In this fascinating interview with Pickup 101 coach and guru Dave Stern, we talk about what is at the root of learning to handle approach anxiety as well as the search for what is truly fulfilling in love and life.

“A lot of guys get into this thinking that they’ll be happier when they can meet more women, or when they can be dating several women simultaneously, or when they get a girlfriend.

I think what they realize is that they are looking for something bigger, they’re looking for a sense of satisfaction in their lives.

Sure, beautiful women are a big part of that. I know they are for me. I’m really interested in having great friends in my life and women that I’m really attracted to, but for me there’s a lot more to it than that.”

Want Some Satisfaction? - Download Free MP3 Podcast (41 min., 38 MB)

You see that girl.

The thought enters into your mind for a split second: Talk to her.

But you don’t. Why?

It costs too much. You’ve paid the price before. Too many times.

You don’t want to feel the way you did the last time you approached a girl.

And the time before.

This is simple economics. The economy of emotions. You don’t want to feel that inevitable rejection. You have your dignity and you don’t want to lose it.

So you keep walking.

And that’s all you have, is your dignity.

And you have been exiled. You are shunned to the sidelines of life. Doomed to watch. Read the rest of this entry »

About ten years ago, one of my best friends introduced me to a concept that changed my life.

We were sitting around in his basement after band practice talking and he told me that he never lies.

I didn’t believe him at first.

“How can you never lie? Like never ever?”

It didn’t make sense to me. It wasn’t an ethical or religious thing for him, so I didn’t really understand it. But as he explained it to me, it began to make sense.

I have since adopted his position, and it’s one of the healthiest things I’ve ever done for myself.

I never lie.

You see, I realized that when I did lie, 95% of the time I was lying to make someone else feel better. Read the rest of this entry »