Just as long as you acknowledge that this is something you infer from the comic.

That is neither stated explicitly nor (in my interpretation) deliberately implied.

If I’ve misinterpreted your argument at any point, then tell me how I have, so I can fix that mistake. I’ve mentioned several of the assumptions that I was working with, although that was certainly not an exhaustive list of them, just the ones I thought warranted listing for clarity.

@Lee I’m sure *someone* can disagree with those points, but it’s not going to be me, unless you’re expecting me to take things in an entirely literal sense, which I don’t think you are. There’s some specific supporting assertions made in the comic that imply ideas I strongly disagree with, but it is what it is, and like you said, it serves little purpose trying to pick the narrative apart, unless you’re one of those people who thinks a failure to disagree is agreement.

There’s one more general point that I view the comic as implying though, which is the idea that being nice means that one is a bad person, with some evil ulterior motives. Not only do I disagree with that, but I think adopting such a viewpoint is actually harmful.

So well said. I can also pick apart Sarah’s narrative but that’s not the point. The writer is allowed to be heavy handed in trying to make you see things from Sarah’s perspective. Here is a synopsis of Sarah’s points (without the heavy handedness):

1) Men who don’t have the balls to make themselves vulnerable by facing rejection are not attractive to women.

2) Women prefer men who take those risks, even if taking risks is sometimes associated with other types of behavior that are not as desirable (such as being a bit of an asshole

3) Men who are afraid to make themselves vulnerable by taking risk often rationalize their behavior by blaming society for ostracizing intellectuals. Often, this is not because they are true intellectuals, but because they hide their fear in pursuits where failure is impossible to detect.

4) It is patronizing to women when men treat them as if the choices they are making are obviously wrong and if they just knew better they would wind up with someone who is better for them. Yes, this happens, but the opposite also happens: women decide to be with men who are more capable of hurting them because these men are more alive and more interesting.

Can anyone truly disagree with these points?

–Lee

1) You look at peoples arguments and try and prove them wrong
publically in an effort to prove how smart you are and convince yourself of your own superiority.

You generalise, intentionally misinterpret the other sides arguments and pounce on their “straw men” in a blind and desperate attempt to win the argument.

I have no interest in this kind of listening.

2) You actually listen and try and understand their point of view (while acknowledging the weaknesses in their arguments privately). You take a hard look at yourself and think about what you could learn from them.

You avoid rationalisations that make you feel better.

Its up to you to make that choice.

I’m not *entirely* uninterested in getting a girlfriend. I just think that the probable costs(and I mean this mainly in terms of overall unhappiness/pain vs. happiness/pleasure) of doing so, based on my previous experiences with girlfriends, would be much greater than any benefits it would bring to either of us. I wouldn’t be averse to brief “hookups” either, but I’ve only rarely seen those in the wild, and have little idea as to how risky they actually are socially, legally, etc, how much time and money are usually involved, or what the costs and benefits for the other party are. So there is some interest, but I generally try to ignore it since I think there are both more productive uses of my time, and that it would not likely be ethically justifiable for me to enter into a relationship with another person.

Back when I actually thought there would be some net benefit to “relationships” with people in any romantic sense, I tried talking to them with probably similar language, although the times I did it, I did so very soon after meeting them, as opposed to waiting years. These days I don’t see any net benefits to such a relationship, either for me, or the other party(unless they were completely using me, which seems fairly uncommon). Enumerating all the differences between him and me would take up a ton of space and I won’t bore you with it when I’ve already written a fair chunk, and I don’t have any reason to believe that you’ll actually take my word on any of this. If you ask me to, I will.

And the only comment in there I hated was the one I mentioned in my prior post.