My Favorite Banter to Kill Boring Conversation

by Eric Disco
Sep 10

bennewmanart.blogspot.com20What’s your name? Where are you from? What do you do?

Oh my god, she’s thinking to herself. Another boring conversation.

She starts to answer with the same thing she’s said ten thousand times.

She’s getting bored to tears. But then…

You bust on her. All of a sudden she’s having fun again.

Here’s some banter you can use to make almost any conversation fun and playful.

Got your own favorite banter? Share it in the comments.

She Tells You Where She’s From – “Oh no, a [location] girl? You guys are trouble.” When she asks why, “[location] girls are all brats” or “They’re always hitting on me. They’re really grabby.”

Artist, painter, sculptor ? “Oh my god, you’re not going to ask to draw me naked, are you? I’m not falling for that again!”

Musician, poet, writer ? “So where do you get your inspiration for writing? Do you need someone to break your heart? Because I’m really good at that.”

Finance ? “Oh my god, are you a rich girl?! Because I’ve been looking for a rich girl so I can stay home all day and sit on the couch, eat potato chips and watch TV.”

Student ? “Oh my god, are you cutting classes right now?”

Cashiers

“I’ll take 17 cups of coffee.”

“I’ll take a large coffee. And put a little extra love in it for me!”

bennewmanart.blogspot.com9“I’ll take a massage and a warm bath.

“So what do they pay you here, like $10,000 a week? No? That’s too bad. I was going to ask you out. But I’m looking for a rich girl.”

You run into her again ? “That’s so cute, are you following me?” The ¡Æthat’s so cute’ part is important.

Talking about the weather ? “Oh my god, I am hiring you as my meteorologist.” Or “What’s with this horrible weather? You did something to anger God, didn’t you?”

How are you? You say “Hi, How are you?” She says good. And then asks how you are. You say “Oh my god, I thought you’d never ask! ”

She’s carrying a shopping bag or says she went shopping ? “What did you get me?” When she starts to answer cut her off and say “No wait, just surprise me with it later.”

You look in her shopping cart ? “Spaghetti sauce? Again? That’s the fifth time this week!”

Women’s Clothing Section – Hold up an article of women’s clothing (dress, high-heels, etc). “What do you think, is this me? Does it match my eyes?”

She spills a drink or does something stupid ? “I can’t take you anywhwere. Go wait in the car. This is why you can’t have nice things.”

You’re In line in front of her ? “You’re not trying to cut in front of me are you? Because I’m pretty tough” Or if you’re in line behind her: “I’m not trying to cut in front of you. I wouldn’t do that. You look pretty tough.”

She Tells You Her Name and it’s Strange – “Oh my god, you’re the fourth [her name] I’ve met today!”

At work

“They’re working you to the bone. Do they chain you to your desk at night?”

“Do they ever let you out of here? ”

“Admit it, you don’t do any work around here.”

“Stop flirting with me and get back to work!”

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posted in Attraction, Banter

COMMENTS
25 responses
Joel says:

Hi guys
I’m a Spaniard man. English is not my first language and I can read pretty well, but can’t discern words from hearing a native person speech.
And I’ve got some video conference from David Deangelo.
And I wonder if somebody could transcript them (English audio -> English text) for all of us who can read, but can’t hear English language?
Is there a website in which I could ask for this assignment? Another site or a more suitable forum?

Thanks a lot from a very grateful approach-knowledge-hunger guy

ayuda says:

Joel, mandame un mensaje: essubsplz@gmail.com . depienda
de cuantos minutos lo dura, es probable que te puedo ayudar.

Cameron says:

Hey eric, great lines man.

One thing I’d like to say about banter, is you have to be in a good mood to deliver them. if your in a bad-ass mood then you can’t banter.

The most important thing about bantering is to HAVE FUN when you deliver the lines, if your having fun, then your probably attractive.

My problem with some of the PU101 banter is its really cutesy and unmanly:

“Your so cute!”
“Your such a dork!”

It makes me want to vomit. It’s not treating her as a sexual being.

Now that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for some guys but because I would never, ever say this it doesn’t work for me.

All the roleplay stuff or stuff with sexual connotations is WAAY better imo.

Like the whole husband and wife thing is a classic IMO.

