Believe the Unbelievable
by 
Eric Disco
I’m not where I want to be. All of this is killing me.
I’ve been doing way too much. Working too much. Running around. And I’m not enjoying it.
I have almost no free time to myself. I’m running myself ragged.
I don’t like where I’m at and how it feels.
I’m jumpy all the time, and rushing from thing to thing. I’m getting overwhelmed.
I feel like I don’t have time for anything in my life. All I want is a little free time.
So I’ve started a new affirmation.
My life is leisurely and relaxed.
How can this affirmation help me here? Isn’t that just wishful thinking?
I could quit coaching, the thing I’m passionate about and just relax. But then I would get into something else.
I could work more until I’ve launched my own multi-million dollar business. But then I’d be even more busy. Think Bill Gates can take a month off and just chill out?
I’m actually pretty happy where I am. I love the thrill of the challenges that lie before me. I just feel rushed and pressured.
So I say my affirmations.
And what happens is a change where it is the most important: in my mind.
The change doesn’t happen right away. But whenever I’m on the subway train, I start to say it.
My life is leisurely and relaxed.
The first thing that happens is that I start to notice things in my life that aren’t leisurely and relaxed.
I’m walking around at a hundred miles an hour. So I slow down.
I’m sitting there and thoughts start popping into my head.
I need a haircut. I need to schedule with this person. I need to do this or that on the computer. I need to go to the dentist.
Those racing thoughts popping into my head are not leisurely and relaxed. So I notice them now, and I say my affirmation.
My life is leisurely and relaxed.
And I start to relax.
I start to notice things in my life that are leisurely and relaxed.
I have some friends who just had a baby. It’s relaxing to go over their place and chill out.
You can’t do anything with a baby. And that’s part of why it makes it so relaxing to just chill.
So I start to hang out with them more.
My life is starting to become leisurely and relaxed.
My affirmation helps me. It has to do with the way I say it. I’m not trying to convince myself of something that isn’t. I’m not lying to myself.
But when I say the words in my head, the thoughts that conflict with those words suddenly pop out at me.
All of a sudden those other unrelaxed, unleisurely thoughts seem out of place, just because I’m saying the words.
I don’t have to believe the words when I say it, I just have to say it.
It also has to do with how I say it.
I’m not screaming at myself, trying to get myself to comply. GOD-DAMMIT, YOU WILL BE LEISURELY AND RELAXED, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
No, I say it in a calm, soothing tone. Like a parent soothing a child.
If someone told you, your life is leisurely and relaxed, how would you react?
You would first probably see if what they’re saying is true.
You would look at your life and pick out what is leisurely and relaxed, and what isn’t. Some things would be and some things wouldn’t be.
The things that aren’t would stick out. And the things that are, would fit in to what that person was saying.
You could probably tell that person, my life is 38.4% leisurely and relaxed, and 61.6% unrelaxed.
What begins to happen is that the little things in my life become leisurely and relaxed.
I stop rushing, even though I have many things to do. I don’t let random thoughts of things to do crowd my head.
There is nothing in this outside world that I will accomplish that will make me leisurely and relaxed. It’s a state of mind and it happens from moment to moment.
If I can be leisurely and relaxed from moment to moment, I am leisurely and relaxed.
My life is leisurely and relaxed now, because I put myself there. I still have all these outside pressures, but I am in a relaxed state of mind.
How does this apply to women?
The same thing works with women. If you say to yourself, women are attracted to me everywhere I go, you aren’t lying to yourself.
You may get thoughts that women aren’t attracted to you. In fact, you will get these thoughts. That’s the point of affirmations.
But those thoughts will start to seem out of place. You’ve got this other person telling you everywhere you go that women are attracted to you.
Yes, you may doubt whether women are truly attracted to you, but for the first time in your life, you will begin to doubt whether women aren’t attracted to you.
Instead of just looking for negative signs like you normally do, you will look for positive signs that women are attracted.
Positive self-talk can help you in any area of your life where you need to change your state of mind.
And what happens next is nothing short of unbelievable.
Posted in Affirmations | 
16 Comments »
Good post, Eric.
With all the things going on in my life right now, it is VERY important that I keep telling myself that my life is relaxing and I can slow things down.
Slowing everything that goes on in my life has changed it for the best.
it is about time you guys started posting more regularly again, I missed it =( lol.
good one…
thanks Eric
I wish I could believe, but how can I? I have been for the last four years and I have never really picked up a beautiful woman after thousands of approaches/sets,ect. Never. In fact sex has not happened for the last year. Night or day it just has not worked. I have tried various styles, programs and nothing. Every weekend night I go home alone if I do go out anymore and numbers are far and few along with emails.
After getting turned down so much, blown out or not having phone calls returned, one begins to wonder if he is not an attractive individual.
