8 Tips to Maintain Sexual Tension in Your Relationships

by Eric Disco
Dec 19

Friend_in_Faux

“Okay, so I used banter and playfulness to get the girl,” guys ask me, “but at what point can I just relax and let my guard down?”

The short answer: Never.

Look at it this way, when can you stop being a man around women and just be submissive and sexless? Never.

Once you get used to it, maintaining the sexual tension in relationships is actually quite easy and fun?as long as you set it up that way from the start.

Much of relationship management is about not slipping into nice guy mode and instead always remaining a challenge. And a lot of this is done by being fun and playful.

Here are eight ways to maintain that fun, playful tension in relationships.

How much of an asshole can I be? The running joke is that I’m an asshole. I’m not really an asshole, I just play one around women.

She says she’s sore from working out. I respond, “You know, if you want, you can come over and give me a massage. I’m a nice guy like that.”

Her birthday is coming up and I ask her, “What are you getting me for your birthday?”

Whenever she says anything self-deprecating, I rarely disagree with her. This is important because things can easily slide into her fishing for compliments.

“Do I look fat in these jeans” is the classic Catch-22. But this never occurs if you let her take responsibility for her own self-esteem.

If she says something like, “I’m not that pretty.” I won’t respond with, “I think you’re pretty.”

Instead I would say something like, “Why don’t you think you’re pretty?” or “What don’t you like about yourself?”

Whenever she does something stupid, I relentlessly bust on her. A girl I’m seeing borrowed a drill from me to drill into concrete walls. She texted me that it wasn’t working.

Two hours later, she confessed that she had the drill going backwards.

I relentlessly busted on her. She laughed and punched me in the arm as I later told her how it was my new favorite story and that I had already told five different people.

She hated it and loved it at the same time.

When things go too far, I don’t jump in and apologize. In busting on her, sometimes I go too far.

If she gets a bit mad, I don’t apologize. I usually just stop doing it or just change the topic.

If anything, I’ll say, “I’m just playing.” But that’s pretty rare. The thing is, I don’t let her make me feel bad if I was just playing around.

If she’s truly hurt or emotionally injured, she’ll let me know. But that’s pretty rare.

yeagle1Fuck chivalry, I take the lead. I rarely hold the door open for a woman. Why? If I did, she would be walking into the place first.

Nope. I’m the man, I enter first. Who knows what’s in there? I am always the one leading.

Whenever we’re walking through a place, I grab her hand and lead.

I blame her for EVERYTHING. Even if I obviously do something wrong, I blame her.

I recently took a girl to an event. When we got there, I realized that the event was actually next week.

“I blame you,” I said to her. “You’re really distracting.”

It’s obvious to her that I’m joking. We’re both laughing.

But the underlying communication is that I’m not going to feel bad for fucking things up. If I can joke about it, it means it doesn’t bother me.

Do I ever use self-deprecating humor?Yes, but it’s rare. I pretty much have to be “caught” before I use self-deprecating humor.

If I do something stupid, I’ll try to make fun of her. If that fails, I’ll make fun of myself.

I’m laughing and saying “Touche. Okay you win¡Ä just this once.”

To quote Will Ferrel in Megamind, “Okay you’re right and I’m less right.”

Sexualize everything. Sex is always the first thing on the table.

I used to be overly nice with women in the past. I would try to make it very clear to her that firstly, I cared about her as a friend.

If a girl I was seeing came over, I would try to get into a deep discussion before we have sex.

Now if a girl comes over, sex is the first thing on the table (if I want it).

Am I her friend? I’m friendly with her. We connect. We respect and support each other.

But first and foremost, we’re lovers. And I don’t let her forget that.

She is a sex object.* She’s a whore. She’s my whore, there to do with as I please. And the things we do are unspeakably dirty.

Of course, you better believe that afterward I’ll blame her for seducing me and being so dirty.

And she loves it.

*Note: I’m referring to dirty talk and role playing within a mutually established relationship. See this and this comment for more.