Nonstop says:

I forget the source, but even in my beginning stages I was able to use the line “You’re the second hottest person here… right behind me” or however it goes with success.

Eric Disco says:

My problem with some of the PU101 banter is its really cutesy and unmanly:

“Your so cute!”
“Your such a dork!”

Yeah, in the past I’ve found myself gravitating toward non-sexual banter because it was less of a risk for me. I had some fear and inhibition using more sexual banter because there was more of a risk of rejection or creeping the girl out. But taking risks rather than playing it safe tend to make the interaction better, even though there is a higher chance of rejection.

Eric

Cameron says:

Thanks Eric, I know I’ve done this a lot too and held back because I was scared, but you get the results when you go more sexual.

I remember I was afraid to say to a girl “Your so sexy”, and when I say afraid, I mean terrified, it took me a week to work up up the courage to say it, when I finally said it I got a GREAT reaction, the girl totally shot me this flirtatious look and grabbed my hand, it was like, is THAT what I was so afraid of?

Btw, my previous post was supposed to end

“My problem with some of the PU101 banter is its really cutesy and unmanly:

“Your so cute!”
“Your such a dork!”

It makes me want to vomit. It’s not treating her as a sexual being.

Now that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for some guys but because it would.

But it would never work for me.

All the roleplay stuff or stuff with sexual connotations is WAAY better imo.

Like the whole husband and wife thing is a classic IMO.

Relentless says:

I absolutely love this post!

One small banter line ive used:

Cashiers who dont ask how im doing, or how my day is i say something along the lines of:

‘What kind of service is this?!? I walk in here and your not going to ask how my days going?’ They then ask the question and i respond ‘its too late for that now, it doesnt count. Get your manager out here.’

lmao you gotta be there

Eric Disco says:

‘What kind of service is this?!? I walk in here and your not going to ask how my days going?’ They then ask the question and i respond ‘its too late for that now, it doesnt count. Get your manager out here.’

lmao you gotta be there

This is actually a great example of how delivery is key. Just reading this on the paper, it sounds like you’re being a total asshole. But in actuality, when you’re doing it, you have a smile on your face and you’re letting her know that you are only kidding.

Some people have criticized the use of ‘Oh my god’ and ‘Oh man’ in this article. But those are magic words when it comes to banter. Particularly if you’re nervous, it is difficult to convey through body language that you’re joking with her. Saying ‘oh my god’ makes it clear to her that you’re joking.

Eric

Cman says:

Hi Eric,

How do you deal with situations where the banter goes over the head of the girl? e.g. if she takes it literally. I live in an Asian country where a lot of time girls (and guys) take my Western banter literally, even if I am smiling when I deliver it. A classic example would be if I used the “You’re the 4th I’ve met today!” she’d respond with a confused “Wow, that’s surprising, I thought I had a rare name” :o)

I guess I need to tune my banter a bit better and make sure I’m smiling when I deliver it, though I usually/always am I think.

How do you recover if the girl completely misses your banter as being banter??

Thanks

Eric Disco says:

If a girl completely misses your banter, or takes offense, you can always say “I’m just playin.”

I’ve bantered with plenty of Asian girls and they know when I’m bantering. So I don’t think it’s the Asian country, unless people don’t really joke around as much over there for some reason.

You just need to do a few things to make sure she gets you’re joking:

- Put it over the top. Make it really absurd. For example, instead of saying, “I’m gonna make you my girlfriend,” which she might not get, say “We are totally going to Vegas and getting Married!”

- Make sure you are exaggerating your face and voice tone when you say it. Think how you would talk to a little kid. Your friends know you and know that you’re joking, but a stranger might not.

- Give her a tap on the arm when you say it.

Eric

Cameron says:

One thing I’d like to add, is that you can use banter to screen for the kind of women that YOU find attractive.

For example, I started flirting with these girls yesterday, straight away they were playing back with me, flirting, being loud, smiling….

It told me a lot

1 They were socially smart
2 They were fun
3 They were friendly, nice people
4 They were probably interested in me.

So, you can use banter to look for the kind of qualities in a girl that you want.

It may not be your fault she doesn’t get your joking, she may be socially dumb or no fun.

