Make This Easy For Yourself: Warm-Up First

by Eric Disco
Aug 18

It’s a Sunday afternoon and I’m riding up the escalator with Glenn.

We are heading into a shoe store to approach some women.

There’s a break in the conversation. He turns to a middle-aged woman on the escalator behind us.

“High five!” he says.

She slaps his hand and a subdued smile comes across her face.

Glenn’s been doing this all day.

Glenn is unstoppable when it comes to women.

I have seen him run circles around the cutest girls imaginable, escalate faster than you think was possible.

He’s had supermodels eating out of the palm of his hand.

But when he’s warming up, he’ll have fun with anyone.

“Do people ever not high five you?” I ask him.

“Of course. You know how many people look at my hand like their hair is going to fall out if they touch it?”

In weekend workshops whenever we take guys out to meet women, during the day or at night, we always have them do warm-ups.

“We’re not going into the club until you ask five different people for directions,” we tell them.

Warm-ups are just interacting with people before you actually commit to an approach. It involves interacting with people in your environment in some way.

Simply asking directions or the time will suffice.

“Can you tell me how to get to Central Park?”

Doing warm-ups gets your body used to being around people. It gets your voice used to talking and builds your confidence a little bit.

“My whole life is a warm-up,” Glenn says. “I’m social where ever I go.”

“If I walk out my house and I see someone wearing a cool hat the second I walk out, I’ll say ¡ÆWow, that’s a cool hat.’ I immediately will say what’s on my mind.”

“If people bump into me on the street, I’ll be funny about it. I’ll say ¡ÆThere’s easier ways to say hi, if you wanted to say hi you didn’t have to push me.’”

“I’ll start asking people for directions. I’ll ask them about trains that don’t exist. I’ll ask them questions that aren’t yes/no answers.”

“I’ll start asking weird questions like ¡ÆHey do you know anywhere around here that sells broccoli.’”

And people warm up to Glenn.

But the purpose of warm-ups is not to get a good reaction from people. They are to get you from being in your head to being in a social mode.

Your mind and body are in a completely different state, Glenn explains.

“When you’re ¡Æin your head’ you’re in your own world,” he says “All you’re doing is hearing yourself think. You’re thinking about stuff that hasn’t happened or that has already happened. Just talking to people helps you to be in the present moment.”

“I want to be used to talking to people, just in a better state of mind so if I see someone I like I will be able to walk up to them without hesitating.”

Ideally, you want to be social all the time. There is almost never a situation when you can’t be social with people. You can always say “Hi, how are you doing.”

However, warm-ups imply that you are taking pro-active steps to go out and meet women and that you want to get your mouth moving before you do so.

I always do warm-ups. And I make sure I attach nothing to the outcome.

I do banter with women. But a lot of times I don’t banter with women when I do warm-ups.

Why?

I want to get used to talking to people without trying. I want to get used to interacting with people without any objective in mind other than just to do it.

And that’s part of the whole point of warm-ups. There is no objective other than just to be social. They are meaningless.

It is being social just for the sake of being social.

And if your mouth has been moving already, interacting with strangers, it makes a huge difference when it comes to approach anxiety.

It’s a ramp up for you to talk to that amazing woman when you see her, rather than starting cold and anti-social.


Glenn is a coach for dating guru Brad P and is available for coaching in NYC.

-----------------

posted in Ramp Up

COMMENTS
15 responses
Adam JP says:

Glenn P is always incredible with the laaadies, he should release a program on day game.

Max says:

Hi
Do looks really matter? I think Glenn is good looking so he gets the audience? I have a friend who’s pretty confident ‘cuz he gets positive social feedback all the time but whenever I am with him I fell lesser and he opens up all the girls. I only do it if I read your posts like ten times and decide to do it regardless of anything. So in your opinion how much do looks matter and btw I have been given an 8 to a 9 but my friend is a def. 9 so just wondering?

so-cal says:

@Max – I think looks matter but not as much as you think.

People that get good social feedback as you say tend to get good reactions based on the way they interact, not their looks. Of course you should always be well groomed and look tidy, but if I were you I’d study the body language (especially facial expressions) of people that are good at social interaction.

You’ll see that these people have a way of making strangers feel at ease and also adding a bit of excitement to situations that you or I may make awkward.

Most social situations are dull and awkward. If you can be that guy who breaks the tension early in the conversation, injects excitement, a bit of kino, all with complete strangers, then you’ll go far.

Anonymous says:

WHen I first started approaching, I would agree that doing 5 warmup approaches would help a lot. Be nowadays, it doesn’t do anything for me so I just dive into doing the compliment opener. After I do one or two compliment opener, I’m ready to go. I don’t waste my time warming up a lot. :)

Lee says:

Max, there is good news and bad news. Looks do matter. The better looking you are, the less you have to do to get a date. Paul Janka can walk up to girls, say a few words about the weather, and follow up with something like “You know you are adorable. I would love to take you out for a drink some time. Give me your number…” But if you get a date based entirely on your looks, the quality of your date is going to suffer. Glenn is going to kick my ass for saying this, but he is NOT naturally a good looking guy. It’s Glenn’s style and confidence that make him attractive. Developing the right style and a strong sense of confidence is something you should do as well. If a guy who is a 1 competes with another guy who is a 10, looks are going to play a huge role in the difference between their success rates. But if you and your friend are both relatively handsome, personality, style, and confidence are going to be the dominant factor in your success. One love, brothah!

Eric Disco says:

Do looks really matter? I think Glenn is good looking so he gets the audience?

Glenn is not the best looking guy in the world. I’ve heard him talk about how they made fun of him in high school for having a gonzo nose. He’s not ugly. But it’s not his looks that attract women.

