Approach On The Dancefloor

by Eric Disco
Mar 17

There’s sweat dripping from the ceiling. This place is ON FIRE.

Wall to wall people. Dancing. Afro-cuban music on the sound system.

Cute girls, of every race, dancing to the music. You have to squeeze to get past people it’s so packed in.

There are single girls here tonight. You better believe it. AND THEY’RE NOT DANCING WITH ANYONE.

There are groups of guys, cool-looking guys, not douchebags, dancing near these girls.

BUT NONE ARE WILLING TO MAKE A MOVE.

They keep hoping the girl will turn and dance with them.

But she doesn’t.

The situation is quite simple, once you do it once or twice. The dance floor seems to be a little bit different than any other situation.

I see this cute asian girl dancing alone. So I grab her hand. I move it over her hand to make her spin. I pull her into me.

She’s into it.

Why? Because I’m a hot slab of beefcake? Not really. I’ve spent countless nights watching other girls dance with guys.

She dances with me because I put myself out there. I take the risk.

I pull her into me and we start dancing. I “go down” on her by lifting her hands in the air and running my hands down her arms, down the sides of her body, down past her hips and scrape my hands on her jeans as I slowly go down into a squat.

I do the same thing coming back up.

She does the same thing to me.

“You’re a really good dancer,” I tell her. “So are you,” she says to me.

I pull her in and let her “ride” my thigh. It’s practically sex on the dancefloor. She is so ready to go.

Was it me? No! Well, kinda. But this place is on fire. It’s not that hard as long as you are willing to make a bold move.

We keep dancing and grinding. I pull her in and dance close. I push her away after a while and dance far. I spin her. I grab her front pockets and pull her back into me.

I’m not that great a dancer. Really. I just know four or five fun sexy things to do on the dancefloor and keep doing it.

We start to talk and vibe. She’s asking me questions about myself. Where do I live. “What do you do, if you don’t mind me asking.”

I don’t need to run very much banter. She’s already into me.
We dance some more.

“Oh my god, you are so sexy. I HATE YOU.” I say. Then *smack* on the ass.

She laughs and pulls me in. I run her hands over my chest.

Okay, I’m starting to get REALLY turned on right now.

She’s here with her friends. I’m not willing to put the time and effort in to pull this girl back to my place. I don’t even really want her phone number. I don’t have time for any more girlfriends right now.

After an hour or so of dancing I ask her where she’s going after this. She says she’s going to talk to her friends. I tell her to go find her friends and we say goodbye.

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posted in Body Language, Field Reports

COMMENTS
6 responses
Matt Savage says:

I think dancefloor game is under appreciated by the community. Dancing is such an easy way to create attraction and it doesn’t even require much talking.

You’re right about having the ability to “make a move.” There are too many guys that just dance near girls and not with them. My move is to just simply grab her hand and twirl her around, it’s that easy.

Good post.

-Matt Savage

jj says:

I see this cute asian girl dancing alone. So I grab her hand. I move it over her hand to make her spin. I pull her into me.

See, that’s the kind of thing I am still rather uncomfortable with.

Grabbing a girl’s hand without having talked to her first? Without getting some sort of ‘go ahead’ sign? I think this is not something I’d do on any dancefloor in any club. I’d need at least a conducive social environment. And probably conducive music – say, latin stuff, music conducive to paired dancing and physical contact, as opposed to the music usually played in most clubs, that’s the very opposite of conducive to pairing dancers.

I don’t know. Somehow I think taking a hand without prior interaction is a little breaking and entering someone’s personal space. I’ve had girls do it to me, and, fair enough, I (usually) enjoyed it. But I doubt most girls would enjoy that… but it’s a fine line. You’re right about the risk taking aspect, it’s just that I’m afraid this kind of thing could quickly become perceived as creepy if there has not been any prior interaction.

Matt Savage says:

jj,

I think you can get away with this by making non-verbal contact before just simply grabbing at her hand. For example, if you get eye contact with her, smile, hold your hand oud, then grab her hand and spin her. Make sure to be smiling so that you don’t get the creepy vibe you talk about.

