Draw Her to You with a Magnetic Mindset

by Eric Disco
Nov 13

When you were a kid, if every morning your mother told you,

“Look at you. You’re such a loser. You’re an unattractive slob. Nobody likes you.”

How would that change your life?

What if instead, your mother told you every day in a loving tone of voice,

“Look at you. You are so smart and handsome. Everyone likes you.”

You would start to believe what you heard, even if you chose not to.

We human beings are highly social creatures. So much of what goes on in our minds is a construct of what we believe other people think of us.

If someone tells you something day in day out, inevitably it will start to sink in. You will feel differently about yourself, regardless of the reality of the situation.

So much of how we view the world is skewed. It is not necessarily reality but how we perceive reality. The way we construct the world is often not the way it is.

A recent study showed how, by strong suggestion, people will create false memories of things that never happened in their life. And it influences their behavior.

If it is possible for others to convince us of things that aren’t there, how much more possible is it for our own minds to convince us of how things are–particularly with a fact so subjective as ‘women are attracted to me.’

Whether we choose to accept what they say, it matters what our parents say to us. It matters what our friends say to us. It even matters what strangers say to us. But most importantly, it matters what we say to ourselves.

The more you believe women are attracted to you, the more they are attracted to you. Our beliefs influence our behavior.

If you believed growing up, that you are ugly, then, regardless of how physically beautiful you are, you will act in a way that makes others feel and treat you like you really are ugly.

But Are You Really Ugly?

We are all constantly questioning ourselves. Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I a failure? Is this the right move? Should I have done something differently?

It’s been estimated that for most people, up to 90% of our inner dialogue is doubting or negative.

Those negative thoughts, I’m ugly, Women don’t like me, I’m not worthy of being with her, take the form of language. And we communicate with ourselves in a constant chatter.

Those negative thoughts come in the form of words. It ties us up. We are constantly thinking about communication with others and ourself, whether we know it or not.

But those negative thoughts do not serve any productive purpose in your life. The Buddhists know this. So many of these thoughts running around in our head are unnecessary.

There are certainly good, productive thoughts. They lead us to taking positive action. They make us feel good about ourselves, our situation, and the world.

And then there are negative thoughts. They cause us to question our own self-worth. They cut down our self-esteem and lead to shame, insecurity, anger, jealousy, and the king of negative thoughts: fear.

But you can communicate with yourself in a positive way that interrupts those negative thought patterns. You do this by simply changing your inner language.

It’s called affirmations. You tell yourself positive things. But not just once, you say it on a regular basis.

You start to hear it in your mind, over and over. And it becomes part of your thoughts.

You begin to replace unproductive thoughts with a more productive mantra–I’m sexy, women love me, I deserve to have beautiful women in my life.

It starts off as just words. But soon those unproductive thoughts are surprisingly neutralized whether you believe the words or not.

Affirmations Allow You to Stay Present

It’s easy to dwell on the past and project into the future. We think about the past over and over and over again. We wonder and worry about the future. It creates a tangled web in our minds that inhibits us from enjoying the present.

Women can sense it when you are unable to be present and enjoy her company.

With affirmations, you can relax. You’ve arrived. You are no longer worried about whether you are sexy or not. Stop worrying. You are sexy. You are perfect the way you are right now, right here, right where you’re sitting.

Affirmations help you to stay in the present because you are no longer looking to the future thinking, I hope it works out with that woman. I hope I do well.

You are no longer looking to the past for answers to whether you are attractive or not. “Did that person think I was sexy? What about me do I need to change because I wasn’t sexy back then?”

Instead you validate yourself in your own mind. You answer the question, over and over again. Am I sexy? Yes!

You get an inner reward which helps you to enjoy your life RIGHT NOW.

You aren’t looking for the next conquest so that you can find out whether you’re sexy. The next conquest will present as many questions as it does answers.

For most of us, no matter how good we get with women, we always want to be better. Sometimes getting good makes us even more unhappy because you just want more.

Affirmations help you to enjoy yourself right now. Instead of trying to attain true happiness outside of yourself, you give yourself that inner reward.