So I have never seen success. How can one believe it you feel there is no hope?
Gary’s input is oxymoronic =) Definitely thinking too much ma dude ;)
Ok Alex, if you are so smart – what should I do?
i think alex said it:
think less…
Dutch researchers have discovered a drug that permanently dampens the fear response – even for innate fears that evolution selected for like fear of spiders.
http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/006033.html
No I do not think its “thinking less”….I think its just reality. For some guys, picking up or dating that real beauty you have always dreamed about is just a dream. I think the community sells us so much of this pipe dream stuff in order to make money and keep their businesses going. I really do.
Do I see ugly guys with hot women? Sometimes – but they are either hight status guys, drug dealers, bikers, tall guys (women love their tall men) or something to effect – not the average guy. Do I do what I have to do to improve myself – absolutely. I work out and am in great shape, dress very well and stylish, have a great haircut, socialize, have a good career, good conversationalist, tease well, qualify, ect – and I still cant pickup a feather…its that bad….so its not so much “over thinking” thats too simplistic and sweeping under the rug…I just have begun to think I have been sold too many bad goods and dreams that are just not possible….
Great post! I think it’s easy to just get caught up, and the fact that we all have to remind ourselves is a sign that we are taking it too hard.
Gary,
I really do see your point, I was in a similar situation myself. But I think what you are focusing on are the external elements. Things didn’t really start changing for me until I realized that you have to actually believe you are attractive before someone else does.
All those techniques really manage to put up “appearance” that you believe it. Try not to focus on any outcome…at all, enjoy what you are doing for the sake of doing it, otherwise things probably will stay the same.
Gary, you indeed have been duped. Is there something wrong with your physical appearance?
Okay, firstly, I agree with you 100% Gary. Everywhere you go, Dating Companies are selling workshops as an instant fix that will turn you into a lady’s man in one weekend. And I hate it. It’s harmful and deceptive. And yes, even the company I work for does it. I do not like the way the workshops are sold and would not do it the same way.
Beyond that, weekend workshops can be more harm than good for many guys, guys like you, Gary.
I do not know whether you’ve taken any workshops or not or just gone out on your own and tried to put things you’ve read/heard/watched into practice.
It is obviously not working for you. Talking about the fact that it is not working for you is not over-thinking and nor is it looking at things too negatively.
Having a good mindset is not about believing in things even when all signs point to the opposite. It’s about finding what is working and cultivating that, growing it like a seed. If you are not getting ANY results, then there is a problem.
What goes on in your mind is the most important aspect of this. But it cannot be completely divorced from reality, because then you are living in fantasy world. What happens in your BODY is just as important. And what is going on with your body is not working for you, Gary.
I’ve coached guys who have been in this for years who have gotten into a bad place. And it is a difficult situation. There is a lot of unlearning to be done, and most of it is with their negative mindset that naturally developed after years of things not working. I don’t blame these guys for having a negative mindset. You can’t tell yourself things are okay and they will be okay. Affirmations need to be accompanied by real-world experience and real-world progress. If the real-world aspect is completely absent, if there is no progress at all, then affirmations will do nothing for you.
My advice is this: get coaching on a regular basis. Find someone who can look at what you’re doing and break it down for you. You are probably doing things right, Gary that you don’t know about. A good coach can find what you’re doing right and work with that.
When I say regular basis, I mean a few hours a week. A single session or trying to do all at once probably won’t work for you, Gary. It works for some guys, but the problem with where you are is that you are doing the wrong thing and you have practiced doing the wrong thing for so long.
This has nothing to do with your physical appearance or limitations. As you take POSITIVE steps toward changing your behavior and see the changes your behavior illicit in other people, any attachment to the excuse of physical limitations fades away. You start to realize how incredibly sexy you are just because you are a confident man.
Keep going Gary. But get someone to look at what you’re doing. Do not keep practicing things the wrong way. Changing things at this point is difficult but not impossible. It feels impossible at times, believe me, even I still feel it sometimes. You wrestle with your body and fight with your body and try to get your body to change, and it looks so easy for everyone but you.
It’s not easy for anyone. It’s about not quitting. But you also need to know when to change course if things aren’t working. Get coaching, do online dating for a while, throw everything away and start new somewhere else. It’s the only way any of us have ever gotten better.
Eric
i like what you wrote but can you take off the picture of 2 women together? its gay and a real man aint into that gay lesbian shit. seriously, when a man fantasizes about 2 people of the same sex together (like 2 women), its mad gay.
You’ve gotta be kidding me. I appreciate that you left a comment, but homophobia isn’t welcome here. Homophobia is not only repulsive to most women, it’s repulsive to pretty much all of humanity. Do yourself a favor and get over it.
Eric
[...] You can read more about affirmations here and here. [...]