A Night Out Alone

by Eric Disco
Sep 19

It’s Friday early evening.

My friend said he’d go with me to a concert. It’s a band I really like.

But then I get a text from him saying he’s feeling sick and staying home.

None of my other friends are interested in going.

Should I go to the show all alone?

A huge part of me just wants to go home, watch a couple movies and call it a night.

I decide I’m going out instead. It’s the first rule: just get out.

I don’t need to interact with anyone all night. Even if I just go and watch the band, that’s something.

I’m feeling so chill and calm as I arrive at the venue.

I get into the coat check line. There are girls in line. I think about it, but don’t end up talking to any of them.

After checking my coat, I go to the downstairs bar. I see a girl out on the dance floor.

I walk up to her and ask her if she knows what band this is.

She tells me. We talk for a minute and I leave.

I go upstairs to the main stage. Make my way into the crowd. I feel slightly awkward because I’m all alone but it’s okay.

The main band comes on. I start to dance and get into it.

I notice a really cute girl standing to my right. Big blue eyes and curly short blond hair.

I see her talk to someone next to her. But I can tell that they’re not together. She’s being social.

I dance a little more.

On the other side of the place a small fight breaks out. I take the opportunity to open my mouth.

I ask her if she knows what’s going on, just to interact with her.

She responds. She’s friendly.

It slowly escalates from there. Every once in a while I say something to her, joke with her a bit, dance with her a bit. Never facing her.

Toward the end of the show she says she’s going to the bar to get a drink. She doesn’t ask if I want anything, she just says she’s leaving.

I let her go.

I’m perfectly fine on my own.

Later on she makes her way back over to me. The band ends.

Since it’s quieter, I take the opportunity to connect with her a bit more, then invite her out to a bar.

She’s into it.

We’re sitting in the cab. I ask her if she works hard. “Let me see your hands,” I say.

She gives me her hands and I start touching them. “They’re smooth,” I say. “I don’t think you work very hard!” She giggles.

It was an excuse to touch her hands. Now we’re sort of holding hands, sort of playing with each other’s hands.

We get to the bar. We walk through the crowd to the back of the bar. But we’re stopped by the bouncer.

“Private party” he says.

We decide to stay anyway and hang out in the front of the bar. I take her by the hand and walk her downstairs to check our coats.

“You should have used your charms to get us in,” I say.

“Oh? How would I do that?” she says with a flirty smile as we get to the bottom of the stairs.

“Like this,” I say as I grab her hand, lift it over her head and pin her against the wall.

Our lips touch.

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posted in Bar Game, Sex and Escalation

COMMENTS
20 responses
jhonnybravo says:

wow i have a lot of respect for you eric it’s big to go out alone for me especially because i live in a small city so im bound to see friends then…

Doodle2 says:

Love it.

I believe it takes more confidence to do something on your own than doing it in groups.

That was brilliant. I enjoy your posts entirely too much.

Axel says:

That’s brilliant, very relevant to my own situation too, although it might be difficult to translate the situation from a New York dance club to the Metal venues in Norway.

I enjoyed this!

[...] A Night Out Alone – An instructive field report by Eric Disco tweetmeme_style = ‘compact’; tweetmeme_source = ‘PUALingo’; Grow Your Game: [...]

Chris says:

Hey Eric. Is the lesson of this post to take small steps towards your goal (pickup) in order to push through your anxiety?

Good story, nothing I can relate to at the moment.

- Chris

Jay says:

Great stuff Eric! I do go out alone during the daytime to sarge but have not been able to do this for bars/clubs as i am still uncomfortable going out alone at night time.

Ezra says:

Eric you baller. Love the writing style as usual. Got any other stories when an ‘opener’ just feels so out of place? For example, a girl at a restaurant eating with her group, and you’re eating with a friend – what’s the least awkward way to start the connection/conversation…

Troy says:

Ezra, due to the unique circumstances of your given example I would highly recommend “pacing the reality” and then going Direct (which is what the community consensus is on Day Time pick-ups), asking them what they’re up to, followed by a few rapport building stories, and then number closing.

“Pacing the reality” simply means you acknowledge the situation at hand. In other words, you’re getting up from your table at a restaurant, and randomly approaching a table of chicks who know nothing about you so you’d simply say something along the lines of, “Excuse me? Hi, I know this is totally out of the blue, but…”

^— (The above exp. is pacing the reality)

“…I just saw your friend over here, and thought she was absolutely cute so I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t come over and at least talk to you guys for a minute.”