This article was simultaneously posted on InnerConfidence.com

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posted in Attraction, Relationships

COMMENTS
50 responses
joseph says:

sigh… internet tough guy… so full of himself

IM THIS… IM THAT… SHE IS JUST A SEX OBJECT!

do post more, its very entertaining.

joseph says:

“How much of an asshole can I be?”

does the woman actually goes over and gives you massages after you say those words? YOU WISH! she is thinking of you as a clown.

“Whenever she does something stupid, I relentlessly bust on her.”

she hated and loved it? how do you know that? can you read her mind?
how would you feel if she told all her friends you have a small dick?
would you hate and love it too?

“When things go too far, I don’t jump in and apologize.”

first you say you never apologize, and then you correct youself and say “rarely”. i will tell you what happens. once she confronts you about what you said, you pussy out and apologize. then you write how manly you are on a blog.

“Fuck chivalry, I take the lead. I rarely hold the door open for a woman.”

yes… you used the word “rarely”… which means you do it often, othewise you would have said never. so you are the one that goes inside first… because you want to protect the woman? this is chivalry… something you DONT WANT TO DO, according to you.
you are contradicting yourself.

joseph says:

“Do I ever use self-deprecating humor? Yes, but it’s rare.”

you are overcompensating, man… again, YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME.

“Now if a girl comes over, sex is the first thing on the table (if I want it).”

if you want it? HAHAHAHAHAHAH the correct choice of words would be “IF YOU WOULD BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET IT”.

“She is a sex object. She’s a whore. She’s my whore, there to do with as I please. And the things we do are unspeakably dirty.”

do you actualy let her know what you think about her? or this is just thoughts you have in your head that are trying to espace thru your mouth but cant, because you have no balls?

She is your whore? do you own her, man? i keep hearing similar things from clingy, overcontrolling, stalking type of people.

joseph says:

you brag about dirty things you do in bed. expand on that, please.
where would you learn all the tricks?
because according to this website you were a virgin most of your life.
and possible still is. i see no field reports here… only 1 picture of you and some girl. she could be your sister for all i know.

relentless d says:

Objectifying women…isnt that exactly what we’re taught not to be doing? I guess thats why so many of us are struggling here.

joseph: Although this blog is mainly about approaching, there are field reports (just click on the subject on the right) and sex tactics buried in here. Start searchin mate, good luck!

joseph says:

relentless d: thank you, i appreciate it. but i doubt they are real.
seems like they are something written for an english class.
no pictures, no video. dont believe anything posted on the internet.

Dylan says:

Heeey Eric. Uhhh… usually I love your stuff… it generally seems ‘gentler’ and healthier than most of the PUA stuff out there. Not in a wimpy way but in a way that shows an understanding of the depth and complexity of problems guys face.

“first and foremost, we’re lovers” is fine but “She is a sex object. She’s a whore.” seems to be going a bit far.

Hell if you actually think that, and you think its actually… helpful to think that way then fine.

It just seems like a big enough change in… tone to deserve more explanation.

Eric Disco says:

Hi Guys,

Thanks for the question and I understand the concern that this may come across as degrading or misogynist.

To be clear, women in everyday life aren’t sex objects and the women in my relationships aren’t literally whores. Every person has a responsibility and obligation to treat women with respect.

I would not walk up to a woman on the street and call her a whore.

However, within some kinds mutually established relationships, things you say and do can be very different than what happens in everyday social interactions. Dominance, role play, dirty talk and other forms of power play are extremely healthy and expressive. And a lot of fun.

This isn’t something forced onto someone, but rather a very coordinated interplay of feedback ensuring that all parties involved are enjoying it.

So to be clear, telling a woman she’s a sex object or a whore can be a great part of dirty talk and role playing during sex, but its something that needs to be felt out and usually works best with someone you know pretty well.

Eric

Eric Disco says:

you brag about dirty things you do in bed. expand on that, please.
where would you learn all the tricks?

Hi Joseph,

I understand you have some trepidation about whether the things I’m posting are “real.” I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. You’re welcome to believe whatever you want. In fact, I encourage you to read with skepticism everything in the community (and things in general). On top of that, whether this seems true to you, my approach may or may not be suitable for you. I am, however, happy to answer any question or concerns to be the best of my ability.

