Challenging Situations Make the Rest Seem Easy

by Eric Disco
Apr 17

During the AM rush hour in New York City, the subway train is QUIET. You wouldn’t think it would be so quiet.

Sometimes trains are packed so tightly, you can’t even get on. You need to wait for the next train.

You’d think that with this many people packed so closely together, that some of them would be talking. But very few do.

If they are talking, they already know each other. And who goes to work in the morning with their friends or lovers? Very few people do.

When I’m talking to a girl on the train, there are at least ten or twenty people that can hear. Most people tune you out, and a lot of people wear headphones or are immersed in reading a book, but you are still on stage.

This morning I ended up talking to a girl on the train. The whole get-to-know-you conversation in front of twenty people is just what the doctor ordered.

I started talking to her on the platform. When the train came and we stepped on, I kept talking.

It’s the same principle as if you are in a group of people and want to move around next to the girl you’re attracted to. Or you want to grab a seat. Keep talking as you are doing so, so her attention is on your voice, not your actions.

We start talking on the train and I realize she understands less English than I previously thought. She’s a cutey from poland with bright blue eyes, tight jeans and a warm smile.

That means I need to talk EXTRA LOUD.

Speaking quietly to girls is not an option. Speaking quietly CREEPS GIRLS OUT. There are few things creepier than a guy who starts talking to her in a whisper.

If she has to say “what,” I may as well pack it in. It’s a perfect barometer of how fucking unattractive I am.

I still haven’t perfected subway game. I still feel like I’m on stage in front of twenty people when I project my voice. In a way I am.

And in a way, it builds even more attraction because she sees that I can handle the pressure.

I’ve come to relish these situations. It’s challenging to me and that’s what I love about it.

It’s perfect for where I want to go. If I can be comfortable talking to girls in front of an audience, I’ll be that much more comfortable when it’s just me and her.

When I see an AMAZING girl on the street and think to myself “Oh my god. I’ve never been more attracted to a girl in my life.” And I muster up the courage to go talk to her, it will be that much easier to talk to any other girl I see.

Since learning how to walk up to strangers and start up conversations, I’ve been a hundred times more relaxed and comfortable when I meet people through friends.

Most of all, my social life is no longer dictated by fear. I can actually FEEL and enjoy other people around me.

I’ve begun to understand social situations in a different light. It’s actually MORE FUN because it’s CHALLENGING and I actually know how to play the game.

This cutey gets off at her train stop before I do.

I ask her her name and shake her hand. I could step off the train with her and tell her what a great interaction it was, set up a date. But it wasn’t that great an interaction.

She has a cute smile and she’s nice, but I’m not that into her.

I soak up her smile as she turns and steps off the train and says Good Bye.


posted in Body Language, Subway Game

8 responses
Anonymous says:

“I still haven’t perfected subway game. I still feel like I’m on stage in front of twenty people when I project my voice. In a way I am.
And in a way, it builds even more attraction because she sees that I can handle the pressure.”

Most girls cannot handle the social pressure so your ability to handle pressure and generate attraction is moot. She must be able to hang in there with you during the ENTIRE pickup process if you are to fuck each other.

What is your goal?

To get over approach anxiety, to show you have balls, to get validated, to perform for subway riders, to get an adrenaline rush, to trigger ASD, or to fuck?

If your goal is the latter, then a rush hour train is not the optimal time or place. Discretion is the better part of pickup.

Fucking girls is not hard. It’s only difficult when guys make it about everything else other than fucking. Let go of your preconceived notions or psychological hangups. It’s not about improving your “game”, feeling better about yourself, overcoming challenges, or any thing else. It’s just fucking.

Remember that you get what you focus on. Guys in the community fuck the least because they focus on nonsense instead of fucking.

