I Used To Have Demons
by 
Eric Disco
I used to have demons in my room at night. Desire. Despair. Desire. So many monsters. – Annie Lennox
I’m coming off a fantastic weekend. Just finished teaching a workshop. It was beautiful. The best part about it was really connecting with the guys. Being a big brother to them. Seeing them change and grow. Seeing them struggle and overcome.
I don’t normally listen to my ipod on the way to work anymore. It’s too anti-social. I usually talk to a girl or so on the subway train in the morning on the way to work. It’s the best way to start off the day.
This morning is different. I have my headphones on. And I’m listening to slow sentimental music. And I feel great. I don’t even care about making sure I talk to anyone.
As the train stops at 14th street, I look down the subway car. It’s a full-on look. I see a cute girl at the other end of the car looking back at me.
I refuse to break eye contact. I wait until she looks away first.
She keeps looking.
Finally after she looks away I think about walking over to her. I have one stop to go on my train. But there’s an empty seat next to her so I say fuck it.
I walk across the train. Everyone is still and seeing me do this. They have nothing else to look at. I don’t care.
I sit down next to her. I say something to her.
She has headphones on.
I motion to her to pull her headphones out and start talking to her.
For this “pickup” I do everything technically wrong you can possibly think of. And you can tell from the look on her face that this isn’t the smoothest interaction in the world.
But I’m warm to her. And I’m so 100% fine with everything today. Nothing could ruin this perfect morning.
She starts to warm up. I get a smile.
My stop comes up quickly. I say “it was really nice meeting you.” I turn and shake hands with her before I get off the train.
I put my headphones back on. I feel great. I didn’t think I could feel even better than I did before, but I do.
Posted in Subway Game | 
6 Comments »
question for you.
do you feel you are genuinely qualified to teach pickup or do you feel you teach because you are a tad better that your students?
simple, easy, harmless, beautiful.
i know exactly how good that can make you feel.
I don’t feel that I am ANY better than my students. I struggle with this stuff every day, just as my students do. Every single day I work to understand and get past my fears. I have the utmost respect for people who are out there every day doing this themselves. There are few things harder and at the same time, few things that will improve you more as a person.
disco, you’ve said you were making eye-contact and waited she will look away first. i imagine it like two lions who bound to fight for territory. Didn’t you smile while making eye contact? Isn’t it suppose to be like this:
1. boy sees hot girl.
2. boy looks at girl waiting she will notice him.
3. girl notices boy.
4. boy makes eye contact and smiles at girl.
5. girl smiles back/looks away.
6. boy follows the 3 sec. rule and approaches.
“I don’t normally listen to my ipod on the way to work anymore. It’s too anti-social.”
I was thinking just the same, back in the days when I didn’t carry around a music player anyway; I was thinking it’ll give me an excuse not to be social. And now I think it’s not like that at all!
1. You have this music with you, which you picked out, music that makes you happy. Many times I’ve shared headphones with people I was sharing a ride with (heck, “people” – never shared with a dude, only with girls, so who am I fooling :) … Their so-called social disconnect was actually a damn-easy way for me to connect. Earpieces are hardly a bitch-shield. But most of the times, their music wasn’t as good as mine. All those people allow themselves to carry music they love, why not me?
2. You have the liberty to disconnect yourself from your personal entertainment – your music, your book – at any time. While boring yourself to force seeking more social entertainment in helpful to us introverts, eventually it’s more manlike to decide “Here I have my way to entertain myself, but I’m stopping it now to talk to her”. Stopping something which you could’ve easily kept on doing is an act of committing yourself, just like walking over to her. As you take out the earpieces while facing her, she’ll notice and attend to you.
There were times when I’d think up something to say to a girl, and she answered with “What?” – probably cause she misheard me, or was totally not expecting something from me – which takes me out of balance for a bit, making me repeat myself, feeling rehearsed. One time the girl litterally screamed and jumped up, cause I came from an angle she didn’t expect anyone at. The ritual “taking off the earpieces” helped me see just how better it’d make her first notice I’m about to talk and then go on.
smells erotic……..