Some of what I’ve learned about being sexual in bed has come from experimentation, talking with friends who are excellent with women, and reading in general.

If you’re looking to spice up what happens in the bedroom, I can recommend a few things to start with.

It’s great to be physically skilled as a lover, but more importantly, you want to activate her imagination. For this I recommend dirty talk and role playing. I put them together because they are almost interchangeable.

It’s great if you’re in a relationship, because it’s a fun and easy way to explore this stuff. You’re already familiar with the girl, so there’s a lot of trust there. This stuff can be executed earlier in relationships with women, even on the first date, but my recommendation is to explore it first in relationships.

Role Playing

Her and I are in a conversation about the TSA. Is it violating our civil liberties? Are people over-reacting? Blah blah blah. We’re talking about logical stuff. Then I say to her, what if you were getting frisked by a TSA agent like this (I push her up against the wall) and he started to feel down your sides (I run my hands down her sides) and he got to your legs and started running his hands up inside your legs…

And so the role play continues. I’m the TSA agent, and she’s the hapless traveler. Eventually I tell her I’m going to have to inspect her more closely in a private screening room (my bedroom).

It’s fun and harmless and you can tell if she’s enjoying it because she’ll be playing along.

A lot of great role plays are power plays (policeman, doctor, etc.) and a great way to start them out is “What would you do if…” and then start doing it to her as if you’re the policeman or doctor.

Dirty Talk

Dirty talk is a bit interchangeable with role play in that you are implying a role when you say it to her.

So she may say to me “I need to borrow your drill.” My response is (as usual) “What’s it worth to you?” I’m implying that she’s only going to get borrow my drill if she sleeps with me.

Again, if she’s into it, she’ll play along. “Well, what do you want for it?” she says. “Wow, it’s gonna be a lot, I love that drill.” And eventually I’ve convinced her to have sex with me in exchange for borrowing my drill.

Now, we’re dating, so we would have had sex anyway, and I would have let her borrow my drill anyway, but by talking dirty, it stokes both our imaginations.

By the time we’re in bed, I’m calling her my whore and asking if she does this with all the guys. Yes, it’s degrading, but you’ll find that a lot of women have fantasies about stuff like this.

It’s pure fantasy. It stays in the bedroom, so to speak. I don’t really think she’s promiscuous or anything. She wouldn’t really sleep with a guy to borrow his drill. But it makes everything more exciting.

Eric

Cameron says:

Joseph,

notice that you’ve totally reacted to Erics post and made him wrong for posting it.

Is it possible that your reacting because you’ve been acting really “nice” and not getting any girls and all this time the girls wanted you to treat them like your sex object?

Nonstop says:

Great post Eric.
How funny that you post about a deeper level of relationship/game and get so much flak. I guess a site labeled as ‘Approach’ attracts mostly guys that aren’t ready to get into dominance/rp stuff yet.

http://bit.ly/eDnius

Don’t let the naysayers keep you from posting new stuff.

Relentless says:

I think i liked erics responce to the comments better than this blog post itself. Thanks for clearing up your message a little bit man, rock on!

…lol @ tsa role play…genius

Carl888 says:

I am reading posts on this site since 6 months. Some helped me through periods of depression and self-doubt, some helped me to just improve myself. I profited from nearly everything I read. I thought I should write a line expressing my deep appreciation for what you achieve on this site, Eric. But where? There are so many well-written and to-the-point posts.

I’m just starting up a new relationship and feel myself gliding into old nice guy habits. While I’m fighting against it I find this post! So this is a great place. So (though I’m only chiming in with many others): Thanks, Eric, for another great post helping me to improve myself and be happier in my interactions with women.

Eric says:

Thanks, Eric, for another great post helping me to improve myself and be happier in my interactions with women.

I appreciate the feedback. Hearing feedback like this makes it all worthwhile for me.

