Persistence Gets the Girl

by Eric Disco
Mar 15

“You were persistent” she says to me.

“I was?” I respond. I had no idea.

“You kept contacting me. I was a little drunk when we met and I didn’t even remember much about you. I never give guys my phone number so I figured I liked you.”

I met her in a bar. I saw her sitting down checking her text messages and sat down next to her.

“Hi!” I’d said with a smile, as if she were my best friend. I had talked to her for all of ten minutes. But we really connected. So I knew she wouldn’t flake.

It took her three weeks before we met up. I’d sent her a few flirty texts in between, some of which she responded to.

Finally, on a Sunday night I sent her a “Hey I’m going out for drinks tonight, do you wanna tag along?” and she responded with “When and where.”

Persistent, huh?

Too many guys drop the ball when it comes to being persistent with women. They leave her a text or voicemail and she doesn’t respond. So they assume the girl doesn’t like them.

There are a million reasons why a girl won’t text or call back. Maybe she just met someone else and is seeing someone right now. In a week or two or three, the situation could be totally different for her.

Maybe she just casually hooked up with someone and feels weird about talking to another guy.

I recently had a girl text me that a family member recently died and she was sorry she’s been out of touch.

The key with women is to not let your feelings get hurt if she rejects you. Even if she cancels on you. You don’t know her, so why should you be hurt?

Admittedly, when I had less women in my life, it was more difficult to not get offended when a woman cancels. But now, if a woman cancels, chances are I could call someone else up. Or I might just chill out alone for a much needed break.

Sometimes a girl will cancel if she doesn’t feel enough comfort or connection.

A while back, there was a cutey who I would flirt with whenever I went into the coffee shop. She was definitely into me. The holiday was coming up and some of my friends were having a party. I invited her out.

She was excited at first and said yes.

Then the day of the party she called and cancelled on me.

Did I get hurt? Of course not. This means I’ll be able to meet other girls at the party.

Two weeks later I took her out to lunch near where she works and we were able to really connect. Then she felt fine going out with me and we started seeing each other.

Some people would call that persistence. But if you live like you come from abundance, it’s easy to not get hung up on the acceptance or rejection of one person, particularly a person you don’t know that well.

So how do you know when to call it quits with a girl?

When do you stop texting her?

When do you say ‘enough is enough’ if she cancels on you?

If you had every night of the week filled with things to do, people to see, women to date, and a girl cancelled on you, how would you act?

You’d be a bit irritated, but it would depend on how into you the girl is, and how into her you are.

If she’s truly apologetic and wants to see you still, then maybe you’d let it slide. But you wouldn’t schedule the date for the next day. You would probably schedule it for a week later because, hey, you’re a busy guy.

If the girl cancelled again, it wouldn’t take too long before you said bye bye without shedding a tear.

What about texting?

Texting requires little to no effort and can often have big results. If you have a good arsenal of fun flirty text messages, you can keep it going almost indefinitely.

If the girl responds to every other or every third flirty text message then you are golden. Keep it on the burner. Send out a text if you get a cancelation.

A lot of this is just timing. If she’s involved in something, it may take her a few weeks, even a few months to be ready to see you. By shooting her a text every now and again you keep yourself in the loop.

And chances are, she’ll see that as persistence.

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posted in Initiative and Inhibition, Text and Phone Game

COMMENTS
12 responses
Cam says:

Yeh Eric, cheers for that. I just had a date set up with a cutie and she canceled on me, I had given up on her but I’ll send her another text.

peace and love

Another Cam says:

man I always get that where I’ll get turned down, or cancelled on, or whatever and I just call it quits. I get this hurt little boy attitude of “well I tried, if she wants me she can come get me” and I move on. I know you’ve mentioned a few flirty texts (like “I’ve lost my phone can you help me find it?”) that are in your arsenal; what are some other good things to say in a random flirty text?

Jason says:

Great article, care to share some flirty text messages?
i really liked your birthday sms.

Eric Disco says:

Great article, care to share some flirty text messages?
i really liked your birthday sms.

Here’s some stuff to get you started. Some of these are great and really funny. A couple of things to think about first.

Firstly, you want to come up with stuff on your own. It just sounds more like YOU that way. Plus, you want to get better at this, right?

Secondly, once you get to know her, you are better off sending flirtly texts that involve specific things between the two of you or something about her, or a callback from a joke between the two of you, rather than a text that you could send to anyone. Have fun!

• [if you don't hear from her for a while] You don’t write, you don’t call, you don’t send flowers…

• Is it too soon for casual texts? [If she plays with it, follow up with] How would you feel about group texts?

• I’ve been kidnapped and I’m being held for ransom. Bring a suitcase full of sexy.

• Talk nerdy to me. [Whatever she responds with, follow it up with:] I said NERDY not DIRTY. Perv.

• I decided that I don’t want you to spend more than 500 dollars on my birthday present.

• How’s Thursday treating you? [Or whatever day]

• Are you as cute as everyone says you are today?

• If you had superpower what would it be?

• I have a surprise for you

• Those beautiful eyes, those soft lips, that amazing smile… but enough about me, how is your day?

• I have good news for you… [wait till she texts back] I’ve reviewed your application for cool kids club and I’d like to discuss it with you

• There’s a rumor going around that you look especially hot today. Can you confirm or deny these allegations?

[...] Persistence Gets the Girl From: approachanxiety.com  “You were persistent” she says to me.“I was?” I respond. I had no idea.“You kept contacting me. I was a little drunk when we met and I didn’t even remember much about you. I never give guys my phone number so I figured I liked you.” » more 1 [...]

bakanekoz says:

wow thanks eric, i loved those, some made me really crack up =]

after reading that list ill try to make up some of my own ones too

thanks for the great help again.

Cameron says:

Oh the extra texts resulted in a date being set up!

Sadly she flaked…..

Thirtyplus says:

This is very true. One of my longest relationships ever, and a really solid, sweet girl, had a similar story….said she didn’t usually give out her number and wasn’t even sure why she did it at the time….then deliberately ignored my calls and texts for a few weeks….but of course at the time she was just one of a few girls I had in rotation, so I wasn’t deterred.

Very fruitful relationship resulted. Let that be a lesson.

Great texts, btw. Txt and phone game have always been a weakness of mine, and I’m starting to focus more on them, so ta.

spicy salmon says:

awesome post Eric. I had the same experience with my ex. We met at the club drunk and she ended up giving her REAL phone number to me. She said she usually gives out fake numbers but in my case i was diff. on our first hangout, i tried kissing her and I was rejected with her turning her cheeks for me to kiss. I was embarrassed but on our second date i gave it a shot again and got it. I was persistent with her because I really liked her.

The lesson I learned was that NEVER GIVE UP on what you want. Unless of course if you get a solid red light.

Max says:

First of all, very well written blog. I disagree with persistence in the since that it kind of makes you look like a chump or that you are more into her than she is into you. You make a good point with being busy though, you should always have better stuff to do. Here’s my thoughts on too much attention- it can be an uphill battle. Women and effort are on of those cases where more isn’t always better. http://maxbottaro.campuscmo.com/the-art-of-woo-part-iii/

Karma says:

Nice!

Rems says:

First, I would like to say Thanks for this good article!

Second, I find really funny this part that you wrote:

“Did I get hurt? Of course not. This means I’ll be able to meet other girls at the party.”

It’s a great positive way of thinking! Abundance mentality! I like it very much!

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