Giddy Up

by Eric Disco
Aug 1

Hey Kids!

It’s summer and I’m out there having fun, I’ll be writing more soon. In the meantime, here’s some fun stuff.

Lotsa Love,

Eric

Flip Your Text

Send her an upside down e-mail using regular text. Flip Your Text

Me and Her Are On A No-Name Basis

Pickup the latest slang, just like all the cool kids. Urban Dictionary Word of the Day

Inane Text Messages

Favorite text of the day: “I decided that I don’t want you to spend more than 500 dollars on my birthday.”

Pick Me Up

Favorite Opener of the Day: “Hi! You’re Mike’s girlfriend, right? Joey’s? Ben’s girlfriend…? No? Okay, cool, you’re my new girlfriend!”

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posted in Attraction

COMMENTS
14 responses
John Doe says:

”Hi! You’re Mike’s girlfriend, right? Joey’s? Ben’s girlfriend…? No? Okay, cool, you’re my new girlfriend!”

Fun line, it sounds like a pickupline so you’d have to be ready with some blowout destroying banter!

betamax says:

What happened?

I met a girl for some coffee. We chatted for a bit before she had to leave to babysit her nephew. Later that night, I get the following message over AIM:

“Not sure if you want my number, but here it is…”

Ok. So apparently she’s interested? I call her up the next day, and ask her if she wants to do anything the day after. She says yes.

We bowl for a couple hours. I ask if she wants to go shoot some pool. She says no, but that she would like to go get something to eat. We stop for some ice cream. We talk a bit. We get on the topic of past relationships (I knew I was in trouble at this point). Talking about past relationships on a date is a recipe for disaster.

After that point, something didn’t feel right. It was getting late, so we both went home soon after. I tried to salvage what I could by writing to her the next day:

===
“I hope I didn’t freak you out with some of the stuff I said on Monday. I thought about what I said at Friendly’s, and I think it sounded pretty bad.

The whole bit about there being too many girls out there was just a suggested coping mechanism for dealing with an ended relationship.. I didn’t mean to make it sound as if I thought you were not unique (if I did I wouldn’t have asked you out). You are a snowflake imo ;)

As far as my story of past relationships, those are just that.. in the past. I know it’s kind of not wise to talk about past relationships on a date. Sometimes I’m not careful and don’t watch what I say when I get comfortable around someone. I am who I am right now, not three years ago.

Perhaps you never even gave it a second thought, but I’m sorry if I made you feel awkward.

Later ;)
===

I got back the following:

===
“hey
no u didnt freak me out..haha.I had fun. but i know that u obviously know that something is up. i know i can tell when someone isnt interested anymore. i am interested in you but only as a friend. i hope that is ok. i just dont feel any chemistry between us on my part. nothing anyone can do about that. i do like hanging out with you so i hope u will be ok with us just being friends, if not i understand. anyways….i hope u are having as much fun at work as im having. haha. have a great day.ttyl ”
===

Is it truly possible to fuck something up that easily? Why would she have gone on a second date if she was only interested in being friends?

Goddam this dating bullshit.

Getting stuck in friend zone tends to be an attraction problem. How is your banter with her? It’s also possible you didn’t escalate with her soon enough and get sexual. It’s possible you didn’t raise the tension with her enough. Maybe you were Mr Nice guy and didn’t introduce anything to make her want to go after you, to make you the challenge. Ways you can do this include making sure you aren’t always approving of EVERYTHING she does. It’s not always about making her feel as comfortable as possible. It’s also about having some edge.

Hope this helps,

Eric

betamax says:

eh, I bantered w/ her a little bit about the chick flicks she likes to watch. it was only the second date. are you saying to push for sex on the second date? I mean put my arm around her a couple of times, but I wasn’t pushing for sex.

how do you raise the tension when bowling???

why do I have to act out these stupid roles just to get a girl to like me? how long do I have to pretend to be an aggressive macho dude before I can start just being myself?

why do I have to act out these stupid roles just to get a girl to like me? how long do I have to pretend to be an aggressive macho dude before I can start just being myself?

Stupid roles, huh? I’m a nice guy. I like being nice to people. I like the feeling I get when I’m nice to a person.

Beautiful women get guys trying to be nice to them ALL THE TIME. If your only tool is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail. If being nice is you’re main operative, you will be stuck in friend zone over and over.

That’s because BEING NICE ISN’T BEING YOU. It’s being nice. If you want to be nice to people, go volunteer at a soup kitchen or an animal shelter or do some other type of volunteer work. I highly recommend it.

But if you want women to want to fuck you, you can’t NICE them into it. They can sense when a guy is just being nice to them because he wants to fuck them or because he wants a girlfriend. It’s lame and it’s boring and it’s not really you. It’s somebody who’s afraid to BE HIMSELF.

I know because I’ve been there.

I have a tendency to want to get rid of all the tension when I’m with women. I want to make them as comfortable as possible. I want them to be happy.

But it’s a lame tendency AND IT KILLS ALL SEXUAL TENSION.

You want to raise the tension when you’re bowling with her? Tell her she’s horrible at it and you don’t want her on your team. Let her wonder if you’re kidding. Or even better, instead of blathering on with conversation, turn to her and just look her in the eye and SHUT THE FUCK UP. Let her continue the conversation. SAY LESS and have her wonder what’s going on in your head.

Becoming a man who interacts with women on a truthful, genuine level is not something you can just turn on, any more than you can just turn on being an extrovert. It’s something you have to work at, something that has to become part of you, SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE.

Yes, you can be nice to women, but not before you make them wonder whether you approve of them or not. She says something superficial–say she shops at Walmart, or where ever–you say “Oh my god, you shop there? I can’t talk to you anymore.”