Eric

joseph says:

to Eric.

my point is your whole post reeks of indecisiveness. you overcompensate… you change your mind all the time like a woman. by writting it you try to make you mind think that all of these things you say are true… they are not.

your fake alphaness will get your stabbed on the street.

ps.
so by dirty sex you mean roleplay? is this the best you could come up with. that article that you written in comment section sounds like it was taken off cosmopolitan or “askmen.com” website.
what a boring dork. i was hoping you scratch her anus with your mouth… or let her urinate on you.

joseph says:

mmm… i see you got a large virgin army protecting your back.

they really like stories you tell them… its like a man dreaming about winning lottery one day… but its not gonna happen.
once you were born a beta, you will always stay one.
neither one of them will act… neither one of them will approach.

- THanks Eric, keep posting more of these articles! you really helped me.
- oh, yeah, how did it change your life?
- well, i feel more confident, i can approach any woman i want now!
- when was the last time you approached anybody?
- …… there was 1 time at bar… but…. anyway… the point is im more confident than i ever been… all bitches now love me.

joseph says:

you never denied my analysis of your original post. so you agree with the points i made.

once again, does the woman go over and give you a massage once you tell her to… OR… DOES SHE LAUGH AT THE IDEA OF IT?
as i said you can write anything you want on internet, it wont make it true.

i do have a problem with people like you, Eric.
you scam emotionally unstable people into giving you money to teach them something you dont have a hung of.

swgr says:

Good stuff eric as always. I noticed you said its easy to amp up the sexual tension when you do it from the start. But my current girl is a “good girl” with literally no sexual experience and she’s super shy. I had sex with her recently and she’s still super quiet after sex and I find it hard to say dirty or raunchy stuff to her. Does this stuff work the same way even with girls like her? And also since I haven’t really been ultra sexual(more romantic than anything) is there any pointers you can give me to make it a little more exciting? I’ve experimented talking dirty but it hasn’t worked quite as good since she doesn’t really respond back..what else can I do?
More than anything its for me because I’m getting bored that she just doesn’t bring it like other girls I’ve been with before. Any help would be great. And don’t acknowledge the haters bro..they’ll tire out eventually.

Axel says:

Hey Joe:

If Eric was after our money, then why is his product limited to 5 people on planet earth?

If none of the people here ever take any action, then how do you explain all of the threads in the forum?

Your arguments are faulty.

joseph says:

to Axel.

you believe everything that some unknown people post on forum?
they exaggerate, they tell half-truths, they cherry pick what to write about and what not. you should have no reason to trust them, unless you were present at the time of action and saw everything with your own eyes.

a lot of people here are isolated, they are lonely. they have no friends outside the internet. by posting on forum, they try to make themselves feel better, and to build some status up. get cheered up. “WAY TO GO MAN. IM HAPPY FOR YOU!”

by never taking any action, i meant:
90% do nothing
10% – act
those who act – fail miserable. and never try acting again.

you cant go from totaly lonely individual to someone who has exceptional talking skills by reading an article on forum.

joseph says:

to Axel.

well, thats how all marketers start up. right now its only 5 people…
tomorrow, who knows – 100 of them. click on the “coaching” link at top.
and read stuff that is there. every internet scammer uses one of those pages. 100 % satisfaction! LOL

have you ever gotten a popup advertisement while browsing internet with 1 of those huge articles proving how some product is supperior than other? i sure had. make 1000 dollars a week from home!
WHAT A DEAL! IT GOTTA BE REAL!

now the question to you:

HAVE YOU APPROACHED ANYONE SINCE FINDING THIS SITE?

neither Eric nor you, Axel, denied my analysis of original post. tell me, do you have any problems with it.
DO YOU NOT AGREE THAT HE IS PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING HE IS NOT.

Axel says:

What analysis? I see only half assed attacks based upon pessimistic assumptions designed to bring him down.
My problem with it is first and foremost that you spend time and energy assuming that everything is a lie and then prance forwards in rightous indignation and crusade to take down the naughty quack, the con man, the misguider of the blind children, and bring ‘truth to the people’ or whatever you think you’re doing. Strictly as an aside, you strike me as a negative dullard.

