I looked at the links you posted. I’ve seen these and similar studies before. As someone who teaches science at the graduate level, I have to tell you that these statistics are not saying exactly what you think they are saying.

Both Eric and I fully acknowledge the role of looks, as well as other factors. Search for some of my posts here: http://approachanxiety.com/?p=1602. Janka’s two line pickups are my favorite examples of the importance of looks. It is hard to imagine how a man who is not as good looking can do the same thing, even with a relatively high degree of confidence. As I’ve previously said, if a man’s value is less visible to women, he has to do more to demonstrate that value. Among other things, he has to be more confident and more visible, and he has to tell better stories.

However, look more closely at the facial symmetry studies mentioned in all of these articles. The first and third of your links are articles that explain that facial symmetry is more of an explanatory factor for what makes women desirable than for what makes men desirable. In other words, women look at other factors – status, or rather its most visible characteristic, confidence. This is specifically mentioned in the second of these two articles. Dude, that is exactly what we are saying, nothing more.

I can tell you exactly how these studies are performed. If a large male population is studied to determine whether looks are important, the answer will be a statistically significant yes. Statistical significance simply means that the effect of the variable in the regression equation is unlikely to be the result of pure chance. However, this says nothing about the magnitude of the effect. A variable may be very statistically significant, but the magnitude of the effect may be small. It is hard to isolate – and therefore study – game. It’s very easy to study looks. Assuming that both variables are statistically significant, what you’d want to see are the relative weightings of the two in the same regression equation.

Even from these studies of physical characteristics, we have some clues that the weighting of game is not zero. As mentioned above, the first clue is that the explanatory power of physical features – the fraction of variance explained by the physical feature being studied – is lower for women than for men. There are other clues in the importance of body language and voice tonality – both of which can be controlled and are also mentioned in some of these studies. Until we have a proper study that includes game as an explanatory factor, we can only guess which plays a more important role.

As for me, I am not average looking. I am indeed tall, but I am skinny, my posture is not great, I have a bit of a schnoz and a weak jaw. I am a solid 7, but I am not an 8, a 9, or a 10. I have good style and solid confidence, and my overall game is pretty good. My numbers are about 1 in 7. Meaning, when I approach 7 attractive women, my expectation is that one of them will contact me. I think this is a little harder to do than getting a number, but that’s the game I’m comfortable with.

These numbers are not crazy. There are guys who are much better than I am and guys who are much worse. Armed with these stats, if I go out twice every week and do ten approaches each time – which takes me about an hour – I have to stop after the fifth or sixth week because the number of first, second, third, and fourth dates will fill up my entire week and leave me no time to myself.

I cannot take taller PUA’s seriously. I mean, lets face it they are going to get better reception from women. Who cares if we have our personal demons that bottom line to all this is not self preservation or self help, you can go to a therapist for that. Its for picking up women. Plain and simple.

Approach Anxiety might be deep rooted in the psyche but if you are a better looking male you will get get better reception at a quicker pace than a less better looking or shorter guy. There is just no way around it.

Do you think Paul Janka would be sucsessfull without his “model” looks? NO!

Research:

http://www.livescience.com/health/060213_attraction_rules.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16547251/

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/index.shtml

etc, etc………

” Looks” influence heavily how much a girl will put up with on an approach.

Neither of you have true confidence, period. If you do, who the hell cares? Even if there are only 1% 10′s in the world, that’s still a staggering number of 10′s around. You focus way too much on losses and not on possible wins. And if they’re all so superficial and you focus on meeting SOMEONE ELSE’s superficial qualification, you’re definitely not alpha. So stop trying to say you are or be. Start learning how.

End of convo.

i do have a question though, your philosophy of one approach a day. would that involve going up to a girl and outright telling her you like her and wanna get a coffee or just chatting to girls atleast once a day? i have quite a lot of approach ancxiety when i’m on my own.

Sanjay,

When I was starting out, I used to try to do one approach a day. And for me, that meant trying to introduce myself to at least one person. Usually that was a direct approach, something like “I just wanted to come say hi. My name’s Eric.”

There’s something to be said for doing a full-out approach. If it’s possible, it’s a great thing to do. If you have approach anxiety, doing that for 30 days will change you like nothing else in the world.

However, through self-experimentation and coaching students, I’ve found that a more gradual step-up approach facilitates a greater reduction in both anxiety and inhibition.

In other words, instead of doing a full-on approach, first start with much simpler things, like positioning yourself next to women and asking very simple questions and walking away. It makes this whole process a lot easier.

Eric

Thanks for the kind words, bro. I am sure things will work out for you over time. You sound like a smart guy. This type of introspection and analysis always makes people stronger. Be patient with yourself.

i do have a question though, your philosophy of one approach a day. would that involve going up to a girl and outright telling her you like her and wanna get a coffee or just chatting to girls atleast once a day?

i have quite a lot of approach ancxiety when i’m on my own. in a pair i’m like a born leader but back away from uni when i’m at home, s**t scared of approaching women. any advice you could provide would be great thanks mate