My Experience with Affirmations

I’ve always hated mystical bullshit. I am the eternal skeptic. I’ve written papers debunking pseudoscience.

There is nothing mystical about affirmations.

In fact, I would even say they aren’t spiritual, although they will bring a deep sense of peace into your life. Affirmations are pure mind-cleansing meditation.

Once you begin affirmations, it becomes readily apparent all the garbage you had floating around in your head. That garbage doesn’t need to be there.

Until you start doing affirmations, it’s almost impossible to realize the scope of negative thoughts churning around in your head. Once I began doing them consistently, I became a lot more sensitive to negative thoughts.

“Wow, I just had a feeling of unworthiness when I thought about my neighbors. What’s that about? Huh.” And before I can let that thought get me down, I start my mantra. “Women want to fuck me everywhere I go…”

As you do affirmations, you become sensitive to those negative thoughts. Let’s say you meet a great girl. She was into you. You got her phone number. Now sometimes there’s even more doubt than when you went to approach her.

That girl was amazing, you think in your mind. She was smart, and so sexy. And then of course, will I be able to date her? I’ve never dated a girl that amazing. Maybe I’m not ready. You start to fear.

But if you use affirmations, all of a sudden you can say “women love me.” I deserve to have beautiful women in my life.

The affirmations don’t erase every negative thought. But they certainly ease that fear.

Just drawing attention to a fear can help neutralize it. You may not have even realized you are doubting yourself. But you are.

When you do affirmations, your mind no longer has any room to doubt. Will I ever become truly great with women? Will I find happiness with women?

That question doesn’t have time to appear because you are answering it over and over in your mind.

And the answer is Yes.

There is an attractive relaxation that comes over you when you are no longer worried if women are attracted to you.

When you do affirmations, your mind starts to search for evidence of those affirmations.

If your affirmation is “Women love me,” you may naturally find yourself thinking of and remember instances where women love you or have loved you.

Affirmations are critical to success with women, whether you choose to call them affirmations or positive self-talk.

From when I started approaching women, I was always drawn to affirmations, even though I didn’t call it that.

When I first started approaching women my favorite affirmation was “I can handle this.” No matter what happens, I will be able to handle it.

Anxiety, embarrassment, rejection–whatever it is. It is uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous. I will be able to handle it.

Affirmations are critical in dealing with shame. We all have those bad approaches, those embarrassments and rejections. It’s inevitable.

It is inevitable that your body will start reacting. You’ll blush and you feel an uncomfortable burning sensation.

What is not inevitable is letting those feelings attach to your self-esteem. It’s so easy to start thinking “I’m a loser.” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why didn’t I do this or that instead?”

When those thoughts enter your mind, long after the incident is over, it is important to meet those with positive affirmations.

“I’m a rock star.” “I took a risk.” “I’m learning and that’s what’s important here.” “I’m getting better every day.”

Cory Skyy takes affirmations to a whole different level. In his program, Magnetic Mindset, he teaches you how to be pro-active with emotions and do them every day.

It was only recently that I started doing his program regularly, and I have to say, it is mind-blowing.

Since starting affirmations, I am getting about five times more eye contact from women than I used to get. A woman in a group will look at me and her friends will turn around to see what she’s looking at.

Guys see me and I can see their faces change with a look of “Who the fuck is this guy?”

I feel better than I’ve ever felt when it comes to women. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. And it isn’t even the material success I’ve been having.

I feel great because I feel fulfilled. In the past, even when I was with amazing women, I would feel good, but I would always have that feeling that there was still more to be done.

I still needed to improve in some way. I still needed to get better with women. I still need to do this or to do that, all of which depend on my external performance around women.

With affirmations, it feels great because feeling good doesn’t depend on outcomes. It only depends on me.

I can relax and take a deep breath. I am no longer waiting to get there. I have arrived.

Affirmations with Approaching

I do affirmations in conjunction with taking initiative every day to interact with women. I’m not just sitting home doing affirmations.

I can’t say what the effect would be if I were doing this without going out and approaching, but I think it would have a positive effect in any case.

Ultimately, you want to have an empty mind. You want to be able to notice that worry or that bad feeling and neutralize it right when it happens. You want to be free from the constraint of words.