I’m not saying be a dick to women. There are plenty of dicks out there. But you just got FRIENDED and that means she is not attracted to you. And it’s not because of how you look or how much money you make or the car you drive, it’s because of HOW YOU DIDN’T MAKE HER FEEL.

You’re doing good man. You got a date with her. You made her feel comfortable. Great. Now it’s time to learn to raise the sexual tension with her.

betamax says:

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to come up with this stuff with anything less than a three-ring binder with tabs on every cue and response. I’ve never been good at mind games. I always hear girls complaining about games.

Guys get brought up hearing from their parents and other women that women like nice guys who don’t play head games, only to venture out on their own and have reality pee in their faces.

I’m at a total loss on what to do with the next girl I meet some sort of Shakespearian situation where Eric’s hiding behind a bush telling me everything to do or say… this is impossible.

Ha ha. It’s cool, man. You’re doing okay. And you don’t need a three-ring binder. Quite the opposite. Things start to get simpler as you get better at this, not more complicated. Don’t memorize anything.

Start by giving out some wary glances and some disinterest in your conversations. Don’t say “Awesome!” when you find out she’s a musician. Say with a wary glance, “Really… Hmmm… what kind?” Make her give you more before you say “Awesome!”

And then turn around and make fun of her for something else.

It’s called push/pull. It’s tricky to master, but one of the best ways to connect with a person. If you show a little disinterest in something, then when you do show interest in something else, it seems likeyou are that much more genuine.

Also, just by showing a little disinterest, you free yourself from a lot of the constraints of the “nice guy.” You are sending yourself a message that it’s okay to not approve of everything she does.

I’m going to be writing more about this stuff in the next few weeks. Stay tuned.

Eric

Chris says:

Hey, that was interesting guys. You asked some good questions betamax, and Eric’s replies weren’t too bad either ;)

anon_poster says:

A girl gave me her sn over this online dating site. I sent her an IM a couple days later, but she seemed rather cold. Maybe I came on too strong by saying “what’s up”. Anyway, here’s the online crash and burn:

[16:22] Me: sup
[16:22] Her: who is this
[16:23] Me: XXXX from the singles thing
[16:23] Her: how did u get this
[16:23] Me: you mailed it to me
[16:23] Me: XXXX is my name on it
[16:24] Her: oh ok
[16:24] Me: so don’t worry. you’re not being stalked ;) (Note: this was my attempt to ‘banter’)
[16:25] Her: ok
[16:25] Me: so what’s up?
[16:26] Her: nothing
[16:27] Me: i see
[16:27] Me: you have facebook or myspace?
[16:28] Her: yes but ur kinda distracting me from talking to my boyfriend
[16:28] Me: you’re boyfriend?
[16:28] Her: yes
[16:28] Me: why would you be on a singles website if you got a boyfriend?
[16:29] Her: bc
[16:29] Me: it’s cool if you don’t wanna talk. just say so.
[16:29] Me: you don’t have to make up a reason. i won’t be crushed :P
[16:29] Her: ok dont wanna talk bye
[16:29] Me: peace

Ocean says:

Dude, you killed it when you said “What’s up?”.. even if she was 7, she mustve guys hittin on her like all the time and you said the same averageFC thing to her.. and never take boyfriend or excuses as a no.. until you are 200% sure she means it… you didn’t even investigate or flirt with her and you ejected.. you need to learn a lot but good effort.

vic|ous says:

I hate all the talk about “game” and openers etc and dissecting your chatlogs. If you’ve got to analyse chatlogs (let alone keep them), then you haven’t got the self-confidence you need and your actions have answered your own questions.

We’re not saying to actively be mean to girls, but rather be honest with yourself (and hence with them). When you’ve just met a girl, her priorities/needs ARE NOT yours.

Be CREATIVE. So many people try to fit a mould of what they think is attractive, when the most attractive thing about someone is their unique perspective on the world (and how it is different from your own).

Alexandra says:

Hey.. I thought that text message was just a special one just for me! :) Yes, I loved it and got a great laugh out of it! Guys.. you should use this one.. Eric knows what he’s talking about!

-Alexandra

tallguy says:

I used to be very shy with women and was always so nice but was very naieve and innocent. i’m not going to be modest. i get any woman I go for now. it’s simple – i realised i’m a guy with a lot goin for me and women deserve a decent guy. whats more, women love nice guys but you have to and i emphasize this, have to be dominant. be outrageously cocky – let her know you want her, do it with your eyes. i once pulled a girl just by looking at her until she came over then when she got closer i said nothing and then slowly went in for the kiss. she couldn’t believe it had happened just after but there you go. i was in England a while back and loads of guys were trying to chat up a blonde in a club but weren’t getting anywhere. i was checking her out and seeing if she was checking me out – she barely gave me a glance so i said – if she doesn’t come over to me, i’m not going to bother. realising i had failed on this occasion i decided to go upstairs to the smoking area and just as i was going up the stairs i caught her tracking me so i point at her then myself then upstairs and whispered “now” then I went upstairs thinking I was a prat. then i get a tap on the shoulder “hi”, “hi” is said. ” are you Irish”, “yeah” I said, “can I kiss you”, “emmm, yeah” that was it – went home with her – a stunner. its just total condifence – looks are not enough. that said don’t fight a losing battle. your choice of words can help aswell – learn a little about body language, nlp and hypnosis. We employ them everytime we engage in conversation with somebody.
i’m average looking but i have been getting better results with women since i started weight lifting – i’m slim with a sprinter type of build. no hulk, most women hate that. hope it helps – be the man not the boy. oh i’ve a hairy back aswell – giv them good sex and they’ll love your back or at least put up with it. good luck

Axel says:

Ha ha, that’s bloody brilliant!

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