It’s that time of year.
Office parties. Holiday parties. New Years. All kindsa parties.
Parties can be one of the best places to meet people, particularly cute women.
But for guys with anxiety, it’s not always the easiest thing in the world to go out and party.
Here are some tips to make things better for you.
1. Don’t underestimate the power of simply showing up. Woody Allen once said, “80 percent of success is just showing up.”
Always say yes to a party invitation, unless there’s a really good reason why you shouldn’t go. Chances are, that feeling that you don’t want to go is simply your anxiety nudging you to go home and do something anti-social rather than be among other people. The most important part of success is simply getting yourself there.
2. Stick Around. There’s a tendency to want to leave a party if things aren’t “happening.” But part of this, as I’ve talked about before, is getting comfortable being uncomfortable.
Amazing things can happen if you just chill out and stay around even if it’s not super fun in the moment. Yes it’s awkward, but don’t worry, it’s awkward for everyone. That’s why people get drunk. Sometimes weathering the boring moments of the party reaps amazing benefits.
3. It’s okay to hang back. Don’t feel like you constantly need to be doing “something” all the time. It’s okay to hang out and sip your drink, even if you aren’t in a conversation with someone. Contributing every once in a while is okay. Don’t take the world on your shoulders. Hang out for a bit and see what develops.
4. Stand near people. This seems a bit silly, but when you think about it, it is one of the easiest yet most important things. Don’t hang out alone by the food tray for long. Go over and stand next to a group of people. Just hang out. You don’t have to even open conversation, just be physically part of the group. This makes you seem social, even if you aren’t really doing anything.
5. Look at whoever is talking. Eye contact is huge. When you are standing near people, you don’t have to do all the talking. But you do have to look at whoever is talking.
It’s okay to look around at the party, but if you are staring down at your drink rather than looking people in the eye, you will come across as awkward and anti-social. Your default should be to look at whoever is talking. As they say, interested is interesting. Simply looking at people when they’re talking makes you seem social.
6. Get other people talking. Instead of trying to entertain people and trying to win them over, focus on getting other people talking.
You can ask people: “How do you know the host of the party?” “Have any travel plans for the holidays?” “Are you getting anything good for Christmas?” “What are you doing for New Years?”
7. Talk with everyone, not just attractive women. I love meeting attractive women. But don’t fall into the trap of only talking to attractive women.
Women are attracted to confidence. You can display just as much confidence, initiative and leadership by having fun with people NEAR her as doing that with her. If you can talk to anyone in the place, it will be that much easier once you do start talking to attractive women.