During the AM rush hour in New York City, the subway train is QUIET. You wouldn’t think it would be so quiet.
Sometimes trains are packed so tightly, you can’t even get on. You need to wait for the next train.
You’d think that with this many people packed so closely together, that some of them would be talking. But very few do.
If they are talking, they already know each other. And who goes to work in the morning with their friends or lovers? Very few people do.
When I’m talking to a girl on the train, there are at least ten or twenty people that can hear. Most people tune you out, and a lot of people wear headphones or are immersed in reading a book, but you are still on stage.
This morning I ended up talking to a girl on the train. The whole get-to-know-you conversation in front of twenty people is just what the doctor ordered.
I started talking to her on the platform. When the train came and we stepped on, I kept talking.
It’s the same principle as if you are in a group of people and want to move around next to the girl you’re attracted to. Or you want to grab a seat. Keep talking as you are doing so, so her attention is on your voice, not your actions.
We start talking on the train and I realize she understands less English than I previously thought. She’s a cutey from poland with bright blue eyes, tight jeans and a warm smile.
That means I need to talk EXTRA LOUD.
Speaking quietly to girls is not an option. Speaking quietly CREEPS GIRLS OUT. There are few things creepier than a guy who starts talking to her in a whisper.
If she has to say “what,” I may as well pack it in. It’s a perfect barometer of how fucking unattractive I am.
I still haven’t perfected subway game. I still feel like I’m on stage in front of twenty people when I project my voice. In a way I am.
And in a way, it builds even more attraction because she sees that I can handle the pressure.
I’ve come to relish these situations. It’s challenging to me and that’s what I love about it.
It’s perfect for where I want to go. If I can be comfortable talking to girls in front of an audience, I’ll be that much more comfortable when it’s just me and her.
When I see an AMAZING girl on the street and think to myself “Oh my god. I’ve never been more attracted to a girl in my life.” And I muster up the courage to go talk to her, it will be that much easier to talk to any other girl I see.
Since learning how to walk up to strangers and start up conversations, I’ve been a hundred times more relaxed and comfortable when I meet people through friends.
Most of all, my social life is no longer dictated by fear. I can actually FEEL and enjoy other people around me.
I’ve begun to understand social situations in a different light. It’s actually MORE FUN because it’s CHALLENGING and I actually know how to play the game.
This cutey gets off at her train stop before I do.
I ask her her name and shake her hand. I could step off the train with her and tell her what a great interaction it was, set up a date. But it wasn’t that great an interaction.
She has a cute smile and she’s nice, but I’m not that into her.
I soak up her smile as she turns and steps off the train and says Good Bye.