Comments on: What Confidence Looks Like to Women

By: Lee

Lee — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 10:34:47 +0000

There are many reasons to choose a woman closer to your own age, but being 45, bald, and broke is not one of them. You’d be more correct if you were counseling wimpy, boring dudes to lower their expectations. To the extent that wimpy, boring dudes also represent a greater fraction of unattached 45 year olds, you’re right.

By: Mike Roch

Mike Roch — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 06:31:35 +0000

Dudes,

It isn’t that hard. Just keep lowering your standards until you find the one you’re looking for. Water finds its own level, you should too! We all want hot broads, but if you’re 45, bald, broke, etc. You’re not getting a hot 22 yo. Face it, and grab a nice 42 yo broad. Phuck, not so difficult.

By: I am alive

I am alive — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 07:59:34 +0000

Interesting post. Even more interesting comments. There is definitely truth to that- acting confident and “meh, i don’t care” is better than being ”if i do this, but if i do that”. At the end of the day this is not your life at stake, there are plenty of fish in the pond.

By: slimm

slimm — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 06:10:35 +0000

“If I’m feeling nervous, I can use that energy and inject it into the interaction to make it more meaningful for both of us. It’s an intensity that wouldn’t be there if I weren’t in touch with my feelings.”

I seem to avoid situations/taking actions all the time because of how extremely nervous I get.

How do you go about injecting that nervous energy into a more meaningful interaction?

Is it realizing that your nervous, then trying to turn that nervous energy into excitement, and then doing that thing makes you nervous?

By: Axel

Axel — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 21:45:14 +0000

KL, I don’t know, but I get the odd email from Gambler promoting the latest product or whatever. When I first read them six months ago or something, and read one of their rapports, it didn’t sit right with me. It somehow seemed to focus more on chasing tail than connecting, but that’s just an impression I got.

By: Tz

Tz — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:22:45 +0000

Digger wrote: “During the last years, I worked a lot on getting more in touch with my feelings and it certainly enriched my life. But: with becoming much more sensitive than other men, I would fall in love tooo quickly and get very needy. And too respectful. I don’t push boundaries.
Another thing is that I developed very good rapport skills from that. I can connect very good and women open up very fast to me. But with that, I instantly end as the emotional garbage bin, because they start pouring out their problems right away. And then I end up in the friend zone.”

It sounds to me like you’re not in touch with your feelings, but rather more in touch with what you *think* her feelings are. In other words, Are your feelings really telling you that you to become needy and too respectful and not push boundaries, etc? Or are your feelings more along the lines of you’d like to kiss her, touch her, have sex with her, not be needy, have her respect you, etc? I suspect the latter is more accurate of your true feelings. But what you’re going by is what you think she’s feeling or wants. You’re projecting these notions on to her. Of course, if she’s romantically interested in you, that’s not what she’s feeling at all. She actually does want you to initiate physical intimacy, not be subordinate to her, etc. But forget about her. The important thing is what are you feeling and are you actually tuned in to that and staying true to what you want? Or are you just doing what you think she wants because you think it will get you what you want?

By: KL

KL — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:45:02 +0000

@Axel. Haha do the PUA Training guys not have integrity? Idk, a lot of their material has helped me, anyway. Establishing a sexual vibe, learning how and when to touch, from tactical stuff like getting the number to inner game/ mindset and attitude, etc.

By: Eric Disco

Eric Disco — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 00:45:19 +0000

You want to become more sensitive. But this doesn’t mean that you turn into a pushover. On the contrary.

You want to be able to negotiate your relationships and be sensitive to yourself as well as the other person’s feelings. This means you notice right away when someone is dumping on you rather than connecting with you.

If you feel yourself getting needy or getting into a bad situation, you know to pull away right away and manage your feelings. You manage your feelings by taking action.

This also doesn’t mean that you become overly respectful. Instead, you know when and where to push your boundaries. You know where to challenge yourself.

That’s what all this is about. Getting laid is awesome, I love getting laid. But what’s even better than that is feeling what you want to feel with people.

You’ll feel slightly off balance when you meet a girl you really like. That’s good. But you don’t let it get out of control. You keep your wits about you. You enjoy the ride.

There are certain areas where you do become less sensitive. When you walk up to a girl and she blows you off, it stings a bit, but it doesn’t wreck my life as it would a few years ago. There’s no emotional involvement there. My reaction is appropriate. But it doesn’t mean I’m turning off my feelings.

I’m always checking in with myself about how I feel. If I’m feeling anxiety, I acknowledge that and realize it. It doesn’t mean I don’t take action. On the contrary, checking in with my feelings helps me to manage them and I can decide to take action in spite of those feelings and along with those feelings.

If I’m feeling nervous, I can use that energy and inject it into the interaction to make it more meaningful for both of us. It’s an intensity that wouldn’t be there if I weren’t in touch with my feelings.

Eric