When I decide to approach a woman, I have NO WORDS going through my mind. I simply feel that feeling inside me and I act on it. It is one of the biggest rushes in the world.

Cory is one the best guys in the world with women. He has been doing affirmations for years and he considers it critical to his success. He gives a lot of practical advice about how affirmations can change you.

Affirmations are your mindset. Your mindset is what attracts women to you. Doing affirmations changes your world.

I can’t explain the results that my students are having. Even in my life, I’m still doing them. They are critical to being great with women.

Without affirmations, my life would be turmoil. Affirmations are my lifeline. They’re like oxygen. When it comes to women, if you stop doing affirmations, you will die. That’s how important they are. It’s critical.

If you are out at an event and you start getting in your head, the best thing for you to do is take a step outside the venue. Go to the bathroom and do the affirmations in the mirror. Or just take a step outside and get some fresh air. Let your affirmations run through your head.

You can use affirmations when you see an attractive woman. Right when you see her, catch yourself. Notice what’s running through your head.

‘She thinks I’m too old’ or ‘She’s too good’ or ‘She’s out of my league.’

The best thing to do in that situation is make a conscious effort to notice the thought, then switch it around. Turn to your affirmations and say ‘You know what? I am a sexy motherfucker.’

‘I do deserve to have her.’

‘I will have her.’

‘She wants me.’

That will calm you down.

Ultimately approach anxiety comes from all those thoughts going through your head within the first few moments of seeing a cute girl. If you can make a conscious effort to switch your mindset right there, you’ll have a completely different feeling about it.

As you guys know, I don’t push many products on this site and would never recommend anything that hasn’t made a difference in my life.

Magnetic Mindset has made a difference.

Cory demonstrates how to use affirmations to help when you feel like you need a boost. But it’s more than that. His program shows you how to do affirmations pro-actively, every day, to build yourself up.

All the actual affirmations in the program are things he thought and said his entire life. A guy who has women approaching him just based on his mindset–that’s how he thinks.

It’s time to clean out all the junk in your head that’s preventing you from having amazing success with women.

Order Cory’s program here: Magnetic Mindset.

As a bonus for those who purchase through this link, Cory is offering FREE Monthly VIP Group Coaching Calls.

You can share recent experiences, ask for specific advice, and target the areas you need to improve. (Normally he does private coaching session at $400/hour)

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posted in Affirmations

COMMENTS
31 responses
Cameron says:

I bought this product from Corry, I was fairly dissapointed in it. But then I never actually stuck with the affirmations.

I really should stick with them and see what happens. Thanks for reminding me Eric.

Eric Disco says:

I bought this product from Corry, I was fairly dissapointed in it. But then I never actually stuck with the affirmations.

I know what you mean. When Cory first told me about affirmations, I was unimpressed. I thought it was some new age crap. But once you start doing them regularly you see a difference.

Eric

AnonymousCoward says:

I’m very skeptical of the whole idea of affirmations – I’ve always thought that if you need to keep telling yourself something, or make a concious effort to believe something then that’s because it’s not true. I want to become a more worthy man, not pretend I am until the mask slips and I get found out for who I am.

Cameron says:

I will do some affirmations for the next week.

stev111 says:

Hay Eric

very intersting article

I’m currently doing affirmations and been doing so for the past month. The one thing I found is was my motivation to actually go out in the field increased. I was eager to go out and high five four hot women and I would do it—so I would recommend affirmations but you must keep to them and have patience…they will work

Ben says:

This is a fantastic post, Eric.

Affirmations are often sold as a cure-all, as though saying “I am brilliant” enough times will make you brilliant. That’s not the case.

They’re much closer to being, as you said, “a mind-cleansing meditation”. At any moment, you can have a positive or a negative thought running through your head, and most of them are negative. Affirmations allow you to make them positive. This is like pressure-cleaning your mind. It’s an incredible transformation.

Even if affirmations don’t automatically make you great, they make you believe the best about yourself. That has so many positive effects on your life.