In answer to your question, I have never claimed to have done any cold approaches. I do mostly interactions and try to just simply talk to women when I’m out and about.
Look up my stories in the forums, you will see my accounts in copious dull detail and it will say the same as I do here: I don’t do cold approaches because I cannot bring myself to do it without being pushed. I do however make the most of talking to the women I meet, and I do meet a good small amount.

I have never claimed to have become some casanova after coming to this site, though it has improved my life in more than one way.

As far as marketing: Yes I’ve seen the same set up before. That’s how shit gets sold. Whatever.

No one is forcing me to give Eric Disco one red cent. if I do, it’d be because I believe in his products, because I have put parts of it in use in my daily life.

MrAntiquity says:

Hm…

This is a great site most of the time…but this is definitely a step down into the run-of-the-mill ‘hey, look what a player I am!’ kind of mentality.

It’s almost as if someone else wrote it. Most of your posts steer people towards maturity–this steers them towards grade school. Yes, you need to keep tension/excitement/sexuality up in a relationship, no question about that. But most of what you’re describing here is gamey and tactical. Why not hold a door open? What are you proving–either to the girl or yourself–by having her be tugged along at every juncture? That’s not manliness…that’s false dominance. Plus you’ve neglected the mutuality that is required for really solid interactions.

Bastian says:

People should stop to read the text letter for letter. The whole point from this post is to show that women are just as sexual and dirty as a guy. Take the lead, a woman is not a porcelain doll. All of course based on a positive and healthy relationship.

Good stuff Eric!

joseph says:

to Axel.

I HAVE MADE ASSUMPTIONS, BUT NEITHER ONE OF THEM WAS PROVEN FALSE.
you have already made your mind about him. no matter what i write, it wont change it. deny and rationalize every word in his favor.

“I do mostly interactions and try to just simply talk to women when I’m out and about.”

thats right, man. YOU DO NO APPROACHES. the only time you actually get to talk to woman is when they start talking to your first. keep telling yourself that reading articles on internet has changed you.

“I have never claimed to have become some casanova after coming to this site, though it has improved my life in more than one way.”

you wrote a huge paragraph personally attacking me, but left such an important part out. tell us about it.

“No one is forcing me to give Eric Disco one red cent. if I do, it’d be because I believe in his products, because I have put parts of it in use in my daily life.”

so you are prepared to give him your money, even thou you know he
is using scamming tactics? you no longer think for yourself. you have made a religious figure out of Eric. do what you master tells you to.

joseph says:

to Eric.

that little picture you have in on your coaching page doesnt look like it was talken using digital camera. it seems to be a scan of an actual photo.

from what year is it? 2001? 1993?

KL says:

“*Note: I’m referring to dirty talk and role playing within a mutually established relationship.”

Haha, really? I thought you were advocating a return to barbarian days of sex slavery. Haha, just kidding.

Good ideas on sexual tension, Eric. Walking up and talking to a woman is one thing, but connecting on a sexual level is a whole different ball game. And it’s vital… if you want to actually, you know, have sex :)

“Fuck chivalry, I take the lead. I rarely hold the door open for a woman.”

I must say I’m not sure I agree with this one. I don’t think I have ever met a single woman who didn’t enjoy having a guy get the door. It’s about being protected, he’s looking out for her, she feels like a lady, it’s romantic, etc.

I can see this maybe working with a super smoking babe who you’re trying to “put in her place” so to speak, because the whole damn world holds doors open for her, so it’s not special to her. Also if you have a group of girls–going into a club, for example. The guy walking in first, with a group of girls behind him, is definitely the fucking man, the leader of the women.

But with an individual girl who hasn’t been worshipped by the male race all her life (which is most pretty girls), not sure this would work. It wouldn’t be a deal breaker, but I’m not sure she would appreciate it.

Ratan says:

Great post, Eric. One of your best.

Cheers!

Bastian says:

I wonder if joseph is just a lonely guy from Puahate….

Let me check…….

Yepp, there you are on Puahate. You seem to be quite angry?

Eric Disco says:

I don’t think I have ever met a single woman who didn’t enjoy having a guy get the door. It’s about being protected, he’s looking out for her, she feels like a lady, it’s romantic, etc.

