Normally i think your posts and podcasts are great and appreciate all of them. and the fact that you added a new one.
but…i thought this guy was really cheezy and there was nothing concrete that he offered. i’d rather hear a follow up podcast with some of the others you’ve got on here than having this guy back for a 2nd round (if you’re thinking of that). thanks for adding a new podcast anyway.

Thanks for the feedback Todd, not the easiest thing to hear but I believe that all feedback (positive or negative) is important. Can you please tell me what you thought was “cheezy” and why you felt that I failed to offer any real value? If you could give me some brutally honest answers I would really appreciate it because I am always looking to grow and stretch myself.

Great post, though I was wondering how the “Be, do, have” phenomenon links in with success. For example if I say “I want to be a musician to become successful one day” how can I change that into something I can act upon now.
Cheers.

Hey Nate, hopefully this clears things up for you:

Let me explain by showing you a common human thought process.

HAVE → DO → BE

Most people believe that once they HAVE the things they want in life, then they can DO the things they want to do, and then, they will BE happy.

“Someday” when I lose weight and buy some new clothes, I’ll be ready to meet women…

“Someday” when I have that 7 figure bank account, then I can take that trip around the world, then I’ll be happy…

“Someday” when I have the women of my dreams, I’ll be able to do all those things couples do, and then I’ll be happy…

Here is the problem with “Someday…” it happens right after you take a 6 foot drop!

You never get there, its always out in the future, and if you do get something you want “Someday” before you die, it never really makes you happy, at least not for very long.

Here is the worst mistake men make. They tell themselves “I don’t have women in my life, so I better start doing the things to get one.” If you are one of these guys, don’t feel bad, we were too!

But guess what, that model hasn’t worked thus far, has it? If you’re reading this letter to this point, I’m sure you want the REAL solution. So lets tweak the model a bit.

BE → DO → HAVE

First, you BE attractive, then you will naturally DO the things that suck extraordinary women into your reality, and then you will HAVE an abundance of beautiful women in your life. Cool, huh?

Unfortunately, most self-help and dating products tell you a bunch of things to do, but they forget to focus on who you are “being” first.

The thing with pretty eighteen year old girls though is that their main interest is boys. Usually problems with boys. Should you take interest in that too? And Eric, what would you do when the girl started talking about a guy? Should you subtly disregard it and steer the conversation away to something else (which feels unnatural to me) or should you listen to what’s on her mind about it. Usually the last option eventually results in a let’s just be friends situation or something like that.

This is a great question. And you are correct, you should absolutely not listen to her problems with boys. This will end in a let’s just be friends situation.

In fact, you need to be careful to not be her therapist or try to solve her problems for her. You are trying to understand her and how she feels, but particularly early on, you need to make sure you aren’t an emotional tampon for her.

How do you know if you’re an emotional tampon? Well, is she talking to you the same way she would talk to her girlfriends? If so, then it’ sa problem. You need to make sure that she’s talking to you as a sexual prospect.

So what do you do when she starts treating you like a girl friend? Yes, you can steer the conversation on to something else. You can joke around. Show less interest in what she’s talking about. Give her less eye contact.

You want her to be revealing things to you so that you can appreciate her as a person, not so that you can solve her problems.

Eric

Greetings,