To me, the best side-effect is happiness, pure, light, top-of-the-world happiness. Two years ago, after a long time being depressed and using anti-depressants, I decided to fill my head with affirmations. I came up with eight:

“I am funny. I am fearless. I am confident. I am interesting. I am lovable. I am hot. I show my best personality to everybody that I meet. I trust everybody I meet to like me for who I am.”

For three weeks, I jammed those affirmations into my head, at home, at work, on the subway. I repeated the words, and I visualized pictures of them being true. I listened for every negative thought in my head, and I visualized destroying each one.

This is incredibly draining stuff, and I haven’t had the energy to repeat the experiment for two years.

However, during those three weeks, and for months after that, I was happier than I’ve ever been in my life. It was a pretty cool discovery: feeling great about yourself equals happiness. When I thought I was the absolute shit, I was unbelievably happy. It was like the sun was shining into my brain. I urge people to try it.

Since then, I haven’t kept it up at the same level, but I retain those eight affirmations as my mantra. I make myself repeat them whenever the thought pops into my head, no matter what I am doing.

They are a safety valve for me. Whenever I have a thought that is negative or scared or angry or bitter or self-hating, I immediately switch to those affirmations. I tell myself that as soon as I am done with those affirmations, I can go back to being negative (just like my mom used to promise me that if I was awake a half-hour after bedtime, I could stay up the rest of the night – I always fell asleep). Within a few seconds, I usually have no desire to continue being negative.

However, I still have a long way to go. As you alluded to in your post, the better one gets with women, the more complications come up. As with everything else in life, you can be confident at one level and scared shitless at the next.

I’ve been lax with the affirmations lately, in terms of absolutely drilling them into my head. I’m newly single, since I ran into you at Barnes and Noble a few weeks ago, so this is as good a time as any to start thinking “I am sexy, I am sexy, I am sexy….”

Thanks as always for the helpful post.

V says:

Hi! Great info!

A couple comments:

When you said “So much of what goes on in our minds is a construct of what other people think of us, whether we choose to accept it or not.” I thought: “Isn’t what *we* believe about what others think about us what matters?” I mean… it’s not “whether we choose to accept it or not” it’s only when you accept what other think about you as truth, that it has a difference in your life.

Like what you said after that: “So much of how we view the world is skewed. It is *not necessarily reality* but how *we perceive* reality. The way we construct the world is often not the way it is”

Now, for the skeptics: affirmations are not “magic words” that will change you overnight. They have to be permanent, and most important, they must be *dominant*.

If you wake up every morning and say to yourself “I’m sexy! I’m sexy! I’m sexy!” during 5 minutes, but then go all day long saying “Affirmations are bullshit! Affirmations are bullshit!” … which one do you think will win? :)

Eric Disco says:

I’m very skeptical of the whole idea of affirmations – I’ve always thought that if you need to keep telling yourself something, or make a concious effort to believe something then that’s because it’s not true. I want to become a more worthy man, not pretend I am until the mask slips and I get found out for who I am.

Becoming great with women is all about being able to look back over experiences and digest them positively.

Let’s say you’ve never approached a woman before and you decide to do it. You walk up to her and say Hi. She gets creeped out and walks away. You will think to yourself “I’m a loser. I suck at this.” You will have negative self-talk.  If you don’t think you have negative self-talk, you just aren’t aware of it or you don’t have approach anxiety.

In order to get past approach anxiety, you must be able to reframe that experience every time–no matter what the outcome–and say “That was awesome that I took that risk. I am great for learning to do something I am unable to do.”

If you allow those negative thoughts (I’m a loser) to sink in, you will have more anxiety next time you go to approach a woman. If you are able to put that experience into a positive light and feel good about it (I’m a winner for doing it), you will have less approach anxiety next time. Simple as that.

Whether you want to call that an affirmation or positive self-talk or reframing, you must have some mechanism in place to build yourself back up after you take action. Without this you will not become better with women.

Eric

Eric Disco says:

When you said “So much of what goes on in our minds is a construct of what other people think of us, whether we choose to accept it or not.” I thought: “Isn’t what *we* believe about what others think about us what matters?”

Great point! I edited the post.

