Just stop talking. PLEASE stop talking.

by Eric Disco
Apr 11

I’m out with a student on the streets of New York. He is doing extremely well approaching women.

He is continually opening and engaging women who are literally supermodels.

But there’s something wrong.

With all the approaches he’s doing, and all the warm reception he’s getting from these gorgeous women (and they were gorgeous), something is wrong.

The girls aren’t into it in the end.

He’ll ask for their number and they say “I don’t give my number out.”

This guy obviously has it together. He is a fucking cool guy. He’s charismatic, as cool as any guy I’ve met. He has a great life, we talked about some exciting things he’d done. He obviously has a lot to offer.

So what’s wrong?

I look at what he’s doing.

These girls are into him when he approaches them. They are smiling and receptive. He has solid body language. No complaints there.

The girls keep smiling as he talks.

And that’s when I notice it.

His mouth is moving.

And it keeps moving.

And moving.

And moving.

And moving.

And the girl keeps smiling and nodding.

And by the end of the interaction, I notice that the girls are still smiling, but THEY DON’T LIKE HIM.

Why?

Based on his profile, there are so many things about this guy that a woman should want.

But that’s not what makes women want a guy. It’s how you make her feel about herself that makes her want you.

Your ears are more powerful than your mouth–because they get HER MOUTH moving. And that’s when she starts to like you.

After the interaction, we talk about what should happen. She should be doing more talking than him, I say.

And a light bulb goes off in his head.

Yes, he’s a cool guy. But the more he talks and talks and talks and tries to convince her what a cool guy he is, the more uncool he seems.

The most important skill with women is to be able to LISTEN. So few people are really able to listen, particularly when they are nervous around a beautiful woman.

But this guy has been through our Art of Rappot and Daygame workshop. And he has practiced approaching, so it doesn’t take long to figure out what to do next.

By the end of the day, he begins fixing his problem. He meets a Brazilian beauty and gets her talking. Pretty soon they go on an instant date

And in the end it’s her who’s asking him for his number.

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posted in Rapport Skills

COMMENTS
5 responses
Cameron says:

Hey Eric,

Awesome article,

So what advice would you give to guys to get the girls talking?

Ask open ended questions and listen?

Relentless says:

I too am trying to implement this skill when chatting it up with the ladies. I’m just now getting used to approaching a single woman everyday, so i still have a lot to learn. Somedays I’ll have to put all of my energy into not avoiding the approach, while other days I’ll jump into the opportunity on the spot.

Sadly, I stopped trying to close after like my first 5 rejections, but I’m sure if I see the chemistry happen, I’ll go for the number, or instant date.

Eric Disco says:

So what advice would you give to guys to get the girls talking?

Ask open ended questions and listen?

Yes. I will have a follow-up article next week. Open-ended questions are great. Open-ended questions usually start with how or why and require a more elaborate respnse rather than a one-word answer. And it’s not as easy as it sounds to pull off. We want to let her off the hook, go easy on her. When actually “going easy on her” makes things more difficult.

Eric

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Thirtyplus says:

I like this a LOT. It’s amazing how much more attractive I find myself being perceived as to girls when I just lay back and stare at them.

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