I’m walking through the farmer’s market in Union Square Park with my student. It’s packed with people.

He’s practicing initiating interactions by simply asking for an opinion.

He spots a cute girl with her friend moving along the crowded walkway.

He walks up next to her, leans in and, while walking, asks, “Excuse me, miss, do you know if there’s a good sushi restaurant around here?”

She’s immediately creeped out. “No,” she says tersely and turns her back to him. Her and her friends give each other a ¡Ælook’ as they scramble away.

He comes back over to me, visibly shaken. He seems lost in thought. He’s creeped her out and, in turn, I can tell he feels terrible.

I know the feeling. I’ve been there plenty of times myself.

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In my eternal exploration for things fun and entertaining, I went to a talk/group discussion that was being given by an evolutionary psychologist.

The topic was about what it means to be “cool.”

I was pleasantly surprised.

The woman giving the talk was a self-professed “urban ethologist” which, she said, is another name for an evolutionary psychologist.

While a bit too aqueous to get much concrete out of the discussion, we did talk about some interesting aspects of what it means to be “cool.”

The discussion at some point moved into talk about pickup artists.

Even within a group of 20 open-minded decently educated young people in New York City, there were a group of detractors and a group of supporters.

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Socially anxiety is often accompanied by something else that few people, particularly in the community, are willing to talk about: depression.

When attempting to take action, it usually seems that anxiety is the main thing stopping us.

You want to take action, but anxiety feels like a brick wall in your way. You simply can’t do it.

But if social anxiety is a brick wall, depression is a fifty pound backpack filled with bricks.

It sucks up all your energy and enjoyment and makes you want to just go home and be anti-social, to not even attempt to get past your anxiety.

In some ways, guys who are trying to improve themselves with women are more susceptible to depression.

I recently met a guy who had actually turned into an alcoholic in part because it was so difficult for him to handle the highs and lows assoicated with this game.

Learning to get better with women is not an easy road. Read the rest of this entry »

Today we have another excellent post by my good friend Robbie Kramer from Inner Confidence.

Being a smart person is usually a good thing. However, when it comes to meeting and dating women, it can sometimes get in the way.

There are many ways where over thinking about dating and meeting women hurts you.

It’s not easy to just stop thinking. Stopping automatic thoughts won’t work. But there are some things you can do instead.

Be your own best friend.

At some time in point, there has to be a shift in the way you talk to yourself about meeting and dating women.

Instead of the voice that beats you up, you’ve got to be your own best friend and pat yourself on the back for trying. Read the rest of this entry »