Eric

Marcello says:

“Whether you want to call that an affirmation or positive self-talk or reframing, you must have some mechanism in place to build yourself back up after you take action. Without this you will not become better with women.”

IMHO the key is actually getting some concrete positive results (sex etc.) early on while you are still driven by enthusiasm and build up from there. Otherwise it becomes just one giant vicious cycle.

Tristan says:

mine 2 cents ” But if you use affirmations, all of a sudden you can say “women love me.” i think this sums all. .. :ASSUME women love you!! ASSUME they want you.. you need the attitude.. cuz thats whats girls are looking for… it is simple as that.. and, i know a lot teachers or instructor dont handle/teach this.. but you need to handle rejections like it is nothing( easy to say; harder to do.. it is inner game.. so focus and lots instructors or teachers gets shut down ;D [trust] )… like it is normal(trust… a lot of good looking guys get shut down all the time [without knowledge of "game" what-so-ever you just have to trust])…. girls can reject you for all kind of stupid reasons(they are not ready/make up/feel some BS/yes she can make up some shit you have never heard before but do not rationalize it just let it go…. blah)…the point is just brush your shoulder off and move to next one/set…that is really is the key and it is that simple…trust.. girls do regret for guys they said B/S… they just dont show it…

Approach anxiety is really SOMETHING and nothing … if you have been in the game for couple years.. you know that hardest nothing is the “FIRST” go of the night(well at least for me.. cuz i will after that open any one/set… which is my personal AA; after that its easy as coke… it is like you have opened up.. for me the next set/one i dont really give a fuck what i say whether they are interested/not…i say stupid shit all the time…. or you just review the materials on this website)… if it fails on the first set you should be like…”Fuck it… i can do better so I would move to the next set” or ” damn… i just went for the impossible set/one to … .. i said some stupid…. shit.. but they loved it [calibration]… my next set/one will be recalibrated and engage” (that is what i do all of the time and trust no one is looking hehehe)

good luck out there

-Tristan

p.s i might just be little buzzed

Apit_torres says:

very awesome article. you’re the best.

BankruptofSelfEsteem says:

I still have to read this article in more depth in order to contribute responsibly, but would like to throw out an initial impression:

At this point, I am hesitant to go along with a speciation of general anxiety before an in-depth investigation into its roots. In my case, for example, and at the risk of sounding like a sniveling crybaby, I am the child of divorce that occured when I was three. As far as I have been able to learn, this can and has resulted in general neurotic anxiety attributable to deeply buried issues surrounding guilt. I was never actually told that I was anything less than bright and capable, so affirmations applicable to approach anxiety may not bee needed, though approach anxiety is a by-product of my general anxiety. Hence, alternative treatment of general anxiety may resolve any and all issues that stem from it.

The risk as I see it in speciation of anxiety might be to complicate rather than simplify the concept of general anxiety.

Hope this makes sense…

Ben says:

I have lots of informations on affirmations. What does Cory Skyy’s product have that revolutionizes all the other affirmation stuff out there? It’s great that this stuff is working for you, but what more can be said about affirmations that it constitutes a $150 price tag?

Ben says:

I’m looking at Cory Skyy’s stuff on the internet, and I would be very interested in finding out if what he’s saying is true. Are there many reviews of his programs out there of his products?

Eric Disco says:

I have lots of informations on affirmations. What does Cory Skyy’s product have that revolutionizes all the other affirmation stuff out there? It’s great that this stuff is working for you, but what more can be said about affirmations that it constitutes a $150 price tag?

There is a LOT of information out there about affirmations. And you could come up with your own.

Let’s say you’re getting flakes when you try to call women back after getting their number. You could create your own affirmation:

“Women want me to be part of their lives.”

Not bad. You could say that every day during your morning affirmation process or carry it with you throughout the day.

But a better affirmation, one that Cory uses is

“Women want to be a part of my life.”

This is much better because it refocuses on you. This is the way a person who is already great with women thinks. It reveals a necessary mindset. Cory has hundreds of affirmations like this on the product.

Yes, you could go through every great mindset you ever learned and turn them into affirmations, or you could get the product and make it easy on yourself.

