Nice Guys Finish Fat

by Eric Disco
Jan 28

This post is by By Dr. Matthew Anderson

Let’s look at how too much niceness can make you fat.

Nice is like grease. A little grease in a car makes it run smoothly.

A little grease in the pan keeps the food from sticking.

Imagine what would occur if you poured a gallon of grease all over the engine of your car.

Or if you tried to saut«± your vegetables with a pound instead of an ounce.

The car would smoke and burn and your food would make you sick. This is what happens with too much nice.

Too much nice makes you phony.

Too much nice makes you insincere.

Too much nice makes you slippery, slidey and oily.

Worst of all, too much nice can make you unaware of how you really feel, what you really think and who you truly are. That is both dangerous to your psychological well-being and fattening.

Now let’s focus on the fattening part. I am convinced that 90 percent of all weight-challenged persons use comfort food to avoid their uncomfortable emotions.

My personal and professional exploration into the causes of weight gain bears this out. What does this have to do with nice? Everything.

Individuals who are overweight and habitually nice are people who are afraid of their not-nice emotions thoughts and behaviors.

A too-nice person will not allow themselves to express anger, be assertive or aggressive, be demanding, or say what they really mean if they think it might not appear nice.

Thus, a too-nice person must constantly avoid deny or repress significant aspects of their personality that do not fit into what I like to call their nice-box.

The favorite tool for this among weight-challenged people is food. Comfort food will temporarily mask an entire host of not-nice personality attributes.

Simply put it works like this:

You believe that being nice is an extremely important personality trait.

You believe that being not-nice is a very unacceptable personality trait.

To you, not-nice equals emotions/attitudes like anger, selfishness, aggression, outspokenness, bluntness¡Ä You get the point.

Because you are a human being you feel and think quite a few not-nice emotions and thoughts every day. You cannot avoid them, but you try… because you want to be nice.

Instead of questioning your too-nice value system and learning to deal with your uncomfortable emotions and thoughts in a healthy way, you eat.

You eat comfort food to disappear whatever seems not-nice. Then you get fat.

Now for the good news.

You do not have to be nice all the time. You can learn to be nice when it is appropriate.

You can also learn to be authentic, fully human and a person who has legitimate feelings, thoughts and behaviors that you heretofore defined as not-nice and unacceptable.

You can learn to be a whole person. A too-nice person is a partial person. Being whole is healthier and in truth, is a lot more fun.

As you learn to accept and manage those not-so-nice thoughts and feelings you will discover you need far less comfort food to help you hide from your wholeness.

You will also discover that your self-esteem, personal power, creativity increase.

And the most surprising discovery might be that many people like you a heck of a lot better since you dropped the too-nice mask.

I am no longer a nice person. I am leaner, meaner (just a little) and far more real than the nice guy I used to hide behind.

For more from Dr. Matthew Anderson, please visit


posted in Attraction

7 responses
Jason says:

Great post, same old song and dance, but an important one for those who have not seen this play. The day I stopped pandering for acceptance, and seeking rapport, was the day i started to get laid consistantly. A great book on this topic is Dr. Robert Glovers, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I contribute alot of my success to this site and those like it in the community who are here to better themselves and others. Thank you Eric, dont ever stop contributing.

Stefan says:

I second the “No More Mr. Nice Guy” book. Also has some good content about how your relationships with your parents affect you today and your “nice guy” behaviors.

Peter says:

I know a lot of mean, fat people. I would say it’s 30/30/40, mean, nice, and balanced. I’ve struggled with weight in the past, fluctuating between 160 and 220. I at around 200 now, but I’m also much better with women (thanks by the way), and my weight does not correlate to my style of niceness or meanness, nor with my success with women. In fact, I’d say I used to be too nice and slim, but now I’m ballanced and heavy. I’m sure the analogy works for some people, but being a weight guy, it doesn’t with me. Being overweight is more often like having a broken hunger-guage.

Gurki says:

I totally agree with Pete. I dont think that there is any correlation between nice & fat at all. You could do crazy things with statistics…

Sinn says:

Now I know how I manage to stay soo thin…

Interesting stuff


Juan says:

I love the links you provided for

I guess there are all kinds of hidden surprises ;)

Eric Disco says:

I love the links you provided for

I guess there are all kinds of hidden surprises ;)

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