Open Your Mouth And Keep Opening It
by 
Eric Disco
Every single day I’m faced with a choice.
Do I stand there in silence or open my mouth and talk to somebody?
I could be in the elevator.
In line at the cafe.
Getting into a cab.
It’s a rainy morning. 10 am on my way to work. The cafe in my building is filled with people.
I get in line.
There’s a girl standing in front of me. Do I open my mouth and say something, or do I stand there in silence?
“Wow, there’s a lot of people in here when it’s raining,” I say to her.
Wow. That was really dumb. I’m quite the pickup artist, aren’t I?
Well you know what? IT DOESN’T MATTER. All that matters is that I open my mouth.
And keep opening it.
“Nah, it’s usually this crowded in here,” she turns to me and says.
“When it’s this crowded, do you normally cut to the front of the line, push people out of the way?” I banter with her.
She doesn’t really get that I’m joking. I must have forgot to turn on my banter switch this morning.
“Sometimes if I know how much it costs I just drop of the money and leave,” she says, sorta smiling.
She turns back toward the line.
“It’s supposed to be really cold this weekend.”
Wow. Did I just talk about the weather? That’s lame. But who cares. IT DOESN’T MATTER.
I’m not trying to pick this girl up. I’m doing it just to do it.
She turns again and gives me a smile showing her disgust with the weather. “Yeah, I know, that sucks, right?”
“I was in Miami last weekend and it was so nice,” I say.
We talk a bit more before she pays. She gives me a big smile and “Bye” when she leaves.
Every day I am faced with that choice. Do I talk to people or do I keep my mouth shut?
I talk to people about STUPID THINGS. Just to do it.
I talk about the weather a lot.
I talk about how slow the elevator is.
The FIRST STEP is opening my mouth in EVERY POSSIBLE situation. As much as I can.
There’s no way I’m going to get into an elevator with one other person and not talk to them, no matter who it is.
If it’s a rich-looking banker dude.
If it’s a delivery boy.
If it’s an old lady with a scowl on her face.
I love to talk to people with scowls on their faces. It’s amazing how many times it turns right into a smile when you talk to them. They probably don’t even realize they have a scowl.
The more I practice opening my mouth in every possible situation, the easier it gets to be more confident around people I’ve just met.
After that, I can start working on other aspects of becoming a more confident guy around women.
I can start to BANTER with everybody.
I can work on voice projection and SPEAKING LOUDLY with everybody.
By doing this stuff every day, I’ve started to get really comfortable around people I don’t even know. I find myself being more outgoing, funny, and friendly all the time.
And it feels great.
Some of My Favorite Banter
If I’m in line somewhere, I like to joke with the girl about cutting in line somehow. Is she tough? Will she beat me up if I cut in front of her? I could hire her as my body guard, ask her to make a muscle, ask her if she punches like a girl, etc.
I could talk about the weather. Hire or fire her as my meteorologist.
A simple “How are you doing?” She responds “Good, thanks, how are you?” I banter “Oh my god, I thought you’d NEVER ask!” (credit Glenn Jason)
In my elevator in my building I like to joke about how dangerous the elevator is. How people are always getting their limbs chopped off in the doors. How they sharpen the doors every morning and clean the blood off at night.
If the elevator is crowded with people I say that we once managed to get 40 people into that elevator. “It’s amazing how many people you can fit into a tiny space when they’re all dressed like clowns.”
At a counter in any store I can say “Do I have to buy something or can I come here and just flirt with you?”
If I order some food I ask them to make mine extra special and put a little extra love in it.
I don’t always come up with brilliant things to say or keep people laughing. The point is to open my mouth every day, all the time, and keep doing it, no matter how awesome or boring the words might happen to be.
Posted in Attraction, Initiative and Inhibition | 
8 Comments »
“Do I have to buy something or can I come here and just flirt with you?â€Â
I have used that quite a number of times and they never failed me. But so that I won’t appear creepy, I say that with a childish smile. It’s a joke. I’m kidding. I’m having fun. You should hang with me and have fun kinda attitude. And yes, confidence is a beautiful thing to have.
Great articles. Love every single one of them.
This is an awesome post! I got so much out of it. Thanks dude.
Eric, I’ve been reading through all your blogs for the past week (needed something uplifting to read while waiting for my psychobabble books on overcoming social anxiety to arrive from amazon) and there’s a couple of things i want to pick your brains about, if i may.