You could read a thousand forum posts filled with information that has trickled down from the best in the world or you could go directly to the source. Its up to you how you want to spend your time, energy, and money.

Eric

Ben says:

Eric,
I am very intrigued by Cory Skyy and his product. I’m greatly intrigued by the fact that he says that approaching women is not allowed, they must approach you. He also goes on to say that he’s the guru of gurus–but I’ve never heard of him before, ever! Do you find that women automatically approach you using the information in his product? Is there any more information on the web about him and his product? I read your testimonial on the site, so I realize that your sold on him. But money is tight and I want to know more about him before I spend my money on his program.

Thank you.

-Ben

Experienced Guest says:

I think I have something to offer that will clarify the value of affirmations.

First of all, let me point out that guys that have a lot of anxiety around women really just have problems in their relationships to women in general. There are no silver bullets. Affirmation work is not a silver bullet and others are right to point out here that if you’re obsessively affirming things against negatives, you’re really not dealing with the central problem. Affirmatios are only helpful when they are helping to bolster a new global frame of your sexuality, your experience, your relationships. There are other things that have to come into play in order for affirmations to be helpful.

“No” is the first word we learn. Our drives and needs say something else, and they are met with “no.”

Most of our behavior, ideas, beliefs, and even emotions we allow ourselves to feel are kept in check by NO.

NO comes from external sources. NO defines the structure of The Matrix – if you don’t mind hearing the metaphor one more time.

NO becomes internalized as we learn how to navigate the constant stream of NO manipulations in our environment.

Affirmations work when they are used to properly push back against the ways in which The Matrix and our complicity in The Matrix through internalization of NO has compromised our experience. Complicated? Yeah, read it again.

Beta males are socialized to be betas. Alphas are socialized to be alphas, largely because they have somehow found a way to bypass certain compromising NOs. True alphas are alphas because they are free of certain social constraints, though they are still ethical.

Forget about alpha stereotypes. True alphas don’t walk around with their chests puffed out running their loud mouths. That’s posturing and it is fear and insecurity based. That is somebody who is in constant rebellion against perceived NOs, but is effectively contributing to The Matrix by enforcing NO against everyone else in his environment.

Affirmations work when they affirm what is true about nature, your nature, your relational equality to all women, human sexual nature, and so forth. They have to be grounded in something tangible.

If you weigh 450 pounds, an affirmation isn’t going to help you believe you are 150 pounds. If you’re nervous around women, an contradictory affirmation isn’t going to make you NOT NERVOUS.

You have to understand the source of the messages that are causing an approach to make you nervous. If it’s based on some socio-cultural bullshit like, “OMG, she’s so hot!” Well, then you’ve got a bigger problem than you think you do.

An affirmation at this point that says, “All women think I’m hot because I’m a sexy MoFo,” isn’t going to help you make that approach free of anxiety. Cory Skyy would agree with me here by the way. I haven’t purchased his program YET, but I understand what he’s driving at.

First you need to stop heaping so much value on a woman’s beauty. You need to see the hair, makeup, clothing, heels, and everything else for what it is. Rion Williams can help you with this process a lot more than I can in this post.

Second, affirmations that will shape a default baseline that is based on the facts of nature which challenge all your beta programming, facts that make is an unconscious internal force in your whole consciousness that men have sexual power in relationship to women after all, that you as a man possess this power, and that you will have women attracted to you – this will begin to replace the old “Matrix” forces that you have been complicit in using against yourself all your life.

This is not easy work, and your subconscious (and conscious) will resist before it begins to cooperate. This will be anxiety producing in itself.

There is a growing trend in seduction/dating/mating materials to help guys understand that they are coming from the wrong place totally if they are “approaching” women who haven’t already shown signs of attraction/curiosity/interest.

The whole PUA concept of APPROACHING women ccold as propogated mostly by the Mystery-Style-Durden schools is in itself ANXIETY PRODUCING. Cory Skyy and others are trying to help men identify women who are warm to them before there is any spewing of canned routines and other bullshit.

If you’re a guy’s whose default affirmations are based on NO, your body language and behavior are going to communicate that to everyone in your environment no matter how much of a Mystery Method Clown you have trained yourself to be in the field.

