Rejections are Precious
by 
Eric Disco
It’s not easy to keep going on those days when no one seems receptive to you.
Or your body just doesn’t want to do it.
But it is those days when you actually have the greatest opportunity to learn and grow.
I recently went to a class on Buddhism taught by a friend of mine.
He told a story of Atisha, one of the greatest Buddhists, who helped to spread Buddhism from India to Tibet in the 11th century.
When Atisha went to Tibet, he brought with him an entourage of hundreds of dedicated monks.
Among them was his cook.
This cook was extremely disagreeable. He spoke harshly and was rude and obnoxious to everyone.
He regularly insulted Atisha.
Atisha had quite a retinue of monks and could have easily replaced him.
His monks asked, “Why did you bring this person with you? Please let us serve you. We can cook for you. You don’t need him!”
But Atisha would always rebuke the offer.
“I do need him,” he said. “I need him to practice patience.”
The women who reject you can be as valuable to building your confidence as the women whom you’re successful with–provided you can frame the experience in a positive way.
And when I say this, I don’t mean that you can simply learn something from it.
Sometimes trying to “learn” something from a failed interaction can actually be MORE detrimental than simply allowing your body to adjust to the challenge.
Reviewing an interaction in your mind and figuring out what you did wrong can only be good to an extent.
For the most part, these unsuccessful interactions will simply build your social stamina.
You don’t “learn” anything from the hills you encounter on a long-distance run. Rather, the challenge makes you a better runner as long as you don’t get discouraged.
Everyone one of us has challenges. Every story ever told is the story of a conflict and how a person rose above it (or tried to).
These are not simply setbacks you will enounter in life, but the very core of what gives life it’s meaning.
Posted in Embarrassment and Rejection | 
4 Comments »
Perfect timing. Last night after a reject suddenly things started to go downhill. I could feel my body energy level dropping and it was just difficult to bring a smile on my face and approach another woman. I did try to talk to other but the energy wasn’t there.
The whole night I slept with this hurt and even called my friend that I felt low. It was like I am moving back wards.
But like any discipline it takes time on the field. I would walk out again today and practice more approach.
As Thomas Edison says –
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
I think this is the key of success – feeling the same before and after rejection. Personally, I think I can never reach this level, but at least I won’t give up.
I had a set this Sunday, that I thought the most about from all the sets in the past year. You will not believe this, I am definitely not a beginner anymore. But this time it was for the first time in reality that a girl in a three set told me. “Fuck you, get the fuck out of here” :-) . Out of nothing, just because me and my wing were little bit persistent. And as usual, it was the ugliest of the three. I see a lot of mistakes I did in this set but at the same time I will remember the mistakes I did very well. I understood again:
- react to any shit test or difficulty only with a joke, the answer of a girl was the reaction as I started LOGICALLY arguing with her
- split the set as early as possible with a wing, since there is usually one pissed of chick who will kill you and feels specially strong in a group
I hope one day we all will be payed for all this uncomfortable situations, since we are putting our selves constantly out of our comfort zones.
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