goal is to approach 5 women but that doesn’t sound like fun to you, you’ll struggle at best and quit at worst.”

But then what’s the alternative? You have to approach women even if you do not like it.

Also you can indeed feel successful for a while just for taking action regardless of the outcome. But in the long run if you cannot actually get girls it will eventually dawn on you that you suck at it. It is hard to pretend that things are going well when you haven’t dated in years and never had sex.

Cameron says:

“You have to approach women even if you do not like it.”

Thats just not true Marcello, you dont have to approach anyone, ever.

“Also you can indeed feel successful for a while just for taking action regardless of the outcome. But in the long run if you cannot actually get girls it will eventually dawn on you that you suck at it. It is hard to pretend that things are going well when you haven’t dated in years and never had sex.”

Yeh sure, if you never got laid then you wouldn’t enjoy it, right?

But if you keep building confidence you will get laid, and this definition of a success where you take complete responsibility for your “successes” (by creating them) means that you will build confidence every day.

Lee says:

It may sound crazy to guys with bad game (or guys who are just starting out) but the fact is that most of the guys who are good at this like the process itself. It’s not just about getting numbers or getting laid. It’s fun to talk to strangers, to tease them, to play with them. It’s fun trying to figure out what makes people tick, what they’re really like, what turns them on. There are many nights when good PUAs don’t get a single number – or don’t ask for a single number – but it’s more rare that they don’t have fun. It’s a chess game and romance roulette all rolled up into one. There has to be a possibility of loss to make it exciting. If you take away all of the fear and all of the uncertainty, most of the good guys would probably play only long enough to meet their next romantic interest. But in real life, the game is so much more interesting.

Pradeep says:

Lee – Spot on man, you said that very well, a lot of times its just fun to meet different people and enjoy their reactions ( mostly good, some bad ) to being approached….the process is the most important, and fun part !

Zhelyazko says:

H.d.

You struck a nerve here. I am definitely doing this. Been going swimming and other sports but they are not so physically scary as having to fight somebody. Thank you for the great advice.

Zhelyazko

Dogmael says:

@ H.D.- Right on, man. I just started karate, and I’m like “why am I doing this? I’m so uncomfortable!” But when I leave there, I actually walk taller- people actually comment on this :-)

Zhelyazko Says: “Great advice Robby but the problem for me is how to make it fun when even asking strangers for directions is not fun because it is difficult and tires me a lot. Yes i get a sense of satisfaction for having done it but knowing how much more I have to do to even get close to achieving my goals deprives me of power to continue.”

Hey Zhelyazko,

I wouldn’t recommend asking strangers for directions if that isn’t any fun or exciting for you. Check in with yourself and notice what your conscious or inner voice is telling you to do. That is the action you should take because it will inspire you. Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right. Hope that helps!

Jason says:

This is great! You can totally apply this to other things, like career for instance. I definitely can believe that having a mentor that is the same “type” as you is important so you can relate to him/her easier.

Awesome blog.

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