Meeting Women In Other Places Than Bars
by 
Eric Disco
One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is how little I enjoy bars and clubs for meeting women. I see that as a challenge, so part of me wants to take it on.
And it’s a great place to practice approaching LOTS of women in a very concentrated place where everything’s dark, everyone’s drunk and nothing really seems to matter.
But these places just really start to bore me. And I get tired and I just want to go home and go to sleep.
It’s tough to have fun when I’m bored and tired. And women can tell when you aren’t having fun. If I’m dancing it’s another story. I actually enjoy myself.
But just hanging out trying to talk girls who are partying just doesn’t do it for me anymore.
I’ve been thinking more about what I was looking for in a woman. I’m looking for one woman to settle down with make babies. Maybe not right now, but that’s my long term goal.
I date multiple women and enjoy relationships and I think that’s great. But long term, I want to be with one person.
So I’ve decided that instead going out just looking for people I might be into, I’ve decided on a different tack. I’m doing whatever the fuck I feel like doing. I’m acting as if I already have this person in my life.
If I were with someone I like and I was tired at midnight, would I stay out at a club till 4 in the morning? Nah, I’d probably say “let’s get out of here.”
Not saying I can never enjoy a bar or club if I’m with people I like, but staying out past when I feel good about it is not getting me anywhere.
Beyond that, I’d like to start focusing on doing more things with substance that mean something to me. Going to interesting events, friend’s bands playing, cool happenings, etc.
Similarly, another things that’s been bothering me the last few months is my dates with girls I’m already seeing. I sometimes get lazy and just have them come over.
Going out for a drink and then back to my place is not a bad thing to do on the first date or two.
I don’t recommend trying to impress a girl with super substantive dates packed with fun on the first date. The first date is just about getting to know each other. And yes, hooking up.
But I sometimes slip into a rut of having girls come over. Fine, have a netflix night and chill out, that’s cool too. But I’d prefer to live my life and do interesting things and also find people that do that stuff.
Anyway, the point of all of this is that I’m not doing anything boring at night anymore for pussy or going out just to meet women. I’m done with it.
I’d much rather have a conversation with a cute artsy chick at an interesting event than try to hammer out a conversation out of thin air in a loud club with a party girl.
There are a lot of fun things to do, great events and happenings going on. Here are a few lists I look to to find interesting things.
Posted in Self-Improvement Strategies, Social Circle | 
4 Comments »
Good post Erik!
In know there are many beautioful women in a night club and bars and actually some of these women are really great people in real life, even very mature women go to nightclubs from time to than but I just hate the environment and even these great women might not be so much themselves in a nightclub environment and also the energy is way to high for me.
I like to meet women outside so much though I still have a challenge when I see a cute girl with her friend because the only opener I use now is direct…I have so much approach anxiety that I can’t think of many funny things to say so I rather be sincere and either get an interest or not.
Anyway, your post is great in my opinion, I like sometimes going to a nightclub but I think I can never go without some really cool friends…I am not at all in the social mood alone but it differs from people to people.
Just one small cute question to you Erik, if you would be kind enough to answer it? If I see a really attractive girl with her friends in day time (Library, mall or whatever) do you think I can still just go and tell her that I think she is cute and I wanted to come and say hi? (Of coarse with the right bodylanguage) Is it possible that it works and how do you handle the rejection at that point?
Thank you again and good luck writing your book, I hope you did write it already? :)
Bars and clubs are for sociable, high energy people only. Otherwise, you end up like the fat chick in the corner with a scowl on her face.
“anonymous Says:
June 12th, 2007 at 8:59 am
Bars and clubs are for sociable, high energy people only. Otherwise, you end up like the fat chick in the corner with a scowl on her face. ”
It’s funny how people say they go out to bars to “be social” when my experience has shown me that the opposite is true– people cluster together with what/who they know and don’t make any REAL effort to get to know new people.
People REALLY go out to bars to get drunk and look at people they WISH they could talk to, but mostly sit around with their friends, getting ever drunker. That is, except for that 1% of the population that has the cojones to talk to total strangers with the intent of creating connections.
“It’s funny how people say they go out to bars to “be social†when my experience has shown me that the opposite is true– people cluster together with what/who they know and don’t make any REAL effort to get to know new people.
People REALLY go out to bars to get drunk and look at people they WISH they could talk to, but mostly sit around with their friends, getting ever drunker. That is, except for that 1% of the population that has the cojones to talk to total strangers with the intent of creating connections. ”
Very well said JS, you hit the nail on the head. Having just come back from a night bar/club, I totally agree with you. 99% of people there don’t want to talk to strangers, no matter how fun you appear. They huddle in their own groups and then leave with their group. Any attempt at making contact with these people is greeted with rudeness.