About five years ago, I took a workshop with a popular dating company.  They ended up inviting me back as an assistant coach a few months later based on my written reports about the approaches I was doing.  In the three months since I had seen them, I had gone out and done one approach every day. As I’ve talked about before, it was the toughest thing I’d ever done.  And at the same time, there is nothing I’ve ever done that’s fundamentally changed my physical confidence more. I was relaxed and self-assured when I came back. There was a certain calmness in the way I moved.

At the workshops, they had women who would come in for a few hours and give feedback to guys. Continue Reading »

There’s a lot of talk about different ways to minimize anxiety.

But if you’re really serious about getting past anxiety, you may want to consider two very simple solutions.

This week, Time Magazine has an interesting article about the effect of exercise on depression and anxiety (Is Exercise the Best Drug for Depression?).

Various studies have been testing the results of exercise versus pharmaceutical anti-depression and anti-anxiety drugs and the results are startlingly similar.

The article explains why.

The result is that exercise primes the brain to show less stress in response to new stimuli. In the case of lab rats and mice, that stimuli include being plunged into very cold water or being suspended by the tail. And while those are not exactly problems that most people face, the thinking is that the human neurochemical response may well react similarly, with exercise leaving our brain less susceptible to stress in the face of harmless but unexpected events, like a missed appointment or getting a parking ticket. A little bit of mental strain and excess stimulation from exercise, in other words, may help us to keep day-to-day problems in perspective.

I have found from first-hand experience that running a few times a week adds to a much more stable mood. Continue Reading »

I was out at a bar last night with my friend Lee and another friend.

Immediately after walking into the bar, Lee started to chat with two hot women next to us.

The girls giggled and laughed as he talked with them.

After about ten minutes of conversation with them he turns back to us.

“My objective,” he says, “is to show as much of myself as possible in the first few minutes of conversation. I do this through playfulness, through storytelling, even through physical contact.

“To me,” he continues, “It’s like a job interview. Would you go to a job interview with no resume, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and just wing it? No. You would prepare. You would carefully get together your resume. You would dress right.

Continue Reading »

Saturday afternoon.

I have plans to hang with a girl later that night.

It takes me a while to get going, because because I’m home working all day.  Finally get in the shower at 7 pm.

At 8 pm it suddenly hits me:

Oh shit. I didn’t go out to talk to women today.

Part of me thinks, who cares? I’m hanging out with this chick tonight. I’ll just relax today and then go out tomorrow.

But then I ask myself, “How important is this to me to do this?”

It’s really fucking important.

I call the girl and tell her I’d meet her an hour later. I put on my clothes and head out into the streets. Cuz I’m a champ like that. Continue Reading »

Guest writer Erin Whitehead is a featured writer for OnlineDatingSites.net.  You can follow her on Twitter at Twitter.com/girlwithatail.

Ryan had a sarcastic sense of humor and a sweet smile.

He seemed a little guarded on our first date, but I figured that would change with time.

We were in line at the concession stand when he first mentioned his ex.

I’m pretty sure his eyes glowed red.

“She’s the reason I no longer trust women,” he said. “I’m not about to be an idiot in love again.”

Then he asked if I wanted to share the jalapeno poppers.

Um, rewind.

Why are you on a date with me if you have no intention of falling in love again?

I had a momentary impulse to be the girl who shows him women can be trustworthy, who gets him to open up again but… Continue Reading »