In our attempt to minimize emotional pain and discomfort, often times we as men are too ready to abandon an interaction with a woman.

We do this assuming that she’s not interested because she hasn’t taken initiative or opened up yet.

But I see it over and over again in coaching sessions: a guy will start talking to a woman and she’s smiling, interested and welcoming, but he doesn’t see it.

In a recent conversation with a gorgeous woman I’m dating named Beth, we got to talking about our high school crushes.

Beth tells me the story of RJ Wilson, her high school crush.

She was sitting on the carpeted floor in her living, watching Jeopardy on TV with her father. The phone rings. Read the rest of this entry »

A friend sent me a clip of a great episode of MTV’s reality show, True Life.

The episode is called I Can’t Leave My Boyfriend. Watch it here.

The show focuses on two women who can’t leave their astoundingly worthless boyfriends.

My favorite part is the relatively hot, 20-year-old blonde named Grace.

She’s with a 40-year-old, pudgy goth dude who wears a top hat, goes by the name “Hangman,” and refuses to leave the apartment.

They order from the same Chinese food place night after night.

After she threatens to leave, he finally agrees to take her out on a date.

And where does he take her?

To the same Chinese restaurant they order from every single night.

“He’s so good-looking,” she gushes over him. “He’s like a level 10 good-looking.” Read the rest of this entry »

“I’m craving sushi,” she texts me. “Any interest in getting some for dinner?”

“Who am I to stand between a woman and her sushi cravings,” I respond. “I’ve made that mistake before and I won’t make it again.”

I’ve been seeing this girl for a while, so things are fun and relaxed. We make plans to meet at 6:30 for sushi in my neighborhood.

I get there at 6:30. She hasn’t arrived. She’s probably delayed on the train, I think to myself.

I turn around and walk out of the sushi restaurant.

Instead of waiting patiently for her, I go shopping.

A few doors down, there’s a store I was eyeing. I text her that she can find me there. Read the rest of this entry »

What methods do you use to meet women other than approaching?

Gaining the ability to walk up to a woman you don’t know and start a conversation is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.

There’s nothing like being able to walk up to a woman anytime, anywhere and talk to her.

Knowing when you see an amazingly cute woman, that you are empowered to speak with her rather than confined to your own isolated social space, like a prisoner locked in a cage.

Even aside from actually meeting and dating women, going through the process of learning how to do become socially confident will, in the end, make you feel better than anything else you could possibly do.

The thing is, every guy I know who’s able to walk up and talk to women also uses every means available to him to meet women. Read the rest of this entry »

It still happens to me about twenty times a day: I’ll go to put my hands in my pockets.

And I have to stop myself.

I’ve got these long, dangling appendages–called arms–coming out of the sides of my torso.

At the end of each of these “arms” are these awkward proturbences called “hands.”

They don’t know whether to be tense or loose. It feels weird to just have them hang there.

I want to stick them in my pockets or loop them around my belt buckles.

But every time I go to do that, I think of a video I saw of two mixed martial arts fighters who stare each other down.

One fighter, because he has his hands looped into his pockets, looks so much less confident than the other fighter. Can you guess which fighter ended up getting his ass kicked? Read the rest of this entry »

One of the most important changes in becoming confident with women is spending less time “in your head” and more time being social.

When you’re “in your head,” you’re not in the moment. You’re thinking too much about what could happen or what already has happened.

Or you’re too self-conscious, focusing too much on how you’re doing it instead of doing the most important thing: taking action.

When it comes to long term improvement with women you also want to avoid keeping things “in your head.”

You may be keeping track of long-term goals as well as tracking your daily progress in your head.

But one of the best things you can do to get out of your head is to write it down.

This Saturday I had a coaching session with one of my best students named Sachin. Read the rest of this entry »