Okay, so if your woman is wearing a dress and high-heels and you want to walk her on your arm, awesome. Go for it. Treat her like a lady.

If you were brought up as a nice guy like I was, being chivalrous around women is almost second nature to you. Maybe you even gain some self-esteem from it. You probably also gained some self-esteem from viewing yourself as a nice guy.

What you want to careful with when it comes to chivalry is a few things:

You are usually better off breaking convention than following it. Being overly polite and courteous usually serves to kill attraction more than build it up. If you find yourself using a lot of niceties, you might be slipping into nice guy zone. I even try to avoid as much as possible saying things like please and thank you. You’d be surprised how much more fun and playful or sincere and genuine you become when you don’t follow societal conventions.

Doesn’t mean you should never follow conventions, but you should question it. You’ve spent your entire life following society’s messages that was ingrained to you: don’t initiate interactions with women you don’t know. That’s not proper. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t do anything inappropriate. Be super respectful of women and keep them at a distance. etc. Part of the process in becoming better with women is abandoning the restraints and prop-ups of social convention and tapping into your animal desire and instincts in a way that turns her on as well.

Being overly chivalrous and treating her like a princess will kill attraction. You don’t want to start doing everything for her simply because she’s a woman. Look at the extreme. Are you going to lay down your coat over a puddle so she can walk on it? Probably not. Are you going to start doing things for her simply because she’s a woman? Making sure you’re chivalrous can lead down the road of you being the chump she walks all over. You may find yourself constantly checking in with her to see how she feels, what she wants, instead of doing what you should be doing which is first and foremost checking in how you feel and what you want and playing it from there. Taking the lead will make her feel a lot more like a woman than constantly checking in with her for what she wants to do.

Pure chivalry is courting behavior. That means you are trying to win her over. You’re taking her to dinner. You’re paying for her. You’re propping her up on a pedastal because she’s a woman and therefore she deserves it. Attractive women are so used to men being courteous and chivalrous that they tend to group behavior like this into expectations. By feeding into chivalry you are simply feeding into her expectation that she deserves to be treated like a princess and that she deserves to be fawned over. For women who are used to this from a lot of men, it easily leads her to feeling like she deserves better than you.

Be protective rather than chivalrous. Some chivalrous actions, like the woman always goes first, are not necessarily protective. You open the door to your dark apartment. You’re going to let her go in first? That’s not protective. You are entering into some bar and don’t know what’s in there. You are going to let her go first? If anything, think about what you believe to be protective and go for that rather than following what society believes to be chivalrous and obeying conventions. Sometimes they may be the same, sometimes not.

Eric

Karma says:

@Joseph
Joesph, here’s my analysis of your “analysis” : You’re no different from the other chumps who don’t get it. Wait, actually you’re different. You’re a troll who will keep posting incessantly even on Christmas eve. Which makes you not just a chump but a trolling chump without a life! How the f**k does it matter if Eric’s photo was from 1993? If it really were that old, then it means he had game* even back then, which defeats the point of your post doesn’t it? Do you see how you’re f**king your own ass with your posts? Oh wait, you wouldn’t see that because your head is stuck inside your ass! :)

p.s. Just the fact that Eric has approved all your comments should have made you show some good grace and stop shooting your mouth off like that.

*I’m sure Eric would be the first to admit he had no game back in 1993.

joseph says:

to Karma.
are you his general of white knight cavalry?
it is Eric’s job to defend himself, not yours. he still cant answer my questions.
look how angry you got that im questioning your masters teachings. because all of you are used to accepting shit from him without any thinking… like sheep.

neither one of you approaches, otherwise you wouldnt be still here.
YOU ARE ALL WAITING FOR A SPECIAL ARTICLE THAT WILL FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS.

Eric, stop posting articles from “askmen.com” in your comment section.

i will ask again.
WHEN WAS YOUR PICTURE IN COACHING SECTION TAKEN?
2001? 1993? is it from the time you went to high school?

joseph says:

to Karma.