Xamuel says:

Here’s a cool image which will help make conversation flow. Burn it into your mind and keep it there at all times, because it’s true and it’s gold and it’s a golden key. Courtesy xkcd: http://xkcd.com/610/

KL says:

Eric, thank you for some really cool ideas on banter here. My problem has often been 2 things, (1) that I joke, tease, or flirt too much, and (2) that girls often don’t get my teasing or joking (guess my mind moves too fast). So these are definitely some good points to keep in mind.

Somewhat related, here is a funny little line I made with a female friend with a nose piercing the other day (I was being intentionally cheesy): “I can’t decide which sparkles more, your nose ring or your eyes!” She loved it, we had a good laugh. Sometimes being intentionally cheesy or dorky can help put a smile on her face, ease some awkwardness/ boringness and show social intelligence on your part.

Musician, poet, writer – “So where do you get your inspiration for writing? Do you need someone to break your heart? Because I’m really good at that.”

HAHAHAHAHA. I need to find a girl who is a singer/songwriter to use this line on her. I really think that this stupid sense of humor is perfect for my personality.

With all of this banter delivery is the key, i have said things like the above to girls and have gotten a blank stare, this is because i said it with a boring monotone voice. Just remember guys you can say anything if you say it right.

BrohamUK says:

Did this with my ex who is Lebanese and German..I don’t give out 10′s often since I’m a New yorker.

She was walking through the club..a glitter girl. Super hot..long silky black hair..fellas..she was just sexyyy!!!

I come on her LEFT side, put her hands on my biceps and just say to people in our way:

“excuse you..our wife and I cannot get to our table..please MOVE it people!”

She literally turned red and was laughing.

By the time I arrive at HER table with HER friends with HER bottle service..she introduced me to everyone.

I said:

“hey..Im Broham (used my real name though)..and your friend is my future ex-wife..you’re invited to our wedding next year..”

The dudes gave me dap and her girlfriends giggled at my non-caring exctiing conversation about NOTHINGNESS lol.

Needless to say her friends watched me like a HAWK when I kept leaving to go flirt. Me and the Lebanesian hotgirl had a 1-year relationship. Ended on MY terms btw!

SO YES..Eric is spot-on about NOT BEING BORING OR OVER THINKING.

I used HER to dull any boring nuendo’s that night. totally rode her glam-girl stratus for MY benefit.

pfft says:

Thats the worst banter ive ever seen written down anywhere. Half that shit would get you slapped by any woman with even a little class. Pua my ass

Lee says:

@pfft

This may be outside your reality, but taking chances like this is exactly what the best guys do. I’ve never seen Eric get slapped, not in hundreds of sets with every type of woman you can imagine from party girl to nun (just a slight exaggeration). I was with him when he did this set and it went as smoothly as any other. The funny thing is that Eric and I always talk about how we don’t get slapped enough, how the blowouts we experience are pretty lukewarm, and how we should be upping our game to the point where we do, more often get angry rejections. But it never happens. Get this into your head: when your game is tight, there is almost nothing you can say to a woman that is going to make her slap you.

–Lee

JonathanA says:

@pfft

here’s a short video of Alan Roger Currie speaking about being direct, very direct…

not for the faint of heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH9JKppnOB0

JonathanA says:

and

real slapping means that a woman is putting and keeping you in the friend zone anyway, right?!

Lee says:

@JonathanA

Failure is a good means of figuring out how far you can go. If Nietzsche were a pickup artist, I suspect he’d say “That which does not get me blown out makes it more likely I will get laid.” That’s how I feel. The closer I get to that blowout line without stepping over it, the better I think I will ultimately do. Without that occasional slap, I don’t know if I’m getting close to the line. 9 slaps out of 10 approaches is too much. I must be saying something that’s pissing them off. But one slap in one hundred approaches is too little. I must not be taking enough chances. The slap is my friend.

–Lee

Actual female says:

HAHAHA are you kidding me?!
If me or my friends ever heard these lines we’d:

a) be rolling our eyes
b) be wetting ourselves laughing

NO. Seriously.

Derrick says:

You have interesting ideas. How can I subscribe to your newsletter?

dave says:

Gee, you sound so WONDERFUL! I just cannot wait to meet you!

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