How to Know When She's Eye Fucking You

by Eric Disco
Sep 7

artmajeur.com_slash_patrickhitte1As I get on to the subway platform, I’m tired. It’s 9 pm and I’ve been hanging out with Glenn and a friend in the park. I’m ready to just go home and chill.

I see this incredibly cute blond girl. She glances over at me and back at the tracks.

Is she into me, I wonder to myself.

I look around the platform and notice some other cuties wandering around, looking at subway maps, walking by.

I glance back over at her and she’s looking at me again.

Okay, she is definitely looking at me.

I walk casually walk over and stand next to her. She notices my presence.

I tap her on the arm.

“If you’re gonna look at a guy like that, you should probably say hi.”

She turns and smiles. “Hi,” she says.

We start to talk. And it’s on like crazy. We get on the train together when it comes.

There’s an electricity between us.

“Are you a hard worker?” I ask her.

“Yeah,” she says.

“Let me see your hand.” She gives me her hand.

I start to feel her palms. “Hmmm. No calluses. I don’t think you’re a very hard worker.”

“I type a lot,” she says.

artmajeur.com_slash_patrickhitte9“Okay, let’s try your finger tips. Hmm… still no calluses.” I say as I start to feel her finger tips.

I don’t stop.

“Okay, I think you just want to feel my hand,” she says with a smile.

“Hmm…,” I say, looking into her eyes. “I think you want me to feel your hand.”

Picking up on when women are giving me eye contact hasn’t been my forte. I thought it was because I wasn’t getting much eye contact.

But part of the issue is that I don’t realize soon enough when they do give me eye contact.

When guys are getting good at this stuff but aren’t that great yet, it’s harder for them to pick up on signals of interest.

Because they don’t make the move that much, they practically need to be welcomed by trumpets.

As you start to take initiative more, you start to pick up on more subtle signals with women and know better when to make the move.

For me, I’m going to start assuming interest a lot sooner, even with the first glance. I think I’ve been waiting too long.

As I take initiative immediately, I suspect I’ll begin to get more sensitive when women are giving me eye contact.

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posted in Initiative and Inhibition, Subway Game

COMMENTS
20 responses
Cameron says:

Hey Eric,

Thanks for sharing that with us. One of the coolest things about you (imho) is that as well as sharing how awesome you are with the shor-tays you also share areas that you could improve as well. I think its awesome that your willing to show your not perfect and that it helps guys relate to you who might otherwise have not been able to.

all the best,

Cameron

Nonstop says:

I can definitely attest to eye contact, and noticing it from women being huge. If you wait to wonder if she’s into you until you’ve started talking, you probably already missed the signal. Nothing better than catching her glance and holding it in a way that makes her (and you) blush and smile and her turn away.

JJ says:

I keep having trouble that I just can’t seem to get around.

On online dating sites, a lot of women contact *me*. My profile is very good at least in terms of traditional checkboxes, and I am good-looking.

But after they email me, and I email back, they vanish..
Or if I get a number, we talk once, and they vanish, never returning a call the second time.

Just recently a pretty Eastern European girl contacted me. We exchanged an email, and agreed to talk on the phone at 10 PM. She suggested that time, and I agreed.

However, I see her number in my caller ID at 9:45, 15 minutes early. This is a surprise, so I don’t pick the phone up. I don’t want to appear needy and easily available, and assume this was an early shit-test. She leaves no message.

But when I do call at the agreed 10 PM time, her line is busy! I leave a basic message.

And then I never hear back…..

Everything went well, with her initiating every step, from initial email contact, to the phonecall setup. Her calling earlier than the agreed time was a surprise, but I think not picking up was the right thing.

Yet, I never heard back from her..

This happens again, and again, and again!!!

Dan says:

Hey JJ….. Ha ha… I have had that POOF thing happen to me all the time. You just got to move on and find that right one for you. Lots of women on the dating sites drone on and on about all the lying men losers on the personal ad sites…. Well…. lots of women are just the same……

Dan

Cameron says:

However, I see her number in my caller ID at 9:45, 15 minutes early. This is a surprise, so I don’t pick the phone up. I don’t want to appear needy and easily available, and assume this was an early shit-test. She leaves no message.

It wasnt a shit-test, you should have just answered the phone.

I know what your thought process is, but your over thinking things.

Just pick up the phone next time, as for the girls not calling you back, their either not attracted to you or they dont feel a connection with you, which one is it>

JJ says:

as for the girls not calling you back, their either not attracted to you or they dont feel a connection with you, which one is it

Dude, read the story again. We haven’t even met yet in person, or talked on the phone. SHE scheduled a call, and then flaked, without any interim interaction with me at all.

There was no interaction with me from which to base an interaction.

So the explanation is not as simple as you have described.

Cameron says:

Look, I see we’ve got off to a bad start, I apologise for being so curt with you. I should have been more subtle.

I am honestly trying to help out, I get that your frustrated at this girl flaking on you.

You know that its possible too get girls attracted to you or to feel an emotional connection over e-mail or the telephone.

I know its harder than in person but it can be done.

If this keeps on happening then you must be making some mistake, if the girls were really into you then they wouldn’t flake on you.

I know its hard sometimes to admit you’ve made a mistake but if you do admit you’ve made a mistake then you can correct it and get better results.

all the best,

Cameron

ps I still maintain you should have just answered her call.