Firstly, a set of congratulations for making them so readable and enjoyable – i think people could enjoy these even if they weren’t trying to improve themselves. it’s a relief to find some blogs on this subject which aren’t full of irritating TLAs (Three-Letter Acronyms :P), “neg”s and “kino”s and all. The lingo really pisses me off. It’s personally encouraging to find a blog about picking up etc which doesn’t treat it like a geeky cliquey science lesson and one which i can read and not feel contempt for its author.
however, one thing is confusing me – do you consider yourself a pickup artist, like all the self-obsessed (and frankly repulsive – remember neil strauss’ posts on soulless social robots) types who sell their workshops and promise to make you fulfilled beyond your wildest dreams, (not like that wasn’t happening 2000 years ago!) or just a regular guy who’s trying to overcome his shyness and decided to write about it to help out others?
I take it you were once like every other niceguy out there who couldn’t talk to strangers for whatever reasons, but while most gurus and websites advertising seminars and workshops would have you believe that your approach anxiety can be fully “cured” in six hours, you seem to still suffer greatly from it.
So what I’m wondering again, is do you consider yourself a fully-fledged pickup artist, or a guy who’s not quite made it to being a pickup artist yet – or perhaps just a guy who, like me, doesn’t want to be labelled a pickup artist, since that’s not an entirely attractive way for anybody to describe themself?
(I’d much rather just be a normal artist, who happens to be good at talking to girls!)
ta
Eric,
I love your articles. They inspire me! Your blog is always uplifting and positive. I’m becoming more social and more positive. Every day I make an effort to talk to the cutest girl I see. Every day it is hard, but every day it gets a little easier. And – slowly but surely – I’m learning to love the fear/excitement that comes when I see a beautiful girl across the street, turn, jog after her, tap her softly on the arm, and say…. something.
Keep up the great work.
Josh
Enjoyed reading your blog (my son gave me the hookup on it) As far as opening up and talking with so called strangers…. it gets better and easier when one comes to the realization that we are all one, and that there are no strangers. People will feel a love flow from you, and it will come back to you. A kind word here, a joke there…..goes such a long way. Ever heard of the book how to win friends and influence enemies? Lots of good stuff in there. Keep up the good work and it’ll come natural and as comfortable as speaking with a best friend.
Your comments are really funny. LOL, loved the elevator line.
Here’s a good elevator story:
I did this just the other day at work on my way to lunch and now it’s become a saga conversation with this chick. Day 1 we arrive at the elevator together & we get on. I noticed her name on her work badge & I said oh your name’s Wendy, cool I was wondering what your name was & she she then asked what my name was so I tell her & then she repeats my name like Oh ok John. Day 2 she gets on the elevator as cute as she can be & I ask if she was doing ok today? She says I’m good, how are you? I waited as she watched for a reply & I say to her, well I think the word for today is HOT (being that it was 100+ degrees outside.) Then she chuckles & says yes it’s very hot. Then she asks me where the nearest Cingular cell phone store was & I told her where to go. Then she says ok because I ate lunch at my desk & now I have nothing else to do so I reply back, well you’re welcome to hang out with me if you like (with a smerk) & she smiled & went on to her car & I went to mine. Day 3 we’re on the elevator again & I asked her if she was able to find the Cingular store & she said yes, your directions were great, it was a straight shot. So I said cool. So as the days went by she learned which floor I get off on & this morning she punched my floor for me as I was getting on the elevator with her. So the next time I see her I plan on jokingly asking her if she bought me a nice phone so that we can talk to eachother peer to peer for free. This is excellent game. Good subject.
Awww man I did this just the other day at work on my way to lunch and now it’s become a saga conversation with this chick. Day 1 we arrive at the elevator together & we get on. I noticed her name on her work badge & I said oh your name’s Wendy, cool I was wondering what your name was & she she then asked what my name was so I tell her & then she repeats my name like Oh ok John. Day 2 she gets on the elevator as cute as she can be & I ask if she was doing ok today? She says I’m good, how are you? I waited as she watched for a reply & I say to her, well I think the word for today is HOT (being that it was 100+ degrees outside.) Then she chuckles & says yes it’s very hot. Then she asks me where the nearest Cingular cell phone store was & I told her where to go. Then she says ok because I ate lunch at my desk & now I have nothing else to do so I reply back, well you’re welcome to hang out with me if you like (with a smerk) & she smiled & went on to her car & I went to mine. Day 3 we’re on the elevator again & I asked her if she was able to find the Cingular store & she said yes, your directions were great, it was a straight shot. So I said cool. So as the days went by she learned which floor I get off on & this morning she punched my floor for me as I was getting on the elevator with her. So the next time I see her I plan on jokingly asking her if she bought me a nice phone so that we can talk to eachother peer to peer for free. This is excellent game. Good subject.