Comments on: Start Feeling Rejected And Its Game Over

By: pbad

pbad — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 16:34:10 +0000

I definitely agree with the neutral invitation principle. It’s worked for me on myriad occasions, and it seems to have a kind of “hook” that date-type invites don’t. “No pressure…I’ll be there anyway, you’re invited.”

I do find that that technique works in the beginning, when you’re working to gain rapport. It’s low risk, but unlike most investments like this, the payoff can be huge even considering the risk level. Add that to your Bat-belt, guys.

By: ZaReK

ZaReK — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 22:28:43 +0000

Hey man, I wouldn’t have taken the “No, I�m staying in and doing nothing tonight” has a no. I’d have taken it like the answer you got at the end, like she was implying she wanted me to come over. On that, I’d propably tell her she’s too good at implying things for me and keep going on the sexual tension.

By: Eric a.k.a. Disco

Eric a.k.a. Disco — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:33:39 +0000

I agree with Scott. Your validation made this girl want to get closer to you, but she didn�t want to throw herself at you so she dropped a hint, hoping you�d invite yourself over to her place. You completely misunderstood what she was doing, interpreting it as rejection! When you invited her to a movie, she realised she would have to spell it out.

Yeah… I probably did miss that hint.

Another thing about validation: if a girl is never sure whether you like her or not, she�ll soon get tired of games and move on to the next guy.

Absolutely. At some point you need to express your interest in her in some explicit way.

By: mdm-adph

mdm-adph — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:22:03 +0000

maybe it’s because you were being too NICE to her. I’ve heard that turns women off.

Or… maybe it’s because all women are insane.

By: Angelique

Angelique — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 02:39:45 +0000

I agree with Scott. Your validation made this girl want to get closer to you, but she didn’t want to throw herself at you so she dropped a hint, hoping you’d invite yourself over to her place. You completely misunderstood what she was doing, interpreting it as rejection! When you invited her to a movie, she realised she would have to spell it out.

Another thing about validation: if a girl is never sure whether you like her or not, she’ll soon get tired of games and move on to the next guy.

By: Scott

Scott — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 01:19:09 +0000

I though her original response “No, I’m doing nothing tonight.” was a pretty big hint that she wanted you there too. She wouldn’t go from “pet me” to “no I don’t even want a drink with you” overnight. She wanted you to invite yourself, but you didn’t get the hint.

By: MikeNYC

MikeNYC — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 19:36:21 +0000

This post wins the trophy for hottest pictures of girls.

Eric you have great taste in women. :D

By: Zack

Zack — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 17:30:36 +0000

Great post. Interestingly, I am dealing with a similar situation right now where I feel like I am slightly feeding a girl’s validation. I like that you neutrally offered up the movie to show that you are moving full steam ahead with or without her. How I translated your post is that once the girl felt like she could lose you (for the night, anyway) and that you didn’t NEED her/wouldn’t feel lonely or rejected without her, she realized that she really wanted you.
I am now inspired to do something similar with my girl because althought she is cool, I don’t have many crumbs left to feed her validation.