KL says:

Great article, Eric. Eye contact is huge. So huge, you really don’t have anything unless you have eye contact. It’s just completely fundamental to everything, period. A woman will NEVER be attracted to a man that never looks her in the eye. When I was younger, I never made eye contact with anybody, as soon as I started making eye contact with strange girls my whole world changed, my attitude, my confidence, everything.

@ JJ:

I really don’t know much about dating sites, but is it possible some of these “girls” that contact you are just programs or spam?

And regarding the real women, it’s tough to say without knowing the content of your emails/ messages. Obviously if the girl breaks off the interaction after hearing from you, she doesn’t like what she hears. Maybe she’s not attracted by it, not turned on by it, doesn’t find it interesting/ stand out from other guys’ messages, or lots of other possibilities.

It’s also possible many of these girls are just out for validation and an ego trip, and just enjoy watching their inbox fill up with messages from guys.

Dan says:

Hey KL,
I seemed to have found women go Poof on the dating sites pretty much because they might have found another better candidate – or so they thought. Too many people are looking for that instant connection or realationship

Eric Disco says:

JJ, what kind of things are you talking about in your e-mails with these girls?

Eric

Neil says:

Nice post, Eric, even though the title is misleading. You bait us with the promise of being able to know when she is eye fucking us, but then you switch us to your solution, just assume she is eye fucking us.

Looking back on my experiences, my biggest sticking point was waiting for the trumpets before I would believe a girl was attracted to me. That was even after girls asked me out on a date and picked me up in their car. I would have had a much more satisfying social life if I assumed attraction to the girls who showed any interest at all.

Personally i never approach a girl unless we have heavy eye contact going on between us, if you approach a girl after the two of you have been eye fucking each other for a while then half of the work is done.

Cameron says:

I really need to work on this. I have this habit of staring at women like a deranged pervert. I also have a habit of looking away when she makes eye contact, which kills it.

They few times I have used eye contact game successfully, I’ve noticed a HUGE difference.

MrAntiquity says:

OK…maybe someone can help me out here.

This eye contact thing? I don’t get it. I mean…I don’t understand it at all…and I never receive it. Absolutely never. It’s basically this riddle that people throw around that they all know the answer to and I’m left out in the cold. So it really confuses me.

Now–I don’t mean eye contact DURING THE INTERACTION….or when I’m about to kiss someone…I mean eye-contact between strangers. The ‘crowded room’ phenomenon.

Here’s the thing….I’m short, about 5’3, and average looking. I’m not particularly concerned about either attribute–I’m a firm believer that confidence–particularly sexual confidence–is the key driving factor that attracts women, and I’ve found this to be the case.

But I’m not going to be turning heads on the subway either….am I missing something? Does everyone get eye contact? Am I just confused? Any insight would be helpful…

Thanks!

Cameron says:

Hey buddy,

Well firstly, in western cultures most people are very anti-stranger and person-phobic. So generally, theres not a lot of eye contact going around (apart from men ogling women).

I didnt get much eye contact until recently I started putting a lot more effort into my appearance and i started FEELING GOOD ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK (not to sound like David Ginola ;-) )

So, your right, being confident and having great body language as well as dressing well will get you a lot more eye contact.

now Im getting a lot more eye contact from women. The thing is, as my friend Sean Messenger has pointed out, women tend to look at you when your not looking at them and look away if you look round. So you either have to check the corner of your vision or whip your head round really fast to catch them checking you out (its funny when you do).

If you want to make eye contact you can always look at women and then when they look at you HOLD THEIR GAZE, the thing is this creates tension in your body (or at least it does in mine) but all you have to do is accept the uncomfortable feelings for what they are, uncomfortable feelings and you can hold her gaze, if you do this it differentiates you from 99% of men.

And yes, any time you hold a strangers gaze there is a chance there going to think your weird, but these are the risks you have to take to get somewhere. After all, if its a complete stranger then there won’t be any repurcussions, right?

As my friend Robbie Kramer taught me, theres basically 3 stages to eye contact game.

Stage 1: A guy who checks women out when there not looking but then looks away when they turn round, typical nice guy behaviour

Stage 2: You look at women and can hold their gaze when they turn round, you feel a bit uncomfortable doing this and tense up a bit, your inhibited

Stage 3: You feel totally comfortable holding the gaze of gorgeous women, you can do whatever you want when shes looking at you, wink at her, make a funny face or whatever. You have mastered eye contact game.

I’m at stage 2 myself.

eye fucker says:

I am at Stage 11 of the eye contact game. If I look at a woman on the train and she looks back, she is instantly impregnated.

MrAntiquity says:

Cameron–

Thanks–that’s really helpful.

I guess I’m between stages 1 and 2 then….I can sometimes hold a look, but feel extremely uncomfortable doing it. I tend to assume that the interaction is negative rather than positive, and that the look says ‘hey quit staring at me’. I’m usually able to hold it for about 3 seconds or so….

slowly improving…

Axel says:

I’m at 2! Wahoo!

Cameron says:

Well one thing is, she may be looking at you thinking “quit staring at me” depending on how friendly she is, how good looking she thinks you are, and your facial expression. (as i’ve mentioned, I need to work on my facial expression).

Its like Rounders, you never lose if you never put it on the table, but you never win anything either.

shrikanth says:

hy me i am a coll guy i dont look at them but they look at me but i am in nervous stage give me some help……… !!!!

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