Jools says:

I think it’s patently obvious that this subway game stuff is not all about fucking – of course it’s easy to find a girl to screw around with, even i could do that, and i’ve only been dabbling in pickup stuff for around a month – if you need a short-term confidence boost, fine, go ahead and do that, but I think a lot of people who read this site are looking to improve their overall confidence, social lives, status, general happiness – rather than just looking for the next cheap gratification.

when i manage to approach and have a half decent conversation with a stranger during the day, i feel much better about myself than i would if i just fucked a girl and assumed that i’d reached my goal at that. fucking doesn’t have to be the only target…

now, that said, i’m going back to london shortly, and i’m dreading the thought of the pressure i’m going to put on myself immediately i get on the tube next to a pretty girl, since i know i’ll walk away silently feeling like an idiot. i sure as hell hope i can handle the pressure and make some new girlfriends, but time will tell.

good post, anyway ;)

a (nice) guy says:

Dear Anonymous,

Life, happiness, pickup, and even sexuality are not about “just fucking”.

Alexandra says:

Another fantastic post Eric!

Yes, it’s true. When you make / force yourself to do something that may seem challenging at first, the rest seems easier from there. In the past 2 weeks each day I have played the “Hottest Girl of the Day game.” However I have changed the rules a bit. I have changed the name to the “genuine compliment game.” Each day, I force myself to approach at least 1 person and give them a genuine compliment. I have to find the best thing I see all day and compliment that person on it. It may be, “Excuse me, I just had to tell you how handsome you are.” or, “That is just a fantastic shirt! It looks great on you!” When I see the thing I want to compliment on, I move on it right away, no matter where I am. This is a scary thing! Telling yourself that no matter where I am, if I see what I want to compliment I must approach right then! The compliment game is not focused on meeting guys, it’s all about pulling myself out of my shell and just approaching and feeling comfortable with talking to anyone.
This is not about setting up dates or picking people up.. it’s about feeling confortable with yourself and making others happy. The rest is easy from there..
This week I have already seen great improvement in myself. I am much happier and I feel more confident. Not only am I happy, but I’m making their day too.

At first this was a real challenge, it still is. New challenges arrive all the time, so it can never be exactly perfected. But as I continue approaching EVERY day, it makes other interactions in my life easier and more successful.

PS. Incredible conversation can keep someone in your life forever. Hot sex for one night, might just be a flash in the pan. I guess it all depends on what you are looking for. Now incredible conversation AND hot sex.. whoo!!!

- Alexandra

Anonymous says:

People have bastardized pickup so far beyond what pickup is about. It’s about fucking.

What you guys are doing is turning pickup into some kind of crazy, dogmatic religion that feeds whatever emptiness in your psyche. Catholics make sex about sin or reproduction. You guys make pickup about validation.

The extraneous nonsense about feeling good about yourself or any other hangup is the result of not being able to fuck girls regularly in the first place.

Fucking is usually the result of a GREAT interaction between 2 people who CONNECT. You guys make fucking seem like some shallow, trivial happenstance.

You know what’s shallow and trivial? Flirting. People flirt all the time. It’s superficial. Isn’t that why you guys call it BANTER?

However, sexual intercourse is REAL. The word “intercourse” means “conversation”. Fucking is the result of going beyond the surface, getting a woman to shed her clothes and inhibitions, and getting her to REVEAL herself to you.

If you prefer to run around bantering and complimenting 10 women a day and having “half decent conversations” with women to fulfill your emotional voids or psychological hangups, then you will be miss out on REAL connections.

Until you shed YOUR own hangups and nonsense surrounding pickup, you will never truly connect with women.

MikeNYC says:

I agree with the article. I spent a month doing mostly direct game and it greatly improved my overall confidence with women in any situations. the hard things do make everything else seem less challenging.

As for other areas of my life, pickup has definitly helped me in talking to large groups of people, in being a more social person, in being less scared to be myself around new people. the community and my own commitment to it have really changed my life for the absolute better.

I dont agree with Anonymous. The community is not just about fucking. its about being a better man. Although fucking is great.

Jonno says:

Wait, who’s deceiving who’s self here?

I hate to break it to you guy, but the art of seduction can absolutely involve far more than just sex. I’m sorry if that’s the only way you are able to “connect” with women, and that a physical act is the only thing you can understand to be “real”.

Many people want far, far more than just that.

Dragonstyle says:

did you draw the chicks?