Gaining the ability to walk up to a woman you don’t know and start a conversation is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
There’s nothing like being able to walk up to a woman anytime, anywhere and talk to her.
Knowing when you see an amazingly cute woman, that you are empowered to speak with her rather than confined to your own isolated social space, like a prisoner locked in a cage.
Even aside from actually meeting and dating women, going through the process of learning how to do become socially confident will, in the end, make you feel better than anything else you could possibly do.
The thing is, every guy I know who’s able to walk up and talk to women also uses every means available to him to meet women.
While not their primary method of meeting women, they all take advantage of these other avenues of “income.”
Let’s look at some of these and the pros and cons of some of these.
This is probably the biggest one.
Pros. Internet dating can be a great way to become really good at first dates. You can get a lot of practice going on dates. Once you have things set up, like your profile and a good first message, you can get a steady trickle of dates without doing too much work at all. It supplements real-world initiatives with women in a very nice way.
Cons. Holy god, the frustration. Unlike meeting women in real life, it’s difficult to get feedback on what works and what doesn’t work. A girl will simply not write back and you don’t know why. In person, at least you can see her reaction.
You can also waste a lot of time and energy on this. It gets addictive. You keep updating your profile and tweaking your introductory message. It can also dampen your will to take initiative with women in the real world because you feel like you have interest from women online.
Real-World Tip. My biggest tip is in creating your profile and first message. You want to make it seem like you are judging people instead of trying to win over their approval. You can do this by stating what you want and what you don’t want in a woman all over your profile instead of just in the section usually called “What I’m looking for.” This shows that you’re choosy. Likewise, when sending initial messages to women, you want to make it seem like you are unsure of her due to all the past “weirdos” you’ve met online. If you can do this jokingly, that’s even better.
This is a fun one.
Pros. This is a great way to test out your initial first impressions with women. It’s a really fun way to meet a lot of women at once. In many ways it’s more time-efficient than internet dating because you don’t have to set up profiles or try so hard to get women to meet you in person. You automatically know if you’re attracted to them because you meet them, however briefly. And all of the skills you’ve been using in learning how to walk up to women and talk to them apply here. It also gets you to interact with women you might normally not approach, expanding your taste in women.
Cons. Often, there won’t be enough attractive women at these events. You spend three hours and anywhere from 80-100% of the women are not very cute or not your type at all. You may even go to an event where there aren’t any women you’re into. That can drain a lot of energy.
Real-World Tip: If there’s time, I like to talk about the event itself and say, “So have you met any hot guys here so … besides me?” Also, try to avoid sitting across from her. If you’re at a bar or lounge and you can comfortably and casually sit next to her instead of across from her, do that instead, even if no other guy is doing that.
Meeting women through friends, at work, and in your building can be prosperous.
Pros. Particularly with friends of friends, you already have some kind of “social proof.” Women tend to open up to you more readily and be friendly to you because they know for a fact that you’re not some random crazy person. You’re safe for them. You can also use the fact that you’re going to see the person again to take your time. You don’t necessarily need to set up a date with the girl the first time you meet her because you are likely to see her again.
Cons. The pros of meeting women through social circle are also the cons. Yes, women will open up to you more readily, but they also might be “nice” to you, giving you false positives. It’s difficult to amp up the sexuality and take huge risks because you don’t want to burn bridges, particularly at work, because there could be repercussions. If you creep a girl out on the street, there are no real-world repercussions other than feeling terrible. But if you creep out a friend of a friend, that could affect your friendships. You don’t want to be known among your friends as the creepy guy who hits on all the girls they bring around or they will stop inviting you out around their attractive female friends.
Real-World Tip: In social circle settings, start with a simple introduction (Hi, my name’s Eric.) and “how do you know
Got any other great ways to meet women or suggestions on the ones here? Leave a comment!