Am a very friendly guy and I think that what makes my approaches with strangers usually work, friends love the part is that I can be very social and fun without drinking, am just afraid of the points I mentioned above, so am quite sure you have faced all these situations and have dealt with it and have succeded, I want to know how you handled them and how can I get over those negative points and ideas. The only thing I like about night game is grinding (Sorry for sounding dorky) but that I like that.

Yours trully
SuperMan

4)

Matt,

I think you can get away with this by making non-verbal contact before just simply grabbing at her hand.

That’s a very good point. I hope’ll be able to understand her “go ahead” ;)…

Eric,

There would be no dating anyone in this world if people needed to get written permission in triplicate every time they made a move.

Yes, that is absolutely true – and of course meeting people is about getting into their personal space. I am just concerned about the “engagement level”. Grabbing her hand is like invading without even indicating an invasion might be something she should consider. If she’s seen me before (Matt’s eye contact) she can anticipate something, and it’s not someone grabbing her hand out of the blue. I don’t know, I think this is the opposite of all the classic “remove her fear from the interaction”. I think prior interaction – Matt style – is what I’d need. Now I just have to make myself follow up – in 3 seconds ;)

I don’t know. Somehow I think taking a hand without prior interaction is a little breaking and entering someone’s personal space.

It is. That is exactly correct. This is one of the important give-and-takes of seduction. You CAN’T always completely respect her personal space.

You CAN’T always respect her personal space.

There are things in this world like sexual harassment and unwelcome advances, etc. But this is not you.

You are a thoughtful, sensitive individual. But you are also a man.

You are the one that comes in and risks everything, you risk rejection, you risk creeping her out, you risk making her uncomfortable.

You step into her personal space just a bit. But that’s okay. That’s how you have to begin the interaction.

There would be no dating anyone in this world if people needed to get written permission in triplicate every time they made a move.

You ASSUME she is attracted to you. If she’s not, then you know are a cool guy and you are cool with it. You can feel that out.

You aren’t a creep. But that doesn’t mean you won’t ever creep any girls out.

If you don’t risk creeping any girls out, you’ll be the guy that stands against the wall with his beer while the other guys are the ones getting the action.

You take the risk, you handle the emotions that go with it, win or lose.

I think you can get away with this by making non-verbal contact before just simply grabbing at her hand. For example, if you get eye contact with her, smile, hold your hand oud, then grab her hand and spin her. Make sure to be smiling so that you don’t get the creepy vibe you talk about.

-Matt

I see this cute asian girl dancing alone. So I grab her hand. I move it over her hand to make her spin. I pull her into me.

See, that’s the kind of thing I am still rather uncomfortable with.

Grabbing a girl’s hand without having talked to her first? Without getting some sort of ‘go ahead’ sign? I think this is not something I’d do on any dancefloor in any club. I’d need at least a conducive social environment. And probably conducive music – say, latin stuff, music conducive to paired dancing and physical contact, as opposed to the music usually played in most clubs, that’s the very opposite of conducive to pairing dancers.

I don’t know. Somehow I think taking a hand without prior interaction is a little breaking and entering someone’s personal space. I’ve had girls do it to me, and, fair enough, I (usually) enjoyed it. But I doubt most girls would enjoy that… but it’s a fine line. You’re right about the risk taking aspect, it’s just that I’m afraid this kind of thing could quickly become perceived as creepy if there has not been any prior interaction.

You’re right about having the ability to “make a move.” There are too many guys that just dance near girls and not with them. My move is to just simply grab her hand and twirl her around, it’s that easy.

Good post.

-Matt Savage