You could do 1,000 approaches to women who aren’t even aware of your presence in the room and you’ll fall flat almost every single time. Actually with 1,000 the odds are probably in your favor of finding a few women who will bear with your routine, but you’ll have a big challenge ahead of you if you’re looking for some authentic attraction.

Cory Skyy is making a wager with his Magnetic Mindset program. He’ll refund your money + 10% + your shipping costs, if you devote 1 hour a day for 90 days to the program and don’t have THREE women approach YOU during that period.

How can there be approach anxiety if you’re not feeling pressure to approach women cold?

As for the guy who posted here who is a child of divorce, well so am I. You can chase your tail for years in therapy and never begin building a stronger more positive default affirmation that is in alignment with your birthrights as a man. I’m not anti-therapy, but just understand that therapy doesn’t always address the present very well and if you believe that by finding the exact origin of something as nebulous as general anxiety is going to set you free, well there’s another limiting belief for you. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

lachumproyale says:

You know, it’s funny. My mom always says stuff like that to me, even to this day. My negative self-talk was so bad that I didn’t believe her! I made up a lot of excuses, chief among them, “oh she’s just my mom she is just saying that shit.” It even started making me feel bad when she said it.

But now it’s coooool

Eric Disco says:

The whole PUA concept of APPROACHING women cold as propagated mostly by the Mystery-Style-Durden schools is in itself ANXIETY PRODUCING.

When guys start doing this, they will experience A LOT MORE ANXIETY than they ever have in their lives. That is because they are finally taking action.

In order to get better with women, you need to be willing to feel more anxiety. This is about acceptance. Part of the root cause of approach anxiety is that you are not willing to feel that feeling in the first place. If you’ve been avoiding doing something you’ve always wanted to do out of fear, you won’t have felt that anxiety too much anymore. You’ll have gotten good at avoiding feeling that anxiety.

You’ll think about approaching women and won’t and then will feel RELIEVED afterward. It feels good for a minute, but pissing your pants only keeps you warm for so long. Your life gets narrower and narrower when you aren’t willing to experience anxiety. And every time you feel that relief, your approach anxiety gets worse.

When you first start going out, you begin to feel a rush of anxiety. And just being willing to stay in the presence of that anxiety is the beginning of moving forward.

If you have a fear of elevators, there is no way you will get past that fear unless you are willing to have experiences with elevators and are willing to experience that anxiety, preferably in small doses to begin with.

There are no magic bullets.  But there is a path that will lead you to feel the entirety of your feelings and learn how to work with those feelings instead of trying to figure out ways to avoid those feelings.

Eric

Experienced Guest says:

I agree with you, Eric.

For the sake of clairty, there are a lot of guys going out and feeling like they need to act like clowns or clones in the field and that is causing a lot ot additional heightened anxiety because they are not congruent with themselves or reality.

When you’re connecting with women naturally, there is no anxiety. It’s not even a factor. Yeah, when you’re new at anything you’ll feel some nerves, but with the right frame and if you know what to look for (warm women) you won’t be feeling anxiety. You’ll just be enjoying yourself.

If you’re going out and behaving strangely among strangers, or acting as a performer on stage, yeah, you’re going to be dealing with layers of social interaction that will cause a lot more anxiety.

I think guys who can really emulate somebody like Style, Mystery, or Durden and pull it off naturally are rare. They’re putting on an act of some sort and most people they approach are going to see right through it.

And then there are all those guys who never studied Mystery Method or any kind of pick up who are just naturally good at going out and meeting women and starting sexual relationships.

lordt78 says:

Experienced Guest Says = Cory Skyy :)

Ben says:

Since my last post, I’ve become sold on Cory Skyy. I’m just waiting to get enough spare money to by his product.

Dragonclaw says:

Autosuggestion. Yes, A powerful tool. It may be more beneficial to practice these at night in bed. Doing so will cause your sub-concious mind to dwell on these thoughts. In your unconcious state your mind is open to suggestion more than any other time (apart from deep meditation).

I like to practice affirmations in front of the mirror. I keep saying the affirmation, making it sound more expressive and meaningful everytime I say it. After I say the affirmation I smile and let the words echo in my head.

