“So I made her smile, now what?” he says to me.
This was no small feat for him. It was a workshop in Miami. He had never approached this many women in his life. And he made them all smile. They were attracted to him. But he had nothing else to say after the first 30 seconds. So he was ejecting from conversations.
You can open a conversation with a girl, but where do you go from there?
I start asking him questions about himself. Where he worked, what he likes to do for fun. What are his hobbies, what are his true interests? What was the most fun he had in the last month?
At first I found out he “worked in a kitchen.” But as we talked more, his answers revealed a whole different side to him. He loved cooking and passionately talked about it. He was into philosophy and loved being with his friends. He had an iconoclastic sense of humor.
Women want to see your passion. They want to know what you really care about.
I’m in love with music. I love to talk about it. I once mentioned to someone that I probably talk about music too much. But they said that they like to talk about it with me because they can see my face light up when I talk about it.
People can tell when you love what you’re into. Women love it.
This guy Osho has an interesting perspective on it:
Women love a deluded man. They are always searching for a deluded man, somebody who is mad and insane because they find a deluded man more attractive than an ordinary man. The insane, deluded man has certain magnetism; he is full of possibilities, dreams. Women love dreamers. That’s why women fall in love with people who have great illusions about themselves. An ordinary man is one who has no illusions; no woman is attracted towards an ordinary man. A deluded man looks magical. He has magic, his eyes flare up with something unknown, something not of this earth, something of beyond and that is the desire of the woman. He has the sense of possibility and that sense of possibility gives him the quality of magic. This is the reason lot many beautiful women hang around musicians, singers and actors.
Everybody is bored with their lives. There are few things more exciting than being with someone who is passionate about what they do.
You don’t need to be a rock star for women to be attracted to your passion. It can be whatever you are into, whether it’s rock climbing, chess, or stamp collecting. Your passion will come out.
Next time a girl asks “what you do?”, instead of monotonously giving her a job description, try answering the question “What are you passionate about?”
What are you truly interested in? What have you been thinking a lot about lately? What have you been reading about?
If you are going to take the time to connect with someone, why not talk about what YOU really WANT to talk about? It will show.
posted in Rapport SkillsCOMMENTS