“How the f**k does it matter if Eric’s photo was from 1993? If it really were that old, then it means he had game* even back then, which defeats the point of your post doesn’t it?”

you are right. he had no game back then. and he has no game right now.

you dont need to be casanova in order to have a picture taken with a girl. we dont even know how she is. SHE COULD BE HIS SISTER FOR ALL WE KNOW.

he has no recent pictures.

he could be writing from a wheelchair. or maybe he fell down from skyscraper and is now lying on bed with every bone broken… and he dares to give out approaching advices :-/

Karma says:

@ Joseph

“it is Eric’s job to defend himself, not yours. he still cant answer my questions”

Well, he has already responded generously to you. But if you have any more questions, you have to prove that your head is not stuck inside your ass.

“i will ask again. WHEN WAS YOUR PICTURE IN COACHING SECTION TAKEN? 2001? 1993? is it from the time you went to high school?”

Uh oh, there you go with more questions. Dude, I JUST explained the pre-requisites to have follow-up questions answered here! First you have to provide proof that your head is not stuck inside your ass, only then do you become eligible to ask follow-up questions here. So go on, prove it.

Lee says:

@Joseph Dude! Get a grip. In the NYC area, almost everyone in the game knows Eric. He’s appeared at meet ups. He’s coached workshops. He’s been quoted in magazines. He has many, many current and former students. A certain amount of skepticism is healthy, but what you are doing borders on the delusional. Eric’s way above sending you all the links and documentation but it’s all there if you want to look for it. It’s all on the web, some of it from only a few months ago. Look at the podcasts section of this site. It’s a who-is-who of the community. Go try to interview these guys. They will laugh in your face. Eric knows all of them because he’s a great coach, with a unique and very well thought out methodology. As a former student of Eric’s, I’ll tell you this. No one who talks the way you do can be good with women. I don’t know where you’re writing from, but if you’re anywhere in the New York area, there is only one path to the truth and it’s called a sarge off. Me. You. One afternoon. Two hours. Only eights and above and only confirmed dates count, not numbers. Eric may be above this shit, but I am not. Peace, brothah.

Axel says:

To little Joe:

“thats right, man. YOU DO NO APPROACHES. the only time you actually get to talk to woman is when they start talking to your first. keep telling yourself that reading articles on internet has changed you. ”

Actually I do approach women. READ CAREFULLY: I do not do cold approaches, but I try to talk to as many women I can.

I approach/talk to mostly hired guns, IE. store clerks and the like, but also to women where I work. I usually do what I can to cross paths with the women there and have a fun chat with them. I start the conversations and I enjoy myself. I also flirt a lot with the women in my choir. It’s fun, try it sometime!

The internet articles have not changed me. I have used them to change myself.

“you wrote a huge paragraph personally attacking me, but left such an important part out. tell us about it.”

I never left it out, I added it a bit further down in the post. Was that too complicated for you?

Now, seeing as you’ve been so visceral and raging, I will include this:

I can’t help thinking: Why is this person mouthing off so stubbornly at christmas? Why isn’t he having a good time with someone dear to him?
Is it perhaps that you feel ill emotions about not having a woman to be with, that you first get upset with the world for not bringing you a woman?
Then next, you look at the Attraction Industry and how it prospers and how unattainable the whole aspect of getting a woman is, and how it must be false for it never worked for you?
Then you look at a site such as this and decide “I’m gonna bring this asshole down!” to numb the pain of your solitude?

Because that’s certainly how it seems.

memen97 says:

Its obvious Joseph is Tyler Durden..minus the cheezy pickup lines and the red hair and freckles.

U r a joke dude.

Rock on Eric..I use this stuff and learn more everyday. We are MEN

Francis says:

Eric has not answered simply because he doesn’t feel the need to defend himself from a useless internet troll. :D

Karma says:

@Lee

“there is only one path to the truth and it’s called a sarge off. Me. You. One afternoon. Two hours.”

Perhaps that’s what Joseph was really after : a FREE 2 hour demo/lesson. Now you’d better hope he doesn’t take you up on your offer. ;)

Lee says:

@karma Ha! True, true. But watching a magic trick is not the same as studying to be a magician :-)

Nicee. THINKING about sex helps to. Not that I believe in some Wu-Du spiritual thing, but people DO tend to give off a sexual vibe if they focus on their own sexual energies.