Ben says:

I did my research on Cory Skyy. I’m sold on his product. It’s just a matter of time before I get the money to order it.

The Dude says:

A quick thought: Many times if the anxiety of approaching a girl, or making moves on her tries to give me cold feet, I just think “FUCK IT! What do I have to lose?” and it’s worked out for me so many times, because I know if I get shot down I’m still a badass for trying. I think it’s just the kick in the ass I need to shut my fear up and put my body into motion. If I’ve been telling myself I’m sexy as hell as I swagger through the bar, see a hot girl, want to approach her, then get anxiety, I give myself that kick in the ass and am immediately rewarded when I return with her number. Approaching helps to reconfirm my affirmations that I AM a sexy motherfucker and she wants me. So FUCK IT, what do you have to lose?

todd says:

ok… so i gave this a try… the affirmations…not cory’s program, but my own and went out today… i didnt make an approach… but yes, a woman at the mall approached me. i think this could get really interesting.
i still need to approach, obviously, but i guess this is not a bad way to begin to turn things around.

aureenc says:

Wow, I really love your stuff. Even though I’m a woman, I can really see how these affirmations and everything else you have written applies to my real life, especially since I know that everything you have covered are real issues that apply to both men and women. Sadly, I just cannot approach people for the life of me so I know this site will help.

I think the affirmations are an excellent addition to all the other articles since I know that if you can use them to be successful in other aspects on your life(school, career, family), you can definitely apply it to your dating/relationships in life.

Maverick says:

I have been using this program for a little over 3 weeks. The biggest impact so far would be the self acceptance. I know I am more than good enough for myself so I am more than good enough for any woman. Just like an athlete practices his game in the gym so he can naturally perform in a real game, I need to build myself up so I can confidently and happily step in to the world. I go out socially with only the expectation of enjoying my own company as well as my friends while be open to meeting new people. When I was younger I did this by accident and my life was very enjoyable. This life has helped me reflect on the accidental affirmations I used in the past both good and bad, on how they directed my life. Now I take full control and focus on positive affirmations from this program. I see others positive encouragement towards me as a bonus, but I don’t rely on it. The big question is “would you recommend this product?” MOST DEFINITELY!

Manipulator says:

That said Eric, the catch is that, even if that is what your mother said, things should have worked fine as much as it did for Cory if some of things were done right. I think its not in our remunerations and we need not blame anyone else for saying bad stuff to you. That is to say that, if we had the capability to GET USED TO beauty and then, they won’t have called you the famous YOU ARE NOT THAT KIND OF GUY line nor will it come in anyway to make a horrid effect. But, since all that UGGS aren’t killed yet as in the olden day Rome or so we must have had aligned our selfs to what we wanted instead where the key to it all is for most AFCs out there.

John says:

Well, I started affirmations for the past 2 weeks. I do feel more confident because of it. I even downloaded a program in which I can do subliminous hypnosis to myself and reprogram my mind (program: Virtual Hypnotist). Yesterday I went out alone. I normally don’t do this but I wanted to get me out of my comfort zone. I felt frozen and badly in the beginning. I felt like people were looking at me and judging me negatively. So I started telling myself “I feel calm and relaxed” “I am cool.” “I don’t care what the fuck people think of me.” … 30 minutes later I felt totally relaxed and cool. I was dancing completely alone. I didn’t care what people thought of me. And this without drinking 1 droplet of alcohol. I thought it was awesome.

I started this form of self hypnosis because in the past months I detected when I encounter a woman, I tell myself crap like “Oh shit, a woman” or “Shit, I will get shy with that woman.” or “Shit, they will respond horrible when I open them”. I am telling myself all these bad and stupid things that cause me to freeze up and not talk to women, even if they clearly show me they like me. I even did an experiment at work. I was talking to a woman in a normal way. I didn’t have negative thoughts. Then I forced myself to think a negative thought and suddenly I started to get shy during the conversation and for a few minutes I had to ignore her a bit and let her talk while avoiding eye contact and look at my computer screen. Then this bad thought stopped and I could have a normal conversation again. The mind is really a weird thing.

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