Glenn has amazing presence. He has crazy confidence. And he knows how to let his personality shine. His personality is so much louder than his physical looks could ever be.

Looks do play a part. But there are a lot of other things that play far more important roles for women.

I’m not the best looking guy int he world. It used to bother me. I used to try to part my hair differently and even thought about plastic surgery at one point.

And don’t laugh at me. I’m sure all of you guys have before. But changing just my pointy jewish nose wouldn’t help. I have pasty white skin, small squinty eyes and a weak chin.

But now it just makes me laugh. It hardly bothers me. I almost like it. It makes me rely less on stupid bullshit and be more confident than I would otherwise. When I walk up to a super hot girl and she’s into me, I know it’s because I’m the coolest motherfucker on the block. And I worked to get there.

I’ve written more on this before. Check out Dealing With Physical Challenges When Dating

Eric

Tim says:

You know when you see football coaches being interviewed before a game? The cliche they always come out with is the importance of an early goal,if they score early everyone settles down and enjoys playing at the top of their game,if they dont the longer the game goes on the more tense it becomes and the more frustrated they get.

Thats kind of how it is for me,if I go into town I have to get a conversation in as soon as I can,if I dont the longer I go without talking to someone the more likely the day will drift away with nothing happening.
So now I like to use public transport or the park and ride and ask the first person I see something,and have a bit of gentle banter with them,gives me a head start before I get into town,often its some old folks,or kids,it doesnt matter,for your first interaction there is no pressure like there would be if it was a cute girl.After that I find I get bolder with each interaction,and have very little anxiety the rest of the day.

Eric Disco says:

You know when you see football coaches being interviewed before a game? The cliche they always come out with is the importance of an early goal,if they score early everyone settles down and enjoys playing at the top of their game,if they dont the longer the game goes on the more tense it becomes and the more frustrated they get.

Awesome analogy!!

Eric

Brian C says:

Overthinking is big problem for me (and I think a lot of other guys). To be good at anything in life its best to sit down for a second and start using instinct. I remember I used to suck at sports. I would go to gym class every day and I wouldnt even bother to try. For some reason, I believed that if I did I would look stupid and embarass myself. Completely and totally pointless and counter productive way of thinking if you asked me now (who cares what they think?). Approaching girls is similar, if you do try, occasionaly you are going to fail (what fun would it be if you always succeeded) but if you dont try you will always fail. So dont worry about it, you cant control it (even the best will not succeed 100% of the time). Instead of listening to the voice in your head wondering if she is going to think your weird if you approach her or saying somehting along the lines of “Im too fat”, Remember, YOU ROCK for just having the balls to get up there and approach her, and that makes you king. Who cares if she thinks your weird? As long as your a friendly likeable guy, and you treat her just like you would treat the next person, you will more than likely get a positive response (and if you dont, who cares about her anyway). Too many guys just sit there waiting to approach a girl, and by the time they do, they come off as stuttering, unconfident, needy wimps . Basically, we need to stop overanylizing shit and just do it.

You could also try dressing yourself in attractive, somewhat flashy clothing, going out with a bunch of friends and being a very social, awesome guy, girls will occasionaly open you. SO you can be lazy :)

nonstop says:

Warm ups help, a lot. This girl I wasn’t really into opened me today while I was at the mall shopping, and it helped me approach this attendant on another floor later since I felt confident and relaxed.

Jayy says:

Just now I went out and did 4-5 warm-ups asking various women (attractive and otherwise) directions to different places. I had to get something from the shops so I headed off to town. On the way to the shop I noticed a girl casually strolling around, sipping coffee. “Perfect opportunity” I thought, “someone who’s not in a hurry to get anywhere”. But I was too scared to go and up and open her. So I carried on and got my shopping done.

On the way back home I decided to walk through the park. And lo and behold, the same girl was sat on a bench chilling. This time I got the nerve and went up and asked for directions. She seemed quite happy to try and help me out, though she didn’t have a clue since she wasn’t around from the local area. Eventually, when the direction conversation started closing up I came clean and told her the reason I approached was coz I thought she was stunning and just wanted to let her know that. She thanked me with a smile, so then I tried to close her by asking if she’d like to go out. I know this is no mPUA way of doing this but I was doing my best not to be hesitate or be nervous! Anyway, she gave me a number even though she was hesitant coz she’d never been asked out in a park before.

Personally I’m just psyched that I was able to go out and do this. Thanks to Eric and all the other guys on here :)

j says:

I really liked this post. Can you recommend me some easy openers that you would say? And to who? Groups or just one person? Does it matter?

As a beginner, I’m always caught up in my head so I think anything I say is stupid and everyone is staring when I stop someone. Or everyone will start to stare and be judgemental if I do approach someone (and are cheering for my failure so they can laugh at me).

Eric says:

Can you recommend me some easy openers that you would say? And to who? Groups or just one person? Does it matter?

You can ask for the time. You can ask for restart recommendations or if there’s a place to get on the internet. If you’re in a place, you can ask what time it closes or where the restrooms are.

Eric

Boreus Yurkinoff says:

I’ve been friends with and known Glenn P for about 8yrs. We hang out, have dinner, coffee… but I have to say I have never seen him in action. When we go out at least the 4 or 5 times he took me out to coach me, he won’t demonstrate for me, he just gives me exercises and watches me, give me feedback and off to the next one. To be honest I have only worked with him for a total of about 8hrs spread out over the past 4 yrs so I can’t say much BUT I do know from his reputation in the community he is said to be really really awesome. I would say to just do what he says a trust it is what you need to do!
Some day when I can afford it I want to hire him for a real coaching, he is my first choice. It is very exciting to even think about!

LEAVE A COMMENT