Exactly how important is it to have friends who are in the game?
There are two important sides to this.
Firstly, my friends are indispensable. From the drop, having guys to go out with made my game a thousand times better.
When I started out, I wasn’t friends with any guys who were great. So I took some workshops. Learning from someone else in person is critical.
But even if you can’t afford workshops or coaching, having a friend who’s into this stuff, regardless of your level or his, is super important.
When I first started going out at night, I met a guy who would go out with me. Although neither of us was particularly great at it, to have someone to go out with was extremely motivating.
We could share our victories and defeats, to bounce ideas off of each other, and to encourage each other in this game. Really important.
Now some of my closest friends are literally the best guys in the world.
Not everyone has that luxury. But as you get better, you meet guys who are also really good. And you make each other better.
They learn from you and you learn from them. You keep each other in the game and on your toes.
Your pickup friends, if they’re grounded, tend to have much more insight into relationships as well.
And when you get unbalanced from a girl that sweeps you off your feet (the girl you really want) your friends help keep you balanced.
On the flipside, what you are doing out there you are ultimately doing alone.
Particularly with learning how to meet women during the day.Ã‚Â It’s all about you motivating yourself and getting out there.
You absolutely CANNOT rely on anyone else to motivate you.
Once you start doing this stuff, you realize that there are people out there who want to be your friend and hang out with you who can’t motivate themselves and instead cling to you to try and motivate them.
Those people are energy vampires. I avoid them like the plague.
If you can’t motivate yourself on your own first, guys who are good at this will avoid you. You won’t be able to attract solid people into your life.
By far the most progress I’ve made in terms of my own confidence is when I went out alone every single day for two months and opened one girl each day. (Read my free e-book for more info on that).
I still make sure get out alone almost every day specifically to meet people, even if I am going out regularly at other times with friends.
Going out alone is my base. If I don’t interact with women on my own, I definitely won’t open women if I’m with friends.
In fact, get a group of guys together, even really good guys, and usually they tend to open less during the day than they would if they were alone.
Tip: If I’m going out with a group of guys who are into pickup, I try to make sure that I open a woman before I see them do it or else it tends to get me into my head too much.
It’s definitely different at night when things are more social. You tend to get more motivated and social by having friends around.
But even if you want to get good at meeting women at bars, if you can learn to go out on your own and motivate yourself at night, you become unstoppable.
You don’t need a wing. You don’t need anyone else.
Once you become self-sufficient you begin to attract other self-sufficient people into your life, which is what you want.
You don’t want to be the guy who needs other guys to go out. If you can’t just pick up and go out on your own when you want, your improvement is seriously hindered.
Moral of the story: motivate yourself first. But be very open to bringing other people into your life.
posted in Self-Improvement StrategiesCOMMENTS