Jon says:

Damn Joseph, you seem to spend more time posting on this website than you do being out there respecting women.

Dude, you got a chip on your shoulder in the shape of a vagina.

Thank you says:

The more u guys fuck around, the more women for me :) Good luck argueing on this blog. I mean Read the fucking thing and go and fucking use it. Happy New Years

2much says:

Joseph seems like a dude who doesn’t like people much. Lighten up, what’s the fun in bringing everyone down?

Before I found this site, I hadn’t kissed a girl(at least no memorable kisses, the kind that you remember afterwards) Taking small steps at a time(and growing some balls in the meantime) I started regularly dating girls and got to the point where after a relationship was over, I had no problems finding another girl I really liked. It took me 5 girls, 20+ dates until I got to the point where I could keep a girl for a relationship. And it really has a lot to do with creating sexual tension, taking control of the relationship and all that good stuff. I learned by making mistakes, losing a couple of girls I really liked for being too clingy/submissive. Sure it was crushing for a while, but you live and you learn! Soon you notice that there really are plenty of fish in the sea, and it’s fun to be a solid fisherman(I can’t say I’m great, but I’m pretty solid!)

Nowadays I really like where I’m at. I’ve become so much more social than I was before and have surrounded myself with a core of friends I can really trust and rely on.

I realized recently that I’ve become LESS picky about the girls I date. Not saying that I’ve lowered my standards for looks, oh no! I’m talking about being able to really relate to and appreciate different kinds of women. For me that’s what it’s all about.

I used to spend so much energy trying to find girls who listened to same kind of music, liked the same movies etc. I guess it was due to my inability to relate to any girl. I mostly listen to jazz, and haven’t met any cute girl who listens to jazz anyway, so it’s not a very good starting point!

Oh my god, I’m just rambling on now… Well it happens everytime I talk about myself and women… and music. And being a Finnish person, I guess my ramblings in english are not pretty!

Just wanted to jump in and thank Eric Disco(who I’ve never met, but would love to have beer with) for being a great source of inspiration in the beginning! And for the guys here who are struggling with this stuff: There are many ways to succeed, push yourself but remember to relax and HAVE FUN!

Axel says:

I liken it to having a booze habit.

When you’re on the wagon, and you’ve not had a drop for years, you’ll only jump off for the finest French wine or Scottish whiskey that is a certain colour and smell a certain way.
Contrary wise, if you’re drinking, you want to explore and drink all the kinds of wonderful spirits the world has to offer. And if you are drunk continously, you will drink nearly everything, not caring for anything other than the temporary satisfaction.

I used to think I needed to find a girl that likes art and heavy metal, and I’d be set. I’ve had one of those, and I’ve realised that musical taste and all that stuff doesn’t matter as much as her attitude towards life and other people.

I like them positive and cheery, and I have my eye on one such now. Using what I’ve learnt here I can make it happen. Just a matter of logistics and perserverence now, fingers crossed.

JasFilie says:

About the chivalry thing: A man should walk into unknown places first, to “clear the room” if you will. At known/safe places however, a man should let her go in first as not to let her leave his sight.
This is actually more of a instinctive thing, made into a chivalry thing. Sociology has spoken.

memen97 says:

@JasFilie

lol..sociology has spoken..cheers man!

Slomo says:

Joseph

Are you infact a woman because you moan and whine like one?

Passerby says:

Have you ever even dated a woman with any self respect? Or for that matter, ANY woman at all? If you have, seriously dude, it’s not cool to date lobotomy survivors just to make yourself feel better about your own inadequacies.

A normal woman would want an equal partner she could respect and who would respect her, not some kind of frustrated asshole who can’t reach the bottom of a shot glass. Confident guys don’t date meek submissive little princesses, just like Karate masters don’t go around picking fights with toddlers.

But fear not, there is still help for you:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackeds-reluctant-advice-how-to-get-girls-to-like-you/

You’re welcome.

Jeff says:

Wow, Joseph needs to really change his tampon and reellaaaaxx.. Don’t look into it so much.

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