^— (This last part is going Direct- you’re making your intentions known right off the bat. [You may also notice that I’m addressing the entire group to avoid alienating anyone. Remember, talk to everyone.] Some times it may not be advantageous to let your intentions be known so quickly, but often times it’d be socially awkward to get up from your table, and go over to theirs and attempt to talk about something like the weather so that’s why going Direct in this situation is almost a must. It provides you with legitimate CONTEXT. Lastly, you’ll notice that I added a False Time Constraint by saying “at least talk to you for a minute.” Very important you add this. If not, they’ll be more willing to listen to you since they’re thinking, “Okay, he’s only gonna’ be here for a short bit. It can’t be too bad.”)

You then ask them what they’re up to give them a chance to speak (they’ll usually keep it very quick and short), and then talk about yourself by going banter lines and some stories- which should make you look good, and build some rapport. You’ll want the stories to be true to you so they should be personalized. They don’t necessarily have to be 100% non-fiction, but you should come up with them on your own so you can remember them better. A personalized story also shows your personality much better, as well. (A good example of a personalized story can be seen at the 8:09 mark in the 5th video I’ve posted below about looking for a costume for a costume party that’s happening soon.)

Hope this helps.

Please see the following Youtube links of the PUA Alex Coulson for video examples:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cgmIMvgYY0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOnafmKuby8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HknzoDFpZiM&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S8lFrJtkkg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgH-48yqncA&feature=related

Eric Disco says:

Eric you baller. Love the writing style as usual.

Thanks, man!

Got any other stories when an ‘opener’ just feels so out of place? For example, a girl at a restaurant eating with her group, and you’re eating with a friend – what’s the least awkward way to start the connection/conversation…

If you’re looking for the least awkward way, then you want to be indirect (i.e. ask a question relating to the environment). Direct (I just wanted to tell you you are amazing) amps up the situation. It’s great for building tension but also risks making things very awkward.

Direct (which is what the community consensus is on Day Time pick-ups)

Not necessarily. I would agree that you see more people going direct than indirect. And it’s good to focus on one style when starting out. For a lot of guys direct is easier because there’s less thinking involved.

But going indirect has a lot of advantages. Practicing both styles are important when dealing with approach anxiety. See Is it Better to Be Direct or Indirect?.

Eric

Troy says:

Quote: “If you’re looking for the least awkward way, then you want to be indirect (i.e. ask a question relating to the environment). Direct (I just wanted to tell you you are amazing) amps up the situation. It’s great for building tension but also risks making things very awkward.”

Now that I look at it, yes, you are correct. Indirect is the least awkward way. I totally agree. The main advantage of Indirect is that it’s extremely low risk (asking for directions as an example), but for me, I’ve always noticed low risk usually equates to low reward, and less efficiency- whereas Direct is high reward, and high efficiency (though admittadly high risk). And yes, one of the main reasons I’ve chosen Direct is that there is less thinking involved. ;) If you watch the direct approach Alex Coulson does on the steps of the Sydney building you’ll see why I like Direct so much during the day time. (Having stories prepared is a must. Having something to follow-up the Direct opener is paramount for a Direct approach otherwise it will get VERY awkward.)

Troy says:

Hey Eric, I just read “Is it Better to Be Direct or Indirect?” and that article completely sums up everything I believe about the whole Direct vs. Indirect debate. Both styles are good. Each has their strengths and weaknesses depending on the situation. (I just find myself in more situations where Direct is better. ;) )

Definately don’t use Direct at work or in your own personal social circles (where you’ll see the girl again if she rejects you), or in places where you can’t just walk away (you gave the example of a subway ride, or elevator).

Joshua says:

Real smooth man, good job!

hhk says:

you write well

relentless d says:

To go from calling it a day and staying in, to making out with a girl…thats simply amazing my friend. Simply Amazing.

schwabsauce says:

ha ha it’s not that amazing. girls love to be kissed, you just have to give them a good enough excuse. just be relaxed like the Disco man said!

R says:

Very nice writing, it was a pleasure to read. I really prefer this kind of a relaxed attitude to lists of steps to follow up.

R says:

And thanks for sharing! Your blog is my favourite on dating / flirting – clever and well written. I used to read ‘the reality method’ as well, but I guess it has closed down for good.

akne says:

I believe about the whole Direct vs. Indirect debate. Both styles are good. Each has their strengths and weaknesses depending on the situation.

Philip Greener says:

So are you against the idea of sarging?

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