-Matt

I don’t know. Somehow I think taking a hand without prior interaction is a little breaking and entering someone’s personal space.

It is. That is exactly correct. This is one of the important give-and-takes of seduction. You CAN’T always completely respect her personal space.

You CAN’T always respect her personal space.

There are things in this world like sexual harassment and unwelcome advances, etc. But this is not you.

You are a thoughtful, sensitive individual. But you are also a man.

You are the one that comes in and risks everything, you risk rejection, you risk creeping her out, you risk making her uncomfortable.

You step into her personal space just a bit. But that’s okay. That’s how you have to begin the interaction.

There would be no dating anyone in this world if people needed to get written permission in triplicate every time they made a move.

You ASSUME she is attracted to you. If she’s not, then you know are a cool guy and you are cool with it. You can feel that out.

You aren’t a creep. But that doesn’t mean you won’t ever creep any girls out.

If you don’t risk creeping any girls out, you’ll be the guy that stands against the wall with his beer while the other guys are the ones getting the action.

You take the risk, you handle the emotions that go with it, win or lose.

jj says:

Thanks for the replies guys!

Matt,

I think you can get away with this by making non-verbal contact before just simply grabbing at her hand.

That’s a very good point. I hope’ll be able to understand her “go ahead” ;)

Eric,

There would be no dating anyone in this world if people needed to get written permission in triplicate every time they made a move.

Yes, that is absolutely true – and of course meeting people is about getting into their personal space. I am just concerned about the “engagement level”. Grabbing her hand is like invading without even indicating an invasion might be something she should consider. If she’s seen me before (Matt’s eye contact) she can anticipate something, and it’s not someone grabbing her hand out of the blue. I don’t know, I think this is the opposite of all the classic “remove her fear from the interaction”. I think prior interaction – Matt style – is what I’d need. Now I just have to make myself follow up – in 3 seconds ;)

SuperManA says:

Hey Erik,
How are you?
I swear to GOD that this site among all the inner game CDs that I have heard and all advice and products you get from meeting women experts, that was the best that helped me go out and approach and for the first time ever accept my fear and not take the rejections very seriously (Which very rarely happens if you approach in a friendly way) however, I still have questions concerning appraoching a hot girl with her friend in a day game can I still be direct.
However, that is not the issue for today, the thing is that I don’t do night games but I realise that I do love grinding with girls on the dance floor, I love it and it is the only thing I would like to do in a night game is to grind. But since I have never done a night game I do have lots of anxiety espacially that I don’t drink and makes it harder. I have many issues concerning why I don’t approach girls on the dance floor even though I realised few days ago that it can be not that difficult as it seems. I have some problems that I would like to list.
1) In night game I realise people of my skin colour are the ones who looks most dorky and looks desperate and get rejected since they only drink and look at girls at dance floors (Unfortently for me in a strange country (I live in Finland by the way).
2) Am afraid to grap the girls hand and make a move not because of rejection on the dance floor, at night time they are usually drunk and not very serious but because am afraid other girls will see it and than I will lose my chance with them.
3) When am with nice friends in the disco am usually in a very high energy state, even though I don’t drink I know how to have fun but I still am afraid getting rejected infront of them or looking like deperate trying with different girls.
4) If I go alone am afraid to be dancing with my ownself like an idiot on the dance floor or not having the right energy to approach I want to get over that. I want to be able to go and start all by myself.
5) Am afraid appraoching her on the dance floor if she is surrounded by friends. Even though I have seen a ‘girl’ friend was grinding with a guy (Am sure she wasn’t atttracted to at all) infront of my friends.
6) Finally even though am a fun person I belive that most of the time am so inside of my head that makes my delivery quite bad or interaction stall out.

Am a very friendly guy and I think that what makes my approaches with strangers usually work, friends love the part is that I can be very social and fun without drinking, am just afraid of the points I mentioned above, so am quite sure you have faced all these situations and have dealt with it and have succeded, I want to know how you handled them and how can I get over those negative points and ideas. The only thing I like about night game is grinding (Sorry for sounding dorky) but that I like that.